two birds flying from a cage during a hurricane - U2 Feedback

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Old 10-12-2005, 03:26 PM   #1
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two birds flying from a cage during a hurricane

the world was beautiful
so calm, through the eye of the storm,
morning light appearing
after the coldest of winter nights during these times of darkness;
the decay was evident, bent round the glossy slip and slide of a flower-vase turned into a wine-jar.
skewed and lengthened, fattened and twisted.
the clarity in the center beating crimson like a heartbeat,
skinny-skipping through the caffeine glue of midnight madness, awakened by the dripping of cold sweat from saline dreams.
and by the table the wilting flowers fall silent to the floor, water cascading after them,
broken glass
cuts up your slippered feet as you wander through your waking dream,
but the world was beautiful and you knew it.
the past mistakes that everyone makes fade from view as oceans blue collect sand for pleasure.
buried treasure, dusty and uncovered,
the world behind the eyes of green
with reflected blue.
without perfection; darkened; distant; and set apart.
to be beautiful separately.
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Old 10-12-2005, 04:54 PM   #2
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^nice

A new beginning lays before us all.....
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Old 10-14-2005, 10:25 PM   #3
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Very well written.

carol
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Old 10-17-2005, 02:37 AM   #4
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love it. repeat readings only enhance the work. I'm going to highlight one line in particular that I think is just fantastic:

"the decay was evident, bent round the glossy slip and slide of a flower-vase turned into a wine-jar."

that's great fucking writing, a line you know hasn't been written before by anyone.

thank you
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Old 10-17-2005, 02:01 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by lazarus
thank you
You're welcome. It's a line that my mind could only come up with sitting in downtown Seattle, half asleep at 2 a.m. eating McDonald's french-fries after leaving my girlfriend's apartment (but before returning to my car).
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