Shaping my behaviour

[For Honor]

(I tried looking everywhere for that old writing of mine, about the guys sitting around the table talking about love, but me on the outside only being able to hear, and not participate in the discussion yet. Anyhow, I can't find it, probably because of the haste and celerity of my search, so I wanted to write this before I forgot)




Shaping my behaviour
(Love Reinforcerment)



You do realize, don't you?
What this is all doing to me
What I see, what I feel, what it makes me want
I don't ever want to make a mistake

You tell me to look around, have fun, act young
But I can't, I don't want to. It's my destiny, look it up.
Still... It makes me want it so much
So incredibly much

And I'm worried...
It's not right to want something so grand...

I know I'll be good, but maybe too good
Too considerate, too caring. To sweet for someone
But I am forced to see... .... all that my teachers reveal.
All the things I am shown, to see what they do wrong, to see their faults

They come to me to compare notes, to go over what is right
And what is not
And I am left with expectations.
I am not afraid of failure, but there is doubt in my mind of success

I am not even surprised anymore, and my emotions become detached
Yet my heart... it longs...
It longs for honor, for it all.

But I realize I... I'll need someone to take care of me
Who can accept what I want, what I need to give.
Who can return what I need....
And I fear of following in my father's footsteps.

But hopefully I have learned
From all their mistakes, everyone of them...
I hope I know enough, am wise enough, and strong enough
And most of all

I hope I didn't learn too well




I know my destiny, and the choices I will have to make

======================================


I realize.... I have to wonder about.... who will really be able to give me what I want......

I hope I don't get too .... shaped.... into finding that there is no one who can

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Try being a wizard..............the only people who understand wizards are other wizards and well......wizards communicate in a way most of mankind does not quite understand yet.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

I realize now, though that........


It's all just training. It's just a lesson. I have such a great example here before me.

I'm always going to have a more serious approach to live, that's me. So I might as well embrace that, and do what "we" do best, keep "our" eyes on the prize.

Don't ever forget.
Don't ever loose sight.....

Just remember.

And "begin each day as if it were on purpose"
because........ it is


this is your life
make it your life