Please be gentle with your crticism...

[pop_mofo]

Alright, I would like your opinion on my work. Please be gentle with me. I am not a poet, just someone who tries to write poetry.

My Sunshine

And I just let you go
Time came to release
The moment when you walked out
The moment when I lost peace

I lost a piece
A piece of you in me
What it was we shared
And what set us free

Oh, the sunshine
My Sunshine
Nighttime
It's so very dark

It just took a second
A fraction of a moment
You left forever
I didn't know it
would be forever

Oh, the sunshine
My Sunshine
Nighttime
It's so very dark

Need the touch of a hand
A healing hand to take
Take what I have left
For God's sake,
Heal me

 

[Achtung_Bebe]

I think you're quite a wonderful poet--very nicely done... you must share more in the future

 

[The Wanderer]

I liked it, now surely you have more to show us?

------------------
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart---
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

-Sylvia Plath

 

[Bonochick]

Loved it. To me, it seems eloquently raw...if that makes sense...maybe those aren't the right words to describe it, but that is what came into my head.

------------------
Trust In God...But Lock Your Doors

 

[pop_mofo]

Not the criticism I expected

Thanks all for your kind words, it makes me feel good that you all enjoyed it. I wil definitely be posting more.

Peace on Earth.