They talk of “you”

[ZeroDude]

If I'm to be honest I'm in an extremely pissed off mood, of course though it's the type of general dejection that I'm not willing to show.










They talk of “you”
As if they know
That “you” are but
A word we throw,
Throughout
Our verse to satisfy
Our blatant lust
For fervent lies,

And as it stands
Pretension reigns
Taking note of
Those who feign,
Emotive trust
And conscious woe
With bitter haste
Retraced to show,

That “you” are but
An empty thought
Devoid of wit and
Tension fraught,
With languid truth
And placid prayer
Devised to sate
Our wayward fare.

 

[VertigoGal]

really good. more direct but I like that...short phrases can be very effective & don't take away from the meaning.

Emotive trust
And conscious woe
With bitter haste
Retraced to show

dunno if they're the best lines, but I can relate to that.

 

[ZeroDude]

^
Yes but I've got a shit load of technical skill so I hate writing something that you don’t have to work for and work with to realise it’s true intention and sentiment.

In my opinion when one writes something relatively poorly rehashing hackneyed phrases and asinine assonance as if it’s going out of fashion they're more likely to get a reaction with all the oh so profound reactions akin to this:

"Oh my God it's beautiful, I can like totally relate to that.”

No one is ever going to say this in relation to one of my complex yet concise works:

“Brilliant, not only have you managed to implement some fantastic metaphors but you’ve also managed to practically write a thesis on human nature with only twelve lines!”


My bitterness keeps me moving and I mean no offence to anyone so I’ll leave it at that.

Great style needs substance.

 

[VertigoGal]

well I'll agree with your last line, but I guess you have to reconcile the two.

I will say that I think it's more important to start with substance than the other way around though...

 

[ZeroDude]

They're one in the same.

One cannot truely exist without the other no matter with how much eloquence one can articulate their contrived banter.

 

[For Honor]

I always find it interesting - the way people desire or expect others to react to their artworks.

I wonder, ZD, who do you write for?

 

[ZeroDude]

You know that clichéd shite about the artist’s longing to be needed. Well that’s there for me but at the same time it’s more to do with the fact that I feel as If I’ve something to share and I’m sure that you’d hate to be ignored yourself.

There’s no expectation only suggestion. How pathetic I sometimes appear to be is only a reflection of us all.

 

[VertigoGal]

They're one in the same.

One cannot truely exist without the other no matter with how much eloquence one can articulate their contrived banter.

I dunno...sometimes I feel like I have substance or an emotion but not the style to express it in a way that doesn't come of as self-pity or whining.

Although if I'm honest about it maybe the idea (substance) itself is "contrived banter" which is why I can't achieve style. who knows.

 

[For Honor]

So, who do you write for?

 

[ZeroDude]

^
Myself.

If I didn't write as much as I do I wouldn't be the same person so yes I write for myself.

And VG to me at least they're inseparable.

 

[VertigoGal]

well this is all very interesting, now I command you go get some sleep will

 

[ZeroDude]

well this is all very interesting, now I command you go get some sleep will

It's only ten past three,



When I write about writing I always seem pretentious and somewhat morbid.

I'm an awfully conceited bastard.

 

[VertigoGal]

but you have your ways

no seriously...writing about writing, there's no way not to come off pretentious. I would say just don't think about it...but that's been my strategy for the past 6 months or so and it evidently hasn't helped my skills much

 

[ZeroDude]

My skills don't need helped though.



And Jesse (FH) before I go off to the land of nod was my answer satisfactory?

 

[VertigoGal]

good night you conceited bastard.

 

[VertigoGal]

<debating whether to add a

 

[ZeroDude]

This is the first time anything here has seemed like a chat thread.

Damn.



G' night all.

 

[VertigoGal]

yeah, look what I've done.

good night z dude.

 

[For Honor]

My skills don't need helped though.



And Jesse (FH) before I go off to the land of nod was my answer satisfactory?

For me? sure. If that's your response to my question, then that's all I can really ask for.

 

[UberBeaver]

Brilliant, not only have you managed to implement some fantastic metaphors but you’ve also managed to practically write a thesis on human nature with only twelve lines. Good job.

 

[ZeroDude]

Brilliant, not only have you managed to implement some fantastic metaphors but you’ve also managed to practically write a thesis on human nature with only twelve lines. Good job.

Bitchin'