open ended

[The Wanderer]

if I told you to swim
could you be a swan?

if the world were a pyramid
and I were a stream of light
would my colours ever be seen?

if I shot myself full of holes
and I wrote a note
would my words live?

if immortality was a stone
in the hands of David...

 

[zooropamanda]

Originally posted by The Wanderer:
if the world were a pyramid
and I were a stream of light
would my colours ever be seen?

if I shot myself full of holes
and I wrote a note
would my words live?

the way you write has always amazed me

 

[Salome]

beautiful

 

[Bacchus]

:

if immortality was a stone
in the hands of David...

...Angels would fall


------------------
The heart that is soonest awake to the flowers is always the first to be touched by the thorns.
Thomas Moore, 1779?1852

 

[scatteroflight]

Originally posted by The Wanderer:


if immortality was a stone
in the hands of David...

That is gorgeous. Really beautiful.

This is not a quibble, but a question. Who is David? Are you thinking of Michelangelo's David? I thought at first that you were thinking of immortality in the hands of the sculptor, who was Michelangelo, while David was the sculpture. Or is it the slingshot stone in the hands of David when confronting Goliath? Or am I really confused?

I love this poem. It's my favourite that I've read by you.

 

[The Wanderer]

 

[BabyGrace]

me too, ZooManda

I feel bad because I don't know what to say about your poetry, but if it means anything to you, it always makes me stop, think and feel and, imho that is the sole purpose of a poem

thank you

 

[UpwiththeSun]

Wanderer, I love it when you make me think! All this talk about David reminded me of a series of poems I wrote a while back. I am posting the first one today.

------------------
"I wonder what's gonna happen to you.
You wonder what has happened to me"

 

[BabyGrace]

the beauty of a well-written poem

 

[foray]

if the world were a pyramid
and I were a stream of light
would my colours ever be seen?

if I shot myself full of holes
and I wrote a note
would my words live?

I sure hope so.

Very well done, Wanderer. I especially liked the last three verses. I may come back another time to say more...

foray

 

[Bill the Butcher]

Why have a title "open ended" when it is relative to calling your work an "open work". Isn't it for the reader, not the author, to determine if a work is open?

~rougerum

 

[The Wanderer]

open ended in the sense of being

your life is open ended, existence is open ended, it was a not a suggestion on how to perceive the last verse... it was not even the title of the poem, I put quotations around my titles