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Old 07-25-2005, 06:13 PM   #1
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"Rain Cloud"

My first poem in a while... I'd appreciate any feedback... I'm an aspiring writer and I just want to know if I'm good enough:


Life passes like a gray cloud
Never knowing when to expect the rain
Never to knowing if things will be the same
But somehow...
We never know how to change

My head aches and it just won't pass
Relationships that mean so much
Never meant to last
Memories never to reconcile
We've touched happiness
That we've lost as a child

The future looks black
When all I can do
Is look back...
Look back at you

Never know how to accept it
Deny or refuse it
It's hard to love again
When you know it'll never be the same
As it once was...
With you
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Old 07-25-2005, 07:23 PM   #2
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Keep writing....for you have done well.

"Relationships that mean so much
Never meant to last"

As a wizard, I understand and accept that through life's journey there will be relationships (friendships) and a time when that portion of the journey must end so must the relationship (or friendship).....but the memory will live forever in my heart.

carol
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Old 07-25-2005, 08:42 PM   #3
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You'll do well enough... I know that poem has meaning to me...

Very common, strong themes of love, childhood happiness, etc. It is a safe poem, and a good one.
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Old 07-25-2005, 08:43 PM   #4
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It......... makes me worry about losing a true love...........
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