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Old 06-06-2002, 01:05 AM   #1
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this is just to say

dearest love,

i have a secret
bible in a box
cannot worry
of such things
where to unlock
a touch here
a whisper there
the ice pick
from the freezer?
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Old 06-07-2002, 09:51 AM   #2
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this one is really above my level of understanding, but my immediate reaction is that it seems chilling, it makes me think of a double personality like when you hear about criminals that seem to love someone so deeply and then are able to murder them in complete cold blood. the secret, the touch/whisper, and the ice pick made this come to my mind, I don't know that is just my scary take on it.
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Old 06-07-2002, 07:59 PM   #3
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Beautiful, and frightening. Sounds like Climbing Up the Walls.
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Old 06-07-2002, 10:51 PM   #4
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chilling all right...
Wanderer, I've read a few of yours just recently, and since I was here regularly last I think you may have moved into a realm beyond my comprehension... I love your poems but I guess I haven't been there (yet).
Or maybe this &*@$ing job has just sucked the soul out of me. One or the other.
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Old 06-08-2002, 12:01 AM   #5
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I'm not sure what to make of these comments...

so I've gone beyond comprehension?? well then, if you don't know what they're doing, babe it must be art! but seriously, I've been trying to be more cryptic, that's where I'm trying to go with things right now, it also seems to be having this effect where the words seem colder and more perverse to the reader, interesting phenomenon...

thanks for reading, your comments are very important to me, since I don't show many people my poems, thus not generating much feedback on what I need to do in order to be more provocative
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Old 06-08-2002, 12:41 AM   #6
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I seriously like this poem. You have a very distinct style.

You don't show many people your stuff, either? I think outside of this and a few friends not many people see my stuff.
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Old 06-08-2002, 03:05 AM   #7
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I still like it! I like being confused

And just beyond *my* comprehension, Wanderer, which may not be saying much

Any time mate!
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Old 06-08-2002, 01:28 PM   #8
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I second what Ali said, your poem is not beyond comprehension, it's beyond my comprehension (which I am quite used to I might add )
but I like it, one thing that bores me to death is poetry that is too easy to understand (alas this is my writing )
the abstractness of this stuff does have a cold quality, and the more abstract, the less human and therefore I guess the scarier things seem. if that makes sense. sorry for pulling your poem apart too btw, I was just thinking it thru to myself. but anyways...I did not mean that in a negative way

Ali, you and I can be confused together lol
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Old 06-11-2002, 02:18 AM   #9
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I have to agree that after reading your writing for nearly 2 years now, you definitely are moving to a place that isn't as clear for the readers. I've been thinking it for a while.
But i think its exciting and means that you are moving yourself in different places and allowing the reader to make more efforts into what they see the poem is about. You're making us think and that's a rare talent and many writers won't stretch themselves to achieve that.
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Old 06-11-2002, 07:55 PM   #10
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Ouch! Fabulously chilling.
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Old 06-11-2002, 10:21 PM   #11
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The think I like about these types of poems is that they are open to interpretation. There is an ultimate interpretation of course...one of the writer, but often it would be very hard for us to nail it down.

[/i]My dearest love

I have a secret
bible in a box[/i]

I see this as having some knowledge which is truely wonderful and beneficial but having it sealed away.
Then going about the process of trying to let out this "secret" without hurting yourself or the other person.

This is how I see it because if I see it this way it relates to my life.
I really love this girl but I was always too afraid to tell her. The only ways i could manage to try was to look in her eyes a certain way, drop hints in between the lines, etc.

Thats why we listen to music or read poems for the most part is it not?
To find something to relate to?
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Old 06-14-2002, 09:12 AM   #12
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Well, this is one of your clearer poems, to me.

"secret bible in a box" - is interesting. Why say 'secret' when it is already in a box? Perhaps the box isn't literal. Perhaps the box is something that is limiting an interpretation or power of some truth.

I like how this idea is faintly echoed in the other "box" (refrigerator). Ice pick in freezer = secret in a box?

Sometimes I read too much into a poem...

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Old 06-15-2002, 12:11 AM   #13
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cool replies, thanks guys!
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Old 06-16-2002, 07:03 PM   #14
 
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