It's Official: I'm Writing My School's Christmas Play

[LMP]

Thanks, man.

 

[phillyfan26]

The funniest school play I ever saw involved inside jokes with the school of well-known students and teachers, poking fun of all of them. I think the premise was the school's computer system (called "SASSY") takes over the entire school and runs a tyranny over it 50 years into the future. The school's most genuinely funny kid was in it, with everyone expecting him to dominate the play, but instead (in a great twist), the program killed him in the first minute, and they spent the rest of the time accidentally tripping over his dead body several times.

And about half of the characters were construction workers, nodding to the fact that our school's been under construction now for about six years.

 

[LMP]

That sounds hilarious. I'm close to making a school version of this play, and a full on my version of the play.

Kind of like an "Unrated" DVD. Just more blatant pedophilia jokes and foul language.

 

[phillyfan26]

I would like to see a copy of this upon its completion.

You need to include Dwight Schrute as the Christmas elf. Or at least have someone refuse to let a black person dress up as Santa.

 

[phillyfan26]

Reading your thing, have the commisioner pick the frozen envelope and sound like he has a cold all the time like David Stern.

I suppose there's a sort of time limit, but there's so much potential here. I love this thing.

 

[LMP]

Dwight's a Director's Cut character for sure.

I'm already stretching it too thin with Admiral Ackbar, Stephen A. Smith, and an extended Lebowski joke, which could be really hit-or-miss. A frozen envelope is a great idea, too.

There is a time limit with this, and we only get 2 shows while every other production gets 4 shows.

 

[phillyfan26]

I think you could shorten up Stephen A. and make it almost entirely Stephen A.-isms. Something including, "Quite frankly," "The bottom line is...," "cheese doodles," and "HE'S A POINT GUARD! A DAMN POINT GUARD!"

 

[LMP]

I'd love to shorten that bit and any other heavy exposition parts, but that part in particular acts as the main character introduction.

So I could go along the strictly Stephen A.-ism route or have a narrator open and close the Act I, which was used in last year's play.

Rock and a hard place.

 

[phillyfan26]

If Stephen A. is really the only introduction, then his length is fine because he's actually serving a purpose.

I'd actually love to work on a play like this, if it wasn't for the fact that I don't go to your school.

In the unrated version, I think Stephen's outrageous "HE'S A POINT GUARD!" shout would be something about the guy being Jewish in a Christmas draft.

 

[LMP]

Definitely.

I'm really excited about making fun of Leonidas from 300. All of his one-liners in that movie kill me and are about 95% funnier out of context.

If you'd like me to send you scenes as I finish them I can email them to you.

 

[phillyfan26]

"These are just my personal bodyguards."

"There's no reason why we can't be civil."

Good stuff.

How much have you gotten done so far?

 

[LMP]

The first draft of Act 1 is done on notebook paper, I need to fine-tune and format it.

Act 2 is still a thorough outline, I'll probably finish that by next month if my schoolwork load doesn't increase drastically.

 

[phillyfan26]

It sounds like a good thing you've got going. If you need any ideas or constructive criticism, feel free to send me an e-mail at forthewin827@yahoo .com .

 

[LMP]

Thanks, I'll be sure to take you up on that.

 

[LMP]

I finished the first draft if anyone's interested in reading it.

 

[phillyfan26]

I'd love to.

I've always partially wanted to write a play or screenplay, though I've never had a good solid subject to do it on.

ETA: Just noticed it in my inbox.

 

[LMP]

Forgot to respond all the way to your reply: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

It got accepted so I'm pretty excited.

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

That's great news LMP.

 

[Galeongirl]

so when can we get tickets to watch it?

 

[LMP]

Auditions went on yesterday and the cast list was up today. I'm fairly excited... except Chanukah Harry was cast as a girl.

That fucking bothered me. Oh well, if she's good it won't matter.

 

[LMP]

It's really official, the last 2 rehearsals are today and tomorrow and the show is next Monday and Tuesday.

The run the other night was nearly perfect, I'm really excited.

I may try and tape it and post it somewhere where you guys can see. Hopefully that works.

 

[Sicy]

:toomanywordsforIO:

 

[LemonMelon]

whp555444@yahoo.com

Email the script to me. It's entirely likely that there will be an hour or two when I have nothing to do. Maybe six.

 

[Galeongirl]

youtube!

 

[phillyfan26]

It's really official, the last 2 rehearsals are today and tomorrow and the show is next Monday and Tuesday.

The run the other night was nearly perfect, I'm really excited.

I may try and tape it and post it somewhere where you guys can see. Hopefully that works.

Do that.

Has the script been edited at all from the copy I read?

 

[LMP]

Do that.

Has the script been edited at all from the copy I read?

Slighty. Some lines were tweaked here and there and staging, but not much.

A line referencing 4/20 was cut, which really sucked. But after the first time there's a Coldplay joke, "Fix You" is the music segue into the next scene. Fucking Chris Martin.

Yeah, I'll send it in a few LM.

 

[LemonMelon]

Yeah, I'll send it in a few LM.

Got it.

This totally reminds me of when Elaine Benes started writing a Murphy Brown. Hopefully it'll be better than that though.

 

[phillyfan26]

Oh yeah, and then Kramer played the secretary and typed at unbelievable speeds without looking. Good times.

Yeah, YouTube that shit LMP. That'll be a treat.

 

[LMP]

I'll try.

 

[No spoken words]

I'll try.

No. Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try.