Work in progress...

[Alisaura]

Don't you love it when an idea/image that's been kicking around in your head for years stops defying all attempts to draw it out in words, and just goes blop onto the page? (especially when it chooses to do this at 1:10am *just* after you've put the lights out and want to go to sleep...)

Again, it will be tweaked...
The Alison Department of Literature wishes to advise that this poem is yet to be classified.

Blown Away

She stands aloft
The night is as dark as her eyes.
Clouds cloak the moon and the stars,
A feeling is rising inside.

The air is heavy, wind whispers
Across her trembling skin;
She raises her arms to the heavens,
Something is growing within.

Her clothing is whipping around her
A gale streams through her black hair,
She knows she no longer controls it
But she knows that she's nearly there.

Far ahead a fork of lightning
Stabs through the glowering sky,
Howling wind takes the thunder towards her
Soon she is going to fly.

The sound hits her
With a roar as bright as the day,
She soars on the storm, her self left behind her,
The thunder has blown her away.
No regrets, flying free, blown away.

(The last verse needs work... I had the last two as alternative last lines but decided to chuck them both in... 3rd line, last stanza is awkward too... help? Suggestions are most welcome!)

 

[The Wanderer]

Alisaura,

don't be so critical of yourself, this is good, the imagery is dynamic and vivid . . . I love the first 3 stanzas although I'm not sure if "glowering" is a word? but hey, that's why there's poet license! if anything, concentrate on the beginning of the final stanza . . . think of a more descriptive first line . . . but that's just me, nevermind me, it doesn't really need much revising at all

 

[Alisaura]

Thanks Wanderer.

I guess I'm always way more critical of my own stuff than I should be... I appreciate your thoughts!