hippy
ONE<br>love, blood, life
This is my story. I was inspired to write it down after reading the words of the Foreword to Walk On and hearing other people?s encounters with God during the Elevation tour. I apologize in advance for the length. But not one word can be removed without destroying my experience. I?m sure you all understand. I don?t expect many people to read it. Or to respond. But I need to share. I need to explain to other people how U2 has touched me. And I want to hear your stories.
Hallelujah.
I don?t know where to begin. I want to share my experience with U2, but I can?t find the words to start.
I guess I?ll begin at the beginning.
U2 rescued me from death. I was in a very dark place in my life when I first heard Beautiful Day. I skipped classes to buy the CD on the very day it came out. I couldn?t wait to hear it. Beautiful Day had done so much for me, I was anxious to hear the rest of the album. The first night I had the album I listened to it three times. It was cathartic. I was able to experience the emotions that had been bottling up inside me for such a long time (almost 3 years). I listened to the album constantly. Unfortunately, the people around me weren?t into U2 so I had no one to share my experience and feelings with. But I couldn?t help but listen to the album at least once a day. The songs meant so much to me. They became my sustenance: my bread and water. I could have been Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days had I been able to have this album with me. I was still in a dark place, but U2 was the balm on my wounds for at least an hour every evening. It almost became a ritual, a sort of spiritual blessing before I fell asleep. A sort of hallelujah before the day ended.
Those were my feelings before the tour was even announced. I don?t remember how I found out about the tour, but all I remember is seeing that they were playing the first night in Miami and I had to be there. But God decided that I wasn?t going to be in Miami on March 3rd, 2001. And so life continued on. I was accepted to college, finished high school, and got a summer job. Then on August 18th,2001 I entered the University of Miami for what was to be probably the most trying semester of my life. I struggled to make friends. I had a horrible roommate. I was lonely and depressed. And I had long since given up my ritual ATYCLB listening each night. There didn?t seem to be a point. Because nothing was getting better. I wasn?t going anywhere and I didn?t like where I was. It was difficult to see anything good in life. And then September 11 happened. I was at work when the first plane hit, but was in my room watching in disbelief as the second plane hit and the towers collapsed. My roommate was talking on the phone, oblivious to what was going on as usual. I was stunned. I proceeded to fall even deeper into the depression I had been battling for 4 years (since my parents divorced). And it seemed there was no where to turn and no one to help. I cried constantly and began to brood on the meaninglessness of life and living. I was a danger to myself. But on the outside I was okay. Nobody knew anything was wrong. Nobody could see me struggling to stay alive.
Then my roommate asked me to leave. One morning there was an e-mail in my mailbox called ?A Touchy Subject?? in which she asked me if there was any chance I would be willing to switch roommates with a friend of hers with whom she wanted to live. It was the icing on the cake and I almost fell completely apart. But somehow everything stayed together and I met this other girl. Her name was Darcie (Dar for short) and she and I got along like we had been best friends for many years. In fact, I had a small picture of U2 on my wall and she saw it and, without my saying anything about my love for the band, said, ?All That You Can?t Leave Behind is one of my favorite albums. I listen to it all the time. It just touches something inside me.? She doesn?t know this, but that?s the reason I moved in with her. She could have been an axe murderer and I would probably have moved in with her. I was excited to find someone who cared about the same things I did and was on the same intellectual level that I was. Dar was the roommate everyone dreams of when they go to college. Enough like you to get along really well, but different so that you?re still really interested in her as a person. From there things seemed to get better. I was finally able to determine that I was studying the wrong subject (theatre) and I decided to change my major to English and French Literature. Another step toward the light. Dar and I continued to get to know each other and would often stay up all night long talking about things, something I had hardly done with anyone else in my life. She was a blessing, my new focus was a blessing. And then it happened?
U2 announced an extended tour with an extra 8 dates. And the last date would see them complete the circle that began in Miami and would end December 2nd, 2001 in the same place. I knew I had to be there. No matter what I had to go. And I did. I got seats in the nosebleed section of the American Airlines Arena. But I wanted more. I had wanted GA but couldn?t get them. But I knew I had to be down on the floor. I was willing to get arrested just to be on the floor for the show. The guy I was with was scared and nervous about trying to get to the floor. But I was going with or without him. So I just walked down the aisle to the gate where they were letting GA people in, and I looked the guards straight in the eye and walked right past. And they let me. The man could clearly see that I had no wristband of any kind, but he let me walk through. That step onto the floor after my triumph at the gate was something I?ll never forget. I looked around me at the people who were there. And I said to myself, ?This is what you?ve been looking for.? And something else inside me said, ?Prepare yourself, Kim, there?s no going back. I?m not going to let you get out of this. You?re right here right now and something?s going to happen to you. I can?t tell you what, but I can feel it. Get ready.? And with that the lights dimmed and I heard what everyone else who attended every concert of the tour had heard?the first ?woo-oh? of Elevation. And I froze. As the people around me started to jump and scream, I froze. I can?t say why. Maybe I knew that I would need all the energy I had to make it out of the concert without collapsing.
As the opening continued to play and the people around me became more and more animated, I realized that I was screaming along with them. I was ?woo-oh?-ing as loud as I could, because I was excited and because I felt compelled to. It was a sort of primal scream therapy that began the night and set the tone for the cleansing to come. I sang at the top of my lungs to many of the lyrics that I knew, just screaming with the melody for the other parts.
And then, the first chords of Stuck In A Moment You Can?t Get Out Of. Something inside me broke. I could feel it. And the tears came. I couldn?t stop them. I didn?t want to stop them. I felt the heat running down my cheeks and for the first time in a long time I felt alive. I felt emotion like I hadn?t know in many months. I raised my hands in the air and looked to the sky and offered up this prayer. ?Dear God, I don?t know why I?m here tonight. But I trust you to show me the reason. Please help me! I don?t know who I am anymore! PLEASE!? And had it not been for the people around me, I would have fallen on my knees and sobbed on the floor until the tears had been exhausted. But I was held up by my fellow U2 fans. As the tears streamed down my face and my spirit seemed to drop out of my body, Bono came to the tip of the heart and said this: ?God is love. God is not hate.? Those were the exact words I needed. And Bono had offered them to me not a moment too soon. As I was mentally dying, Bono?s words reached to the bottom of my soul and lifted it up by the roots. I was shaken and I was humbled. But most importantly I was uplifted. And the tears in my eyes changed from bitter tears that burned trails in my face to tears that mended my broken heart. The tears that rained out of my eyes were blessed with the power of God. And I experienced a closeness I had never felt before and I doubt will ever feel again. I was close to the fans around me. I was close to everyone in that arena that night. And I was close to the four people standing on stage. No, they weren?t just standing, they were connecting. And I was close to them. And through all this I was somehow close to God. I couldn?t explain it then and I can?t explain it now.
The power of God did indeed walk through that room that night. God was there with me. He stood by His child as she sobbed out the pain in her heart. He heard me cry out to Him. And He took my upraised hands and held them to His heart as He whispered to me and revealed the reason He had brought me there. ?My child,? he whispered, ?THIS is why you are here.?
And then the words came?
?Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One??
And I was at peace. ?We get to carry each other.? And I was carried?by the thousands of people around me?by Bono?by Edge?by Larry?by Adam?and by God. By God who chose to reveal himself to me at a rock concert using the humble words and melodies of the four prophets known as U2. Amen.
hippy
------------------
And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape
You can dream, so dream out loud!
"The way to be optimistic is not to shut your eyes and close your ears." -Bono
Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!
Hallelujah.
I don?t know where to begin. I want to share my experience with U2, but I can?t find the words to start.
I guess I?ll begin at the beginning.
U2 rescued me from death. I was in a very dark place in my life when I first heard Beautiful Day. I skipped classes to buy the CD on the very day it came out. I couldn?t wait to hear it. Beautiful Day had done so much for me, I was anxious to hear the rest of the album. The first night I had the album I listened to it three times. It was cathartic. I was able to experience the emotions that had been bottling up inside me for such a long time (almost 3 years). I listened to the album constantly. Unfortunately, the people around me weren?t into U2 so I had no one to share my experience and feelings with. But I couldn?t help but listen to the album at least once a day. The songs meant so much to me. They became my sustenance: my bread and water. I could have been Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days had I been able to have this album with me. I was still in a dark place, but U2 was the balm on my wounds for at least an hour every evening. It almost became a ritual, a sort of spiritual blessing before I fell asleep. A sort of hallelujah before the day ended.
Those were my feelings before the tour was even announced. I don?t remember how I found out about the tour, but all I remember is seeing that they were playing the first night in Miami and I had to be there. But God decided that I wasn?t going to be in Miami on March 3rd, 2001. And so life continued on. I was accepted to college, finished high school, and got a summer job. Then on August 18th,2001 I entered the University of Miami for what was to be probably the most trying semester of my life. I struggled to make friends. I had a horrible roommate. I was lonely and depressed. And I had long since given up my ritual ATYCLB listening each night. There didn?t seem to be a point. Because nothing was getting better. I wasn?t going anywhere and I didn?t like where I was. It was difficult to see anything good in life. And then September 11 happened. I was at work when the first plane hit, but was in my room watching in disbelief as the second plane hit and the towers collapsed. My roommate was talking on the phone, oblivious to what was going on as usual. I was stunned. I proceeded to fall even deeper into the depression I had been battling for 4 years (since my parents divorced). And it seemed there was no where to turn and no one to help. I cried constantly and began to brood on the meaninglessness of life and living. I was a danger to myself. But on the outside I was okay. Nobody knew anything was wrong. Nobody could see me struggling to stay alive.
Then my roommate asked me to leave. One morning there was an e-mail in my mailbox called ?A Touchy Subject?? in which she asked me if there was any chance I would be willing to switch roommates with a friend of hers with whom she wanted to live. It was the icing on the cake and I almost fell completely apart. But somehow everything stayed together and I met this other girl. Her name was Darcie (Dar for short) and she and I got along like we had been best friends for many years. In fact, I had a small picture of U2 on my wall and she saw it and, without my saying anything about my love for the band, said, ?All That You Can?t Leave Behind is one of my favorite albums. I listen to it all the time. It just touches something inside me.? She doesn?t know this, but that?s the reason I moved in with her. She could have been an axe murderer and I would probably have moved in with her. I was excited to find someone who cared about the same things I did and was on the same intellectual level that I was. Dar was the roommate everyone dreams of when they go to college. Enough like you to get along really well, but different so that you?re still really interested in her as a person. From there things seemed to get better. I was finally able to determine that I was studying the wrong subject (theatre) and I decided to change my major to English and French Literature. Another step toward the light. Dar and I continued to get to know each other and would often stay up all night long talking about things, something I had hardly done with anyone else in my life. She was a blessing, my new focus was a blessing. And then it happened?
U2 announced an extended tour with an extra 8 dates. And the last date would see them complete the circle that began in Miami and would end December 2nd, 2001 in the same place. I knew I had to be there. No matter what I had to go. And I did. I got seats in the nosebleed section of the American Airlines Arena. But I wanted more. I had wanted GA but couldn?t get them. But I knew I had to be down on the floor. I was willing to get arrested just to be on the floor for the show. The guy I was with was scared and nervous about trying to get to the floor. But I was going with or without him. So I just walked down the aisle to the gate where they were letting GA people in, and I looked the guards straight in the eye and walked right past. And they let me. The man could clearly see that I had no wristband of any kind, but he let me walk through. That step onto the floor after my triumph at the gate was something I?ll never forget. I looked around me at the people who were there. And I said to myself, ?This is what you?ve been looking for.? And something else inside me said, ?Prepare yourself, Kim, there?s no going back. I?m not going to let you get out of this. You?re right here right now and something?s going to happen to you. I can?t tell you what, but I can feel it. Get ready.? And with that the lights dimmed and I heard what everyone else who attended every concert of the tour had heard?the first ?woo-oh? of Elevation. And I froze. As the people around me started to jump and scream, I froze. I can?t say why. Maybe I knew that I would need all the energy I had to make it out of the concert without collapsing.
As the opening continued to play and the people around me became more and more animated, I realized that I was screaming along with them. I was ?woo-oh?-ing as loud as I could, because I was excited and because I felt compelled to. It was a sort of primal scream therapy that began the night and set the tone for the cleansing to come. I sang at the top of my lungs to many of the lyrics that I knew, just screaming with the melody for the other parts.
And then, the first chords of Stuck In A Moment You Can?t Get Out Of. Something inside me broke. I could feel it. And the tears came. I couldn?t stop them. I didn?t want to stop them. I felt the heat running down my cheeks and for the first time in a long time I felt alive. I felt emotion like I hadn?t know in many months. I raised my hands in the air and looked to the sky and offered up this prayer. ?Dear God, I don?t know why I?m here tonight. But I trust you to show me the reason. Please help me! I don?t know who I am anymore! PLEASE!? And had it not been for the people around me, I would have fallen on my knees and sobbed on the floor until the tears had been exhausted. But I was held up by my fellow U2 fans. As the tears streamed down my face and my spirit seemed to drop out of my body, Bono came to the tip of the heart and said this: ?God is love. God is not hate.? Those were the exact words I needed. And Bono had offered them to me not a moment too soon. As I was mentally dying, Bono?s words reached to the bottom of my soul and lifted it up by the roots. I was shaken and I was humbled. But most importantly I was uplifted. And the tears in my eyes changed from bitter tears that burned trails in my face to tears that mended my broken heart. The tears that rained out of my eyes were blessed with the power of God. And I experienced a closeness I had never felt before and I doubt will ever feel again. I was close to the fans around me. I was close to everyone in that arena that night. And I was close to the four people standing on stage. No, they weren?t just standing, they were connecting. And I was close to them. And through all this I was somehow close to God. I couldn?t explain it then and I can?t explain it now.
The power of God did indeed walk through that room that night. God was there with me. He stood by His child as she sobbed out the pain in her heart. He heard me cry out to Him. And He took my upraised hands and held them to His heart as He whispered to me and revealed the reason He had brought me there. ?My child,? he whispered, ?THIS is why you are here.?
And then the words came?
?Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One??
And I was at peace. ?We get to carry each other.? And I was carried?by the thousands of people around me?by Bono?by Edge?by Larry?by Adam?and by God. By God who chose to reveal himself to me at a rock concert using the humble words and melodies of the four prophets known as U2. Amen.
hippy
------------------
And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape
You can dream, so dream out loud!
"The way to be optimistic is not to shut your eyes and close your ears." -Bono
Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!
