A Bono for all denominations

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.

Shaizari

Acrobat
Joined
Dec 18, 2003
Messages
362
Location
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
If Bono was Catholic, the Pope would beautify him and make him a saint. Imagine that: Saint Bono, patron of rock bands

If Bono was Eastern Orthodox, they'd make an icon (image) of him and kiss his image like Orthodox christians do to their icons. I bet he'll be a popular icon amongst female devotees??

If Bono was a flamin Pentecostal, he'd be...gasp... a mirrorball man. I have a vision....Bonovision.

If Bono was Amish, he'd make button up shirts dangerously sinful.

If Bono was a Jehovah's Witness, you'd want him to knock on your door.

If Bono was a Mormon, he would make cycling hip and cool as his shades

If Bono was a Charismatic, he'd paint himself black and make sweet gospel music....Ahmazin Grraice Bruther Mullen

If Bono was old school Anglican, he'd be the Archbishop in the Diocese of cool

If Bono...I'm running out of denominations...
 
:hmm:
:shifty: If Bono was Baptist..... "going down with Bono" would have a COMPLETELY different meaning. :eeklaugh: :mac:

(Baptist believe in the full submersion of a body under water (baptism) in order for a sinner to be born again.)
 
Last edited:
BluRmGrl said:
:hmm:
:shifty: If Bono was Baptist..... "going down with Bono" would have a COMPLETELY different meaning. :eeklaugh: :mac:

(Baptist believe in the full submersion of a body under water (baptism) in order for a sinner to be born again.)

I think I actually blushed while reading that!
:lol:
 
Bono would not be allowed in a monastery because:

1: he likes cigars
2: has a weakness for belly dancers
3: extroverts don't like enclsed spaces
4: he'd make the monks learn power riffs and chords
5: the wine cellar would be empty when Bono comes along
6: no such thing as peaceful and quiet contemplation
 
If Bono was a saint, these would be the most highly sought after holy relics when he passes (not for a looooooong time) away to the big concert stadium in the sky.

1: His shades - Bonovision
2: His hair - Baldness is not hereditary in his family, plenty of Bono-holiness to go around
3: His shoes - take these shoes, they're going my way
4: His guitars, an entreprenuering relic salesman would sell each guitar string then dismantle the guitar and sell parts of it - blasphemy!!
5: His stetson hats (I wants one)
6: A used cigar, I imagine plenty of hoaxes abounding as plenty used cigars go up for sale on ebay
7: A used beer bottle by Bono - same as above.
 
10 things you 'll hear if Bono becomes a priest

1.
"I'm sorry to inform you that we won't be having communion this morning, the wine, mysteriously, I repeat MYSTERIOUSLY disappeared. Let us contemplate this matter at the nearest place to acquire wine - the clarence hotel"

2.
"THats not incense I smell dear..................its cigar smoke........from the confessional"

3.
"Hi, I'm Father MacPhisto, what sins have you got for me today"

3.
"I acquired these horns in the ministry"

4.
"Today we will sing the Hymn no. 456 from our Hymn Books: Discotheque"

5.
"Turn it up high, captain"

I can't think of 10...to be continued.
 
Ahh, Father MacPhisto... Well, this thread is certainly very amusing. I wish I was creative enough to add on to it. Oh well.
 
"Discotheque" has a very spiritual message if you think about it.

You're looking for THE ONE (euphamism for God), but you know you're somewhere else instead...

You take what you can get, cause it's all that you can find, but you know there's something more, tonight...

Well, makes sense to me. Put it in the hymnal.
 
I've always seen that message in Disco.

It's not a trick
'Cause you can't learn it
It's the way you don't pay, that's okay
'Cause you can't earn it

Sort of describes unconditional love/grace.

and then when they'd play it live...

Love...
(You want heaven in your heart)
(Heaven in your heart)
(The sun, the moon, and the stars)

But you take what you can get
'Cause it's all that you can find
But you know there's something more
Tonight, tonight, tonight
 
Yeah, it makes me like the song a lot more, when I see it has that kind of message.
 
10 things u'll hear when Bono becomes a priest part 2

6.
"What do you think? Should I add a floating Lemon on the altar?"

7.
Placard hung outside on the church walls:
"Confessional open today, bring wine and cigars. Thanks Father Macphisto"

8.
"Imagine that, his holiness Pope MacPhisto. THe first devil to be Pope, no wait, I apologise. I'm not the first."

9.
"Celibacy, are you mad!!"

10.
"If you don't mind find me in the church, I'm a few blocks down the street down the pub. We can talk about anything there, just don't listen to my advice and anything I say. And, would you mind calling me a taxi if.....for some reason I have a wee bit too much?"
 
Shaizari said:
If Bono was Catholic, the Pope would beautify him and make him a saint. Imagine that: Saint Bono, patron of rock bands

If Bono was Eastern Orthodox, they'd make an icon (image) of him and kiss his image like Orthodox christians do to their icons. I bet he'll be a popular icon amongst female devotees??

If Bono was a flamin Pentecostal, he'd be...gasp... a mirrorball man. I have a vision....Bonovision.

If Bono was Amish, he'd make button up shirts dangerously sinful.

If Bono was a Jehovah's Witness, you'd want him to knock on your door.

If Bono was a Mormon, he would make cycling hip and cool as his shades

If Bono was a Charismatic, he'd paint himself black and make sweet gospel music....Ahmazin Grraice Bruther Mullen

If Bono was old school Anglican, he'd be the Archbishop in the Diocese of cool

If Bono...I'm running out of denominations...



If Bono was a Seventh Day Adventist he would have written, 'Saturday Bloody Saturday'. :huh:
 
Re: Re: A Bono for all denominations

Bad Templar said:




If Bono was a Seventh Day Adventist he would have written, 'Saturday Bloody Saturday'. :huh:

Argghh you took mine! Actually a lot of his songs would be altered then..."Friday night running to Sunday on my knees"...I know there's more!
 
I don't know, I'd like to think that PRIDE would either be the opening or closing hymn/song/theme music

That or 40


Or god part 2



........ or the fly............
 
Back
Top Bottom