|10-06-2010, 01:40 PM||#1|
Join Date: May 2008
Local Time: 11:56 AM
New fic from a newbie: The Loner (short story)
This is my attempt to write a fanfic, I have written some others but have not posted them. It´s a short story about Adam, but of course, the Adam in my fic is not the real one, as I can´t claim I know him. These are the ramblings of my own imagination, hope you enjoy it...__________________
The motivation for the fic came from this picture...
When he raised his eyes from the newspaper he had been reading, he immediately sensed the rarified, distinct atmosphere. The air was far heavier and there was an unusual feeling as if his surroundings had become darkened. His eyes roamed from one side to the other, but the rest of his body was like lethargic, it did not want to follow their moves. His hands left the paper on his lap and he turned to his left to comment this strange phenomenon with his mates sitting in the farthest corner of the bench he was sitting but they were gone.
Where on earth could they be? He wondered as the four of them had to be on board a plane to New York for a concert in less than an hour. He looked around the place and found no one. He knew he should need to stand up and walk around to find them but he was glued to the bench.
What the f…?
He tried to stand up until he felt his legs and arms hurt with the effort. Sudden calm reached him when he stopped trying and his heart beats slowed down. An all-enveloped peace captured him and he sat back to enjoy the fresh feeling. As if his consciousness knew something his physical being didn’t, he knew everything would be all right whatever that meant. He smiled complacently and closed his eyes to get pleasure in that unknown feeling.
It was at that moment, when both body and mind were in total peace, that he heard it. A voice, soft, faint, delicate, divine. A voice that could be a flower, a bee or a stream, a voice that was real and illusory. A voice that subjugated and was subjugated. A voice. A woman’s voice. Or rather the ethereal voice of an ethereal being. A voice that paralyzed his blood and gave life to his veins. A voice that talked straight to his heart.
He sat up with a jerk and looked around, but saw no one. What he did see was the rest of the people at the airport lounge unmoving in midair, caught in walking, eating, chatting, carrying their suitcases… His friends were laughing infectiously, frozen as if they were carved in stone, a few paces from his seat. He tried to call them, but his voice was faulty, a thread of hoarse sounds came out his throat. He was scared.
There’s nothing to be afraid of, he heard.
The same voice, the voice that quickened his pulse and eased his soul. A voice that was gentler than any voice, yet powerful and controlling. A voice. A woman’s voice.
There was only the whiteness of light surrounding him which almost hurt his eyes. He wanted to leave, to move away from the seat, but again he was tied to its wooden frame with invisible bonds. He was afraid and his hands and neck sweated. A cold hand soothed him with a caress. He shook his head trying to get rid of the invisible stroke.
Don’t be frightened.
Again the voice that came from nowhere but was everywhere overwhelmed him.
Am I getting crazy? He thought and the anguish of desperation took him over.
You’re OK. Relax, Adam. A murmur blew his ear.
How do you know my name? He claimed to no one.
I know you very well.
Who are you? He said and he felt how long, tender fingers were placed on his lips to hush him.
Shush…no words are needed between us… just relax and you’ll understand my language.
Adam struggled to be calm but he found it difficult, especially when he was following instructions from an invisible woman. Curiously enough, in a short time and little by little, his mind adjusted to the new situation and a balm of tranquility bathed him.
That’s it, now you are ready…
Ready? What for? He started to get a bit uneasy again.
You’re all fire, Adam. Just close your eyes and leave everything to me…
At the same time he heard her words directly in his head, he closed his eyes and a soft touch covered his forehead, eyes and mouth soothing him as nothing had done before. He rolled up his shoulders and his back leaned on the seat gently. His mind was in blank and he could sense his heartbeats in the centre of his chest. It was an altogether pleasant feeling. Involuntarily he cracked a smile.
You’re getting it now, Adam.I´m so glad…
He did not open his eyes and did not stir in his seat, he had a calmness that was beyond any worry and he didn’t want to interrupt it. His heart and chest were light and he could say he was happy.
Sure you’re happy, Adam, it´s a question of wanting
Wish it were so easy…he answered and realized he was not speaking.
It is, my dear, you just have to let go…
Who are y..?
Hush, no questions, let it flow…
He sighed so deep that he had a pain in his chest, for a split second he worried. Could he be having a heart attack?
No, Jesus, Adam no!! The woman’s voice giggled. You’re not having a heart attack!
Thank God on your behalf as you are not on speaking terms with Him.
That’s not true.
How do you call someone who never ever prays?
Eh…Adam started to hesitate, the unseen woman was right. He had not spoken to God in ages. He really didn’t know if he had ever…
No need to pray in a conventional way, you know.
It doesn’t seem so. I understand you’re not a great believer, are you?
Well…in fact…he stopped and blushed; he was unable to explain why he felt uncomfortable with the subject. He has never been a true believer and that had been a source of conflict with his band mates as they were Christian parishioners. For them their band was a band with a mission; but he was just a musician, lest zealous about their sense of “mission”. Moreover, he was supposedly the band boozer, the cosmopolitan, frivolous, sullied, trippy fall-inclined member.
I guess I have difficulty with the way spirituality can be portrayed sometimes…
That’s because you have not listened to the wind.
I don’t know what you mean…
Stop and listen…
From nowhere there was a breeze coming that brushed his hair and face; and he felt safety as it if were a night at home, logs lit and a love one at his side. Comfort welled up inside him and he knew he could not let go.
That’s how it will feel when you win over your fears, my dear.
My fears? What fears?
You know I know about your fears.
He wondered how she could know about his lost battles against partying and drinking, abusing his body without restrain. But by now he understood he did not have to ask, she just knew.
It’s a hard fight and you’ve done a lot…just a bit more of willpower to continue. The reward is worthwhile…
Do you think so? I sometimes feel so tempted to…
No way! There’s no coming back. You have been brought back down to earth, and now, having gone through all that, I know you definitely prefer it the way it is. Don’t you feel much more focused, much more useful?
Sure I do, but it hurts…
But you’ve done so well lately…
Do you think so? He asked a bit in disbelief.
Sure you have. Do you remember? She giggled… When you were younger and the only thing you could think of was to be the class clown to defend yourself?
He chuckled. There was no future for me…
Nothing at all! Your father would say.
My father…he whispered.
Tough character, a rock. The voice added with melancholy. Not very convenient for a boy who thought it was much more interesting to rely on creativity, friendship, loyalty and pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable. From an early age you didn't buy into the value systems of working hard in a nine-to-five job.
Adam sighed with gloominess. Do you think he’s forgiven me?
He’s proud of you, dear. She said calmly and her voice sounded balsamic.
Why hasn’t he ever told me?
For the same reason you have never tried to talk to him. I mean a long, serious, man-to-man talk.
You’re so right! He realized he had not done many things in his life but just the ones he felt good with. I suppose neither of us would feel comfortable with a confessionary- you-are-to-blame chat.
It doesn’t have to be like that, my dear. Just saying the right words in the right moment could suffice…
For a strange reason, he didn’t ponder why she called him dear. It sounded natural now.
The right words?
I love you, for example.
I love you? To my father? He laughed.
It’s not deranged, you know.
He could not see her but he was sure that she had smiled. And he could see in his mind’s eye a warm, loving smile.
Probably not in other families…
What’s wrong with yours? She tried him.
He became edgy and moved in his seat until he felt her soothing hand on his arm.
Nothing I guess… he confessed with glumness.
You don’t say I love you much…
I do! He complained.
Sorry, I don’t agree with you. Tell me, when was the last time you did?
He tried to think if he had said I love you recently; especially to his last girlfriend, a beautiful girl he had thought it could have been the one for him. But in his mind, he couldn’t remember if he had said it much. Surely he had answered the convenient “I do too”.
That doesn’t count…she said cheerfully.
Damn it, woman! You don’t let me think!
I can help you…think about your mother, sister, brother, father, friends…did you?
Well….I’ve been busy.
Busy to love? She sounded as if she were teasing him.
A sensation as if a bucket of ice water had fallen on his head overshadowed him. She was right, he had not said it for a long time, not even to that woman he had thought could have been with him for good…
I’m so lonely.
You are not…
Ha! He chuckled. Where’s my valentine?
Inside your heart…
A pun, good purposefully but a pun nonetheless.
Look into your heart and you’ll find your true love.
Ha-ha, that was funny!
I don’t mean to be funny at all, Adam!
Sorry…he wondered why he was excusing himself with an apparition but he knew there was no questioning.
You are looking for a woman that fascinates you, gives you something to live for, but you’ve already got that. You’ve got a career people envy, money, fame, friends and family that love you and respect you (even if you don’t reveal your feelings much). You need a road companion, someone who cares for you when you are tired and out of shape, someone who supports you and is not overwhelmed by your achievements, but rather believes you can always give more. Someone who has her own accomplishment in life and doesn’t need to pick you up on, someone who walks with you, neither ahead nor behind…
He sighed. He had been some kind of wild, crazy firework. It was an easy image of himself he had chosen. But he was deeper than that.
You don’t need to prove it, but to act by it.
Easier said than done, he replied with a sad smile.
Nothing is easy in life, dear. But you are a lucky man, Adam. You can look at yourself in the mirror. You’d have enough and you know it. You have decided to change and the process has started. It’s your time now. You have so much ahead of you!
Suddenly he understood she was more than right. He was a fortunate man, more fortunate perhaps than he had deserved. He had a good life and he didn’t expect it. He had been very confused when fame came early on in his career. And he opted for the easy way out; he had been bent out of shape for some time in terms of what it had importance. Fame in him acted as if it were an achievement in itself and not the ornament that comes with success. Some times it had overpowered his creativity and his work. He ended up believing in the image he had made up for himself.
You were lucky enough to have people around you that believe in you and in themselves and have been there for you when you needed them.
Everything she said was so true that it hurt him not having been able to see it before.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time, give time some time. You’re still reprogramming your life. It was a difficult decision you’ve made, to start controlling your life again and it will take a while before you feel comfortable with it, but you will eventually.
Wish to have your faith… a residue of that bitter taste was still in his mouth but inside he radiated calm and content.
You have to learn to appreciate your life, Adam. You are a distinct man…
Her delicious harmonious voice lulled him and sheer happiness and extraordinary serenity and peace welled up inside him.
Soon, dear Adam, you’ll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff. You’ll accept the good stuff and leave the bad behind…
He was relaxed and her words came as a relief. Those days had knocked the wind out of him .He had needed longer than the rest to stop rejecting what he liked doing as it brought a lot of bad stuff he had eaten up in the process.
You are ready now…
He definitely felt what he had been told so many times before… a sense of well being and of spirituality, a sense of community and fellowship, a sense of not being alone.
Is it what I think it is? He asked slowly, almost in a whisper.
It is, my dear…
By a tacit understanding, he knew she was about to leave. He had so many things to ask her! Will I ever fall in love …? I mean real love, you know…
You will, darling.
But how will I know she’s the one? How will I know when settling down and having kids and …?
Ah, my little soul…You have to listen to the wind…
Again an unexpected gentle breeze came up and that was the moment when he knew everything would happen as she told him. He understood that it was the fear of his bygone life passing, his life sipping through his fingers. He felt as though ten years might pass in that instant, as if he were borne again by the music, carried away into a future full of possibilities. At the same moment he caught a glimpse of a radiant beauty with the longest golden hair he had ever seen. Her blue eyes were slanted and large and looked dreamy and her red lips, full and pushed forward in a pout. Adam felt a quickening of the pulse, a throbbing in his throat as he saw the fairest beauty, a splendorous woman so intense that any man would fall for her in adoration. He gasped as she placed her hand on his face, a soft touch as if it was made of gauze, enchanting his senses. He had a blend of feelings as he knew they were going to be apart for good, yet she was his rescuer and he had to thank her for that.
There’s no need, my love. She whispered in his ear and framed his cheek with her long fingers, then she leaned over his face and brushed his lips with hers, in a soft, breathtaking kiss.
Maybe it’s the not the demons who have given you the melodies, but the angels…
He was overwhelmed and dizzy when the world around him moved back to life. The mysterious woman must be an enchantress, a sorceress who conquered him in soul and spirit. But above all she had given back faith in him.
He heard the voice at a distance.
“Man, wake up, they’ve been calling our flight for ten minutes now!” Bono, his friend and front man of his band called him.
“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost!” Edge, the guitarist, told him and the three friends chuckled.
“Come on, Adam, we have to get going!”
He stood up, his legs stiff and he could barely speak. “Did you see her?”
“Who?” Larry, the drummer asked him, half teasing him and half in surprise.
“The woman that was with me,” he stammered.
Bono passed his arm around his shoulder. “I told you you needed to rest, man. There was no woman around.”
“How come? She was with me when you were not here, you should have seen her when you came back…”
“Come back, mate? Where from? We haven’t been anywhere.”
“Surely you dozed off and had a dream…” They tried to explain as the four walked to the gate.
Adam didn’t know what had happened to him, neither could he explain it. But the sense of freedom and serenity that dawned on him was unrivaled.He cracked a flashing smile and a will to show he was contented with his life took him over.
“Thanks, my friends,” he said, his voice full of emotion.
“Hey, man, what for?” Larry asked him.
“For being with me the moment I need you…”
“What are you thanking us for? What are friends for?” Bono punched his arm friendly.
Edge looked at Adam with awe. “Is there anything you want to tell us, mate?”
He looked at the three unconditional friends whom he loved more than his own life and shook his head.
“Nothing, Edge… I just love you, guys…” he was surprised to having said it so easily.
The three heads rose in unison and they giggled. Larry was the first to speak.
“Adam, you’re not ill, are you?” He went near him and hugged him tight, pretty emotionally.
Adam hugged him back. “No, I’m not, Lars.” He chuckled.
“Don’t scare us, my friend.” Edge said with serious gesture.
“Relax, there’s nothing to be afraid of…” Adam still had a big smile on his face.
Bono, who was the most sanguine of the four and perhaps the most emotional, looked him in the eye.
“Finally you are back with us!” he gave him a bear hug that lasted long as both understood what his words really meant. “Soon you’ll be a joy!” he laughed when he broke the embrace and the four headed to the gate from where in a few minutes they would leave for another concert, another work well done, another day in paradise…
|10-06-2010, 02:56 PM||#2|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: If I lived any more north I'd be in Quebec. But I'm not. I'm in New Brunswick.
Local Time: 11:56 AM
This was just beautiful.__________________
In my head the woman was his mother but then I realized that she is still living..
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
|10-07-2010, 09:46 AM||#3|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: on the sunnyside of the street
Local Time: 03:56 PM
This is so beautiful. You captured so many different emotions and feelings in such a short story. I love it!
|10-07-2010, 11:33 AM||#5|
Join Date: May 2008
Local Time: 11:56 AM
Thanks to all of you...so glad you like the story..It´s very special for me. Again thanks for the comments...
|10-07-2010, 06:43 PM||#6|
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Inside Bono's Mind
Local Time: 02:56 PM
That was brilliant!!
You had me all teary eyed by the beauty of it all!!
Loved Bono's comment at the end, seems to me it would be the kind of thing only he could say!
|10-14-2010, 07:06 PM||#7|
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: BABY, WE'RE GOING TO NASHVILLE! 7/2/11 <3
Local Time: 10:56 AM
this was truly beautiful! I knew he had fallen asleep but the idealism behind it is truly amazing! Turns out all that he needed in his life was to have a little bit of faith. You had some very lovely pieces of advice in this! Well done!
|10-15-2010, 03:14 AM||#8|
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Inside Bono's Mind
Local Time: 02:56 PM
|Thread Tools||Search this Thread|