silence of the morning drive

[BabyGrace]

and so the days pass on
in a timeless circle I'll never accept
yet there's nothing that I would regret
maniacal laughter hit me high
wind-broken on a sigh...

I speed along, frozen in the hush
inverted twilight hours before the frigid rush
crashing with each day I'm more alive
daring myself to take the dive
might I surface on the other side?

entranced by the falling leaves
bewitching in their brilliant grace
before they swirl in my passing wake
to come to rest, naked and veinless
alongside their gutted, abandoned fellows

murderous mysteries
pull me ever further in
seeking the blind touch
am I allowed to say my heart is tired?
or must I sing this song thus wired...

still trying to twist out of the lie
we'd built girders of steel to caress the sky
but held within,
a thousand sparks of life and love
truth and blood
now smeared in oblivion upon the pavement blacker still

a startled mourning dove darts out of my way
I catch my breath before it is too late
killing people a world away
just by being
with each delicate stab through my heart
growing ever more painful
I can't help but feel how alive I am.
~~~~~
here's a mess of a poem if you ever saw one, and im too tired to bother reworking it. plus i kinda like it the mess it is..

i wrote one a lot simpler and very similar, some lines are the same in fact, altho i think i like this one better. maybe i'll post it too in this thread in a bit..

------------------
but for the grace of love I'd will the meaning of heaven from above...

 

[ACROB@T]

A poem doesn't need to have perfect structure or perfect flow to grab someones attention, this one for all your tiny critisms was still a really enjoyable read..I related to a lot of the content..look forward to the alternative lyrics version

 

[zooropamanda]

still trying to twist out of the lie
we'd built girders of steel to caress the sky
but held within,
a thousand sparks of life and love
truth and blood
now smeared in oblivion upon the pavement blacker still

where does this stuff come from?!
amazing as always

 

[foray]

I like the title

foray

 

[scatteroflight]

Originally posted by BabyGrace:


still trying to twist out of the lie
we'd built girders of steel to caress the sky
but held within,
a thousand sparks of life and love
truth and blood
now smeared in oblivion upon the pavement blacker still

a startled mourning dove darts out of my way
I catch my breath before it is too late
killing people a world away
just by being
with each delicate stab through my heart
growing ever more painful
I can't help but feel how alive I am.

I like the title too!

------------------
You've got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

 

[BabyGrace]

haha actually that wasnt a title..i couldnt think of one so i just wrote that because I love that time in the morning, alone and peaceful, watching the sun come up as I drive home from practice. it's especially pretty right now, with all the fall colours and the leaves swirling around on the road. although it has a kind of sad, mournful feel to it..that end of summer feeling..which leads my overactive brain to mull over everything that's on my mind.
this poem was a result of that. and yes, Acro I like it without structure because that's the way my emotions feet..like a mess.

anyway, thanks to you all

------------------
but for the grace of love I'd will the meaning of heaven from above...

 

[The Wanderer]

it's certainly not a "mess" and I love how it ends

it's funny you mentioned that bit about having a similar version, much of what I write has been altered significantly by the time i bother to put it here (DOL, that is), i have a great difficutly just simply copying something I've written straight to here, I almost always end up altering things about it, and not just occasional words