One_Acrobat
The Fly
Hello ladies,
First off, I'd like to say: Congratulations to my best friend (who Rachel is based on) R&H for her amazing FF debut- Screw the 'reader not a writer' crap. YOU'RE AMAZING!
Second, this chapter I struggled A LOT with. It's not as inspired as I would like it to be but that's my take on it.
Feedback please!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I only own the U2 LP the rest is FICTIONAL.
“Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts”
— Lucas Scott - One Tree Hill
How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
Is against all odds and that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you,
well that's all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
Just take a look at me now
It was ironic how the place Larry and I had said our last ‘good-byes’ was the same place I was meeting him again. Four years ago, at 16 years old, I would never have even begun to imagine where this story would take us. I would never have, in my wildest dreams, dreamt that all this would happen with Larry Mullen Jr.
As if realizing for the first time that I was the one living the story, I finally understood what I had to do. I had to write my own ending.
I hastily shoved the letter back into its envelope and dashed back into the house. The corners of the shoebox dug into my thighs but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I was too determined.
“Rachel!” I called, setting the box down on the kitchen table.
She ran out of her bedroom. Her light brown hair was still wet for her shower and she wore an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and faded denim shorts over her bikini.
I marched over to the small, quaint kitchen and poured two cups of coffee; one cream, two sugars for me and two creams, one sugar for her. I set them down next to the box and gestured for her to sit down.
“What’s all this?” Rachel pointed to the box as she sat down, pulling her knees to her chest.
“Look Rach, we’ve been friends for an incredibly long time. In all these years, there’s only one thing I haven’t been completely honest about.” I breathed deeply before continuing. “There are 730 letters in this box. I won’t make you read all of them. All I want is for you to read one and then I’ll explain what happened when we were 16 and I became so secluded and isolated from the rest of the world. However any one of these letters will say what can’t be put into words.” I pushed the heavy box towards her and took a sip of my coffee. This was it.
I watched her hesitantly remove the lid and observed as she chose to read letter number seven. Having known Rachel for over a decade, I understood her silence almost as well as I understood her words. We had some kind of imperceptible connection I guess you could say. From the way she held the letter and scrutinized the address scrawled on the front of the envelope, I was able to deduce that she was shocked as hell that her best friend had fallen in love with a rock star. It was about the most uncommon thing to happen in a person’s life.
For moment, there was complete silence. Neither of us spoke nor touched our mugs. Rachel simply stared at the worn envelope. I could tell she wanted to hear whatever needed to be said from me, not some soiled piece of paper. However no words I could ever say would be more honest then what was printed in my small, slightly messy cursive handwriting; and somehow, I think she understood that.
At last, Rachel spoke. “Do you want me to read it out loud?”
“No.” I answered. “It’s really not necessary. I already know every word written in that letter.”
Dear Larry,
It has officially been a week. Seven whole days have passed. I have to say, that’s quite a change from seeing you every day.
I hope all is well with your music and the new album. I’ve been too scared to watch the news or read the papers. I’ve been too scared to stumble across a certain piece of information that I really don’t want to know. Instead, I get all the information I need from Rachel.
Don’t let Bono get to you too much. I know you, Larry and I also know how big a pain the ass Bono can be. Try not to throw any punches for a little while, alright?
There are simply no words in the English language to describe how hard this past week has been for me. The only time I leave my bedroom is to go to and from school. Speaking of which, you’ll be proud to know my marks haven’t suffered the least bit since you’ve left Wilmington.
I would love to escape for a little while. This town, this beach, my house, they all hold so many memories of the summer and us. It would be nice to wander off from my own body, take a little break and experience life from someone else’s point of view. Something tells me it’s simpler than mine.
I’ll think I will tell you about some good news for a welcomed change. Rachel and I have been planning to take a two day trip to New York City. As you know, we have both always dreamed of the city and wish to live there someday. That’s actually the argument we’re using to convince our parents to let us go on our own. Knowing my over-protective father, I doubt he’ll let me but it never hurts to try…
Ugh! Damn Edge and his optimism. He’s slowly making my negative demeanour go away.
I wish you could explain once more why you left me for Ann. No matter the number of times you tell me, I’ll be left confused. You told me that you had never felt with Ann why you felt when you were with me. Nevertheless, you still left. Why? If what we had was so good, why would you choose to leave? If only I could talk to you, have you hold me in your arms, kiss you once more.
Me being stupid, I told you that if we couldn’t be together, I wasn’t sure I could handle keeping contact with you. God, I can be an idiot sometimes.
I love you, Larry.
-Gwen ♥
“I’m not sure I fully understand…” Rachel said, looking up from the letter. “You were in a relationship with Larry?”
“I was.” I admitted, bracing myself for the explanation I was about to give.
“Remember when we were 16 and we were able to go backstage and meet U2? That’s when it all started.”
“I remember that…” She nodded. “How did you two meet?”
“I just told you.”
“No, I mean what did you say? How did everything happen?”
How had everything happened? I wasn’t sure even I knew. Nonetheless, I smiled as the memory came running back to me. It had played a thousand times in my head.
“Hi.” I said, leaving my friends behind. Since when was I so bold?
“Err… hello”
I sat down on an amp beside him. I caught myself staring as he lit up a cigarette and breathed deeply.
“Oh I’m sorry, did you want one?” He politely offered, retrieving the pack from his jeans’ pocket.
“No thank you. I prefer not to die of cancer.” Smoking was one thing I was adamant on. My father had been diagnosed with liver cancer three years ago and the thought of losing him to such a nasty vice was bigger than any urge of mine to smoke. Though now rid of any cancer cells, that thought had never left me.
Instead of being offended, Larry simply laughed. “It is quite disgusting, I should quit.”
I looked back at my friends. Rachel, being the most out-going of the group was having an easy conversation with Edge; probably about politics or music like she had predicted she would.
My two other friends, Brooke and Sophie where shyly smiling at Bono and Adam while they went on about something that seemed interesting enough by the look of their hand gestures and facial expressions.
Beside me, Larry took a sip of water and placed the bottle on the floor. For the first time since arriving backstage, I looked into his eyes. His piercing blue eyes stared into my green ones, waiting for me to say something. However, when I opened my mouth to do so, no words came out; so Larry spoke for me.
“You’re quite beautiful.” Larry said matter of factly, his lips forming into a smile.
I felt myself blush and quickly looked away, suddenly overcome with shyness.
What was it about him?
“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if maybe I had heard wrong.
“I think you’re really beautiful.” He repeated.
“You’re not shy, are you?” I laughed. “You don’t even know my name and the only reason I know yours is because you’re the drummer in my favourite band.”
“So then, what is your name?” He inquired.
“It’s Gwen”
“Well then hello Gwen. I’m Larry.”
“Hello Larry.”
“That’s what happened?”
“Well that's the just of it.” I replied, bringing my mug to my lips and taking a sip.
“Listen.” Rachel said after a moment. “This is a good story and I’m happy you told me but I’m confused as to why you’re telling me this now?”
I took a deep breath before answering. “Larry’s back in Wilmington.”
A huge smile spread across my best friend’s fair-skinned face. “That’s great!
Now your relationship can pick off where it left off. Oh, could you set me up with Bono because-”
“Wrong.” I whispered.
“Wrong?”
“There’s still one more part to the story I have yet to tell you…” I mumbled. To be honest, I didn’t want to have to tell her. However I knew that if I wanted her help and good advice, it was only mandatory that she know.
“In late August, Ann, his ex-fiancée called. Larry was horribly confused as to what to do. At that point, the band wasn’t touring. A few weeks before they left, I asked Larry if I could go with him. Rach, you have to understand that I had never felt anything like what I felt when I was with him. I was hopelessly, head over heels in love and at the time, it seemed like the only option I had to avoid losing him. Larry flat out refused. He told me I had to finish school, go to college, pursuit my dreams. When I asked him what would happen to ‘us’, Larry told me we both had to move on with our lives. Though he loved me, he thought it would be better if he married Ann seeing they lived in the same country and had known each other for so long.” I paused as an effort to hold back some tears I didn’t want Rachel to see. I didn’t know that revisiting the past would be so hard.
“What happened?”
“I never thought he would actually choose her over me. I thought his reasons for doing so were stupid and senseless. He ignored my protests and left anyway and that was the end of it. I never heard from him again… until now.”
“Wow, I’m sorry Gwen. I had no idea.”
“How were you supposed to know?” I smirked. “Now I’m just confused as to what to do.”
Rachel thought for a moment before answering. “You should go talk to him.” She nodded. “ I think it would be the best thing.”
“You know what Rachel?” I smiled. “I think you’re right.”
*
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Rachel asked as she rolled down the window of my 1967 Chevy.
“I don’t.” I replied. “But I know I have to.”
I pulled the key out of the ignition, stepped out of the car and started my way up the walkway of Connolly’s beach-front bed and breakfast. I had been surprised when I found out U2 had decided to stay at a bed and breakfast in Wilmington and not a swanky five star hotel in one of North Carolina’s bigger cities but Larry told me it was a nice break from all the hustle and bustle and noise of the bigger cities.
I pushed the door open and made my way to the small desk at the entrance.
“Hello Mrs. Connolly, I was wondering if you maybe tell me what room Larry’s staying in. I would really like to talk to him.”
Besides the band, the Connollys were the only ones who knew of our relationship. Surely she would send me up, right?
“I’m sorry dear; we’re under strict instructions to notify the band of any visitors. I’ll have to ask him.”
Fuck! What if he didn’t want to talk to me, then what?
I smirked as I watched the elderly woman march up the stairs to the third floor and turn left. Larry was staying in the same room he had four years ago.
I walked into the living room and sat down on the floral print sofa. What was I doing? Larry probably wouldn’t want to talk to me. After the way we’d left things all those years ago. I doubt he would even want to be in the same room as me. For starters, what was I going to say to him?
So many questions ran through my mind in the few minutes that Mrs. Connolly was gone.
“Gwen?” I heard a familiar voice say.
I steadied myself and slowly turned around, my stomach tied up in knots.
“Hello Larry.”
Ohhhh cliffhanger !
?
?
Feedback please!
First off, I'd like to say: Congratulations to my best friend (who Rachel is based on) R&H for her amazing FF debut- Screw the 'reader not a writer' crap. YOU'RE AMAZING!
Second, this chapter I struggled A LOT with. It's not as inspired as I would like it to be but that's my take on it.
Feedback please!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I only own the U2 LP the rest is FICTIONAL.
“Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts”
— Lucas Scott - One Tree Hill
How can I just let you walk away,
just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
Is against all odds and that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now,
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you,
well that's all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now,
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take, oh, oho
Just take a look at me now
It was ironic how the place Larry and I had said our last ‘good-byes’ was the same place I was meeting him again. Four years ago, at 16 years old, I would never have even begun to imagine where this story would take us. I would never have, in my wildest dreams, dreamt that all this would happen with Larry Mullen Jr.
As if realizing for the first time that I was the one living the story, I finally understood what I had to do. I had to write my own ending.
I hastily shoved the letter back into its envelope and dashed back into the house. The corners of the shoebox dug into my thighs but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I was too determined.
“Rachel!” I called, setting the box down on the kitchen table.
She ran out of her bedroom. Her light brown hair was still wet for her shower and she wore an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and faded denim shorts over her bikini.
I marched over to the small, quaint kitchen and poured two cups of coffee; one cream, two sugars for me and two creams, one sugar for her. I set them down next to the box and gestured for her to sit down.
“What’s all this?” Rachel pointed to the box as she sat down, pulling her knees to her chest.
“Look Rach, we’ve been friends for an incredibly long time. In all these years, there’s only one thing I haven’t been completely honest about.” I breathed deeply before continuing. “There are 730 letters in this box. I won’t make you read all of them. All I want is for you to read one and then I’ll explain what happened when we were 16 and I became so secluded and isolated from the rest of the world. However any one of these letters will say what can’t be put into words.” I pushed the heavy box towards her and took a sip of my coffee. This was it.
I watched her hesitantly remove the lid and observed as she chose to read letter number seven. Having known Rachel for over a decade, I understood her silence almost as well as I understood her words. We had some kind of imperceptible connection I guess you could say. From the way she held the letter and scrutinized the address scrawled on the front of the envelope, I was able to deduce that she was shocked as hell that her best friend had fallen in love with a rock star. It was about the most uncommon thing to happen in a person’s life.
For moment, there was complete silence. Neither of us spoke nor touched our mugs. Rachel simply stared at the worn envelope. I could tell she wanted to hear whatever needed to be said from me, not some soiled piece of paper. However no words I could ever say would be more honest then what was printed in my small, slightly messy cursive handwriting; and somehow, I think she understood that.
At last, Rachel spoke. “Do you want me to read it out loud?”
“No.” I answered. “It’s really not necessary. I already know every word written in that letter.”
Dear Larry,
It has officially been a week. Seven whole days have passed. I have to say, that’s quite a change from seeing you every day.
I hope all is well with your music and the new album. I’ve been too scared to watch the news or read the papers. I’ve been too scared to stumble across a certain piece of information that I really don’t want to know. Instead, I get all the information I need from Rachel.
Don’t let Bono get to you too much. I know you, Larry and I also know how big a pain the ass Bono can be. Try not to throw any punches for a little while, alright?
There are simply no words in the English language to describe how hard this past week has been for me. The only time I leave my bedroom is to go to and from school. Speaking of which, you’ll be proud to know my marks haven’t suffered the least bit since you’ve left Wilmington.
I would love to escape for a little while. This town, this beach, my house, they all hold so many memories of the summer and us. It would be nice to wander off from my own body, take a little break and experience life from someone else’s point of view. Something tells me it’s simpler than mine.
I’ll think I will tell you about some good news for a welcomed change. Rachel and I have been planning to take a two day trip to New York City. As you know, we have both always dreamed of the city and wish to live there someday. That’s actually the argument we’re using to convince our parents to let us go on our own. Knowing my over-protective father, I doubt he’ll let me but it never hurts to try…
Ugh! Damn Edge and his optimism. He’s slowly making my negative demeanour go away.
I wish you could explain once more why you left me for Ann. No matter the number of times you tell me, I’ll be left confused. You told me that you had never felt with Ann why you felt when you were with me. Nevertheless, you still left. Why? If what we had was so good, why would you choose to leave? If only I could talk to you, have you hold me in your arms, kiss you once more.
Me being stupid, I told you that if we couldn’t be together, I wasn’t sure I could handle keeping contact with you. God, I can be an idiot sometimes.
I love you, Larry.
-Gwen ♥
“I’m not sure I fully understand…” Rachel said, looking up from the letter. “You were in a relationship with Larry?”
“I was.” I admitted, bracing myself for the explanation I was about to give.
“Remember when we were 16 and we were able to go backstage and meet U2? That’s when it all started.”
“I remember that…” She nodded. “How did you two meet?”
“I just told you.”
“No, I mean what did you say? How did everything happen?”
How had everything happened? I wasn’t sure even I knew. Nonetheless, I smiled as the memory came running back to me. It had played a thousand times in my head.
“Hi.” I said, leaving my friends behind. Since when was I so bold?
“Err… hello”
I sat down on an amp beside him. I caught myself staring as he lit up a cigarette and breathed deeply.
“Oh I’m sorry, did you want one?” He politely offered, retrieving the pack from his jeans’ pocket.
“No thank you. I prefer not to die of cancer.” Smoking was one thing I was adamant on. My father had been diagnosed with liver cancer three years ago and the thought of losing him to such a nasty vice was bigger than any urge of mine to smoke. Though now rid of any cancer cells, that thought had never left me.
Instead of being offended, Larry simply laughed. “It is quite disgusting, I should quit.”
I looked back at my friends. Rachel, being the most out-going of the group was having an easy conversation with Edge; probably about politics or music like she had predicted she would.
My two other friends, Brooke and Sophie where shyly smiling at Bono and Adam while they went on about something that seemed interesting enough by the look of their hand gestures and facial expressions.
Beside me, Larry took a sip of water and placed the bottle on the floor. For the first time since arriving backstage, I looked into his eyes. His piercing blue eyes stared into my green ones, waiting for me to say something. However, when I opened my mouth to do so, no words came out; so Larry spoke for me.
“You’re quite beautiful.” Larry said matter of factly, his lips forming into a smile.
I felt myself blush and quickly looked away, suddenly overcome with shyness.
What was it about him?
“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if maybe I had heard wrong.
“I think you’re really beautiful.” He repeated.
“You’re not shy, are you?” I laughed. “You don’t even know my name and the only reason I know yours is because you’re the drummer in my favourite band.”
“So then, what is your name?” He inquired.
“It’s Gwen”
“Well then hello Gwen. I’m Larry.”
“Hello Larry.”
“That’s what happened?”
“Well that's the just of it.” I replied, bringing my mug to my lips and taking a sip.
“Listen.” Rachel said after a moment. “This is a good story and I’m happy you told me but I’m confused as to why you’re telling me this now?”
I took a deep breath before answering. “Larry’s back in Wilmington.”
A huge smile spread across my best friend’s fair-skinned face. “That’s great!
Now your relationship can pick off where it left off. Oh, could you set me up with Bono because-”
“Wrong.” I whispered.
“Wrong?”
“There’s still one more part to the story I have yet to tell you…” I mumbled. To be honest, I didn’t want to have to tell her. However I knew that if I wanted her help and good advice, it was only mandatory that she know.
“In late August, Ann, his ex-fiancée called. Larry was horribly confused as to what to do. At that point, the band wasn’t touring. A few weeks before they left, I asked Larry if I could go with him. Rach, you have to understand that I had never felt anything like what I felt when I was with him. I was hopelessly, head over heels in love and at the time, it seemed like the only option I had to avoid losing him. Larry flat out refused. He told me I had to finish school, go to college, pursuit my dreams. When I asked him what would happen to ‘us’, Larry told me we both had to move on with our lives. Though he loved me, he thought it would be better if he married Ann seeing they lived in the same country and had known each other for so long.” I paused as an effort to hold back some tears I didn’t want Rachel to see. I didn’t know that revisiting the past would be so hard.
“What happened?”
“I never thought he would actually choose her over me. I thought his reasons for doing so were stupid and senseless. He ignored my protests and left anyway and that was the end of it. I never heard from him again… until now.”
“Wow, I’m sorry Gwen. I had no idea.”
“How were you supposed to know?” I smirked. “Now I’m just confused as to what to do.”
Rachel thought for a moment before answering. “You should go talk to him.” She nodded. “ I think it would be the best thing.”
“You know what Rachel?” I smiled. “I think you’re right.”
*
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Rachel asked as she rolled down the window of my 1967 Chevy.
“I don’t.” I replied. “But I know I have to.”
I pulled the key out of the ignition, stepped out of the car and started my way up the walkway of Connolly’s beach-front bed and breakfast. I had been surprised when I found out U2 had decided to stay at a bed and breakfast in Wilmington and not a swanky five star hotel in one of North Carolina’s bigger cities but Larry told me it was a nice break from all the hustle and bustle and noise of the bigger cities.
I pushed the door open and made my way to the small desk at the entrance.
“Hello Mrs. Connolly, I was wondering if you maybe tell me what room Larry’s staying in. I would really like to talk to him.”
Besides the band, the Connollys were the only ones who knew of our relationship. Surely she would send me up, right?
“I’m sorry dear; we’re under strict instructions to notify the band of any visitors. I’ll have to ask him.”
Fuck! What if he didn’t want to talk to me, then what?
I smirked as I watched the elderly woman march up the stairs to the third floor and turn left. Larry was staying in the same room he had four years ago.
I walked into the living room and sat down on the floral print sofa. What was I doing? Larry probably wouldn’t want to talk to me. After the way we’d left things all those years ago. I doubt he would even want to be in the same room as me. For starters, what was I going to say to him?
So many questions ran through my mind in the few minutes that Mrs. Connolly was gone.
“Gwen?” I heard a familiar voice say.
I steadied myself and slowly turned around, my stomach tied up in knots.
“Hello Larry.”
Ohhhh cliffhanger !
?? Feedback please!
Chapter 2, finally!!!!!! (which reminds me...I really need to catch up on my writing 
)
