***The Diary Of 16 Year Old "Elizabeth"****
Dear Diary,
Surprise, surprise! I was at my locker today after lunch, and Kim asked me to go to Fat Lady's Beach with her! OUR beach! We haven't been there in a long time. Being that it is fall and growing cold out, I figured nobody else would be there...maybe it would even be too cold to swim...but we would try...
After school, I went home to change into my suit and grab a beach towel. I drove to the beach, and what do I see?
Kim...with Tom...
She didn't tell me Tom was going...I was pissed off beyond belief...but I wanted to be mature about it. I said hi to both of them, and Tom answered me in this stupid gibberish that makes no sense. Kim giggled at him, and they began to make out while I stood there like a moron.
"Come on, Kim...let's get in the water!" I said.
Tom frowned and said, "The sky is gray...the water is cold...stay here..." and continued to kiss Kim. Kim said nothing...she acted as if I was invisible...
Fuck you, I thought...fuck you both...
"I'm going swimming," I had announced...not that anybody heard.
I threw my towel on the sand and ran into the water. It didn't even matter that the water was freezing...my body was already numb.
As I continued running running into the water until my feet no longer were touching bottom, I was hit with the harsh realization that was colder than any wave could possibly be: I'd lost my best friend.
I'd never had a boyfriend. The closest relationship I have ever been in was with Kim. And Tom took her away from me...he took my best friend...
I wanted to get as far away from them as possible...I kept swimming out farther.
When my body grew tired, I rested and just kept my head above water. I spun around to look back at them on the beach. They were two specks now...lying in the sand, kissing, oblivious that my teary eyes were drinking in their moment of passion. They were two specks...I was a speck as well...an insignificant speck...
I had forgotten about the gray skies momentarily until I saw the lightning and heard the thunder. Then the downpour began...the waves kicked up...
I realized I had to get back to shore. My arms were already so tired and sore...as I raised my right arm to take my first stroke back to shore, it felt as though it was made of lead.
Then the waves began their assault.
The first one crashed over my head...it pushed me down...I could resurface for only a second or two before it would happen again...I'd be above the surface long enough to see Kim and Tom, those two specks becoming one on the beach...
"Help me, goddammit!"...another wave broke my cry.
The next time I fought my way to the surface, I saw Kim and Tom...this time getting into Kim's van...
"No, Kim!"...another wave broke my cry.
When I resurfaced again, she was gone...with HIM...
Another wave...
I don't know how I did it, but I managed to fight my way back to shore. I laid on the sand for about a half hour...wondering why Kim and Tom left me...wondering HOW they could have just left me. I thought about something else as well:
Water almost murdered me.
The stuff I drink everyday...the stuff that humans need to live...it almost killed me...
Part of me wishes it would have...or that I would have let it...that I would have let it drown me.
Drowning. To me, it always seemed like a painful way to die...I wouldn't want to die suffocating. I heard that it is actually painless though...they say that your lungs fill up with water so fast that it doesn't take very long at all to die. I don't want it to hurt when I die though...I am so weak...I'm a coward...
That is another thing I find funny. They say that suicide is the coward's way out of life. Yet...I find myself to be too big of a coward to go through with it...I feel as though I am not strong enough to commit suicide.
Isn't that funny?
Goodnight, Diary.
"Elizabeth"
------------------
Trust In God...But Lock Your Doors
[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 09-28-2001).]
Dear Diary,
Surprise, surprise! I was at my locker today after lunch, and Kim asked me to go to Fat Lady's Beach with her! OUR beach! We haven't been there in a long time. Being that it is fall and growing cold out, I figured nobody else would be there...maybe it would even be too cold to swim...but we would try...
After school, I went home to change into my suit and grab a beach towel. I drove to the beach, and what do I see?
Kim...with Tom...
She didn't tell me Tom was going...I was pissed off beyond belief...but I wanted to be mature about it. I said hi to both of them, and Tom answered me in this stupid gibberish that makes no sense. Kim giggled at him, and they began to make out while I stood there like a moron.
"Come on, Kim...let's get in the water!" I said.
Tom frowned and said, "The sky is gray...the water is cold...stay here..." and continued to kiss Kim. Kim said nothing...she acted as if I was invisible...
Fuck you, I thought...fuck you both...
"I'm going swimming," I had announced...not that anybody heard.
I threw my towel on the sand and ran into the water. It didn't even matter that the water was freezing...my body was already numb.
As I continued running running into the water until my feet no longer were touching bottom, I was hit with the harsh realization that was colder than any wave could possibly be: I'd lost my best friend.
I'd never had a boyfriend. The closest relationship I have ever been in was with Kim. And Tom took her away from me...he took my best friend...
I wanted to get as far away from them as possible...I kept swimming out farther.
When my body grew tired, I rested and just kept my head above water. I spun around to look back at them on the beach. They were two specks now...lying in the sand, kissing, oblivious that my teary eyes were drinking in their moment of passion. They were two specks...I was a speck as well...an insignificant speck...
I had forgotten about the gray skies momentarily until I saw the lightning and heard the thunder. Then the downpour began...the waves kicked up...
I realized I had to get back to shore. My arms were already so tired and sore...as I raised my right arm to take my first stroke back to shore, it felt as though it was made of lead.
Then the waves began their assault.
The first one crashed over my head...it pushed me down...I could resurface for only a second or two before it would happen again...I'd be above the surface long enough to see Kim and Tom, those two specks becoming one on the beach...
"Help me, goddammit!"...another wave broke my cry.
The next time I fought my way to the surface, I saw Kim and Tom...this time getting into Kim's van...
"No, Kim!"...another wave broke my cry.
When I resurfaced again, she was gone...with HIM...
Another wave...
I don't know how I did it, but I managed to fight my way back to shore. I laid on the sand for about a half hour...wondering why Kim and Tom left me...wondering HOW they could have just left me. I thought about something else as well:
Water almost murdered me.
The stuff I drink everyday...the stuff that humans need to live...it almost killed me...
Part of me wishes it would have...or that I would have let it...that I would have let it drown me.
Drowning. To me, it always seemed like a painful way to die...I wouldn't want to die suffocating. I heard that it is actually painless though...they say that your lungs fill up with water so fast that it doesn't take very long at all to die. I don't want it to hurt when I die though...I am so weak...I'm a coward...
That is another thing I find funny. They say that suicide is the coward's way out of life. Yet...I find myself to be too big of a coward to go through with it...I feel as though I am not strong enough to commit suicide.
Isn't that funny?
Goodnight, Diary.
"Elizabeth"
------------------
Trust In God...But Lock Your Doors
[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 09-28-2001).]
