on life, love, and living in peace...

[bicyclingfish]

on life, love, and living in peace.

Friends, and all of you are friends, the news I have for you all. There are things that I have seen and done, words that I have heard and spoke, places that I've went and explored...

There was a time when the world seemed so confusing to me. Events that shook my very soul, people who rocked my entire universe... all those things are so close to me now, and I want to tell you about them all.

I have stood on top the highest mountain in the Rockies and seen the deepest valley of the Mississippi... I have held the hands of whites and blacks, of rich and poor, of the educated and the ignorant, of the alive and the dead... I have wanted and waited and lusted after and withheld... all the while thinking of you, my friends, my family.

I cannot feel your skin, I cannot watch your lips, I cannot see your expressions or even hold your hand. I am a dreamer, and you are my dreams. You are my heart and my soul. You are a hundred thousand lonely nights and a million long days of work and imprisonment, of construction and restriction, of happiness and of hurt...

I watched a bird build its nest of leaf, twig, string, and the sinue of a dead animal. Of all of these, I liken you to the sinue. I do not know your life, I do not know your dreams, I do not know your world. However, I do know that you have changed me world, you have changed my dreams, you have changed my life simply by being alive.

I come to you tonight to write for this place, in this time, and to you people. I write that there is nothing within these walls to confine me any longer. Now I must stand up, speak out, hold up and hand out who I really am and I what I really want to do.

I want to see the face of God.

I want to feel the love of humanity.

I want to dream the dreams of a thousand lost dreams.

I want to touch the face of eternity.

I want to walk in contemplation of all things, understand all ways, know every thing...

This is what I understand on life: all things are alive. All of life is experience. All experience is God. God is love.

This is what I understand of love: all things are love. The earth, the people, the animals, all of the universe is love. There is nothing that exists without love, there is nothing that wants other than love, and although we may not be able to see or understand what that love is, it is.

Love is all things in all ways. Always.

This is what I understand of living in peace: peace is within. It is within me and it is within you. It is within the tornado and it is within the earthquake. Peace is within the nonviolent as it is within the killer.

Our lives are for us to experience the life, love, and peace of the universe, of God, of eternity.

Taste then, touch as you may, and feel what you will as you journey throughout your life and your universe. Know always- in all ways- that the life, the love, and the peace is within you, surrounds you, and goes through you, for ever and forever.

Always, and in all ways, I am in sincere gratitude for your understanding, patience and acceptance.

[This message has been edited by bicyclingfish (edited 10-28-2000).]

 

[bicyclingfish]

Take what you do, know what you do, and trust forever that the words that you speak, the words that you write, are the words of eternity.

We are ripples in a pool of water; dunes on the shifting beach; rings in a tree's growth. We are the markers of a society of expression; our graffiti is our tongue.

Live forever with the wisdom of the ages: embrace it instead of denying it, instead of now, when we mock it instead of revering it. Experience is our bondage as humans, for none of us can retreat from it. Hear the words of the man sitting next to you, feel the heart of the woman on the bus, touch the hand of the next small child you can, and know God.

God is experience.

God is everyone.

Everyone experiences.

Everyone is God.

When I see you, I have seen the face of God. When I feel love for you, I feel the love of humanity. When I know your dreams, I can dream the dreams of a thousand lost dreams. When I touch you, I touch the face of eternity.

[This message has been edited by bicyclingfish (edited 10-28-2000).]

 

[bicyclingfish]

I have never understood cosmos, but today all is clear to me. The sun rises behind even the grey-est of days; the moon forever glows on some part of the galaxy.

There is always that which is; in the face of that which is, there is always that which isn't. Therefore, all that always was never has been; and all that has never been will forever be.

I have held in my hand a map and a compass. I used them, for a brief while, to travel. With them I would navigate highways and byways, trails and paths. I would circumnavigate the entire known universe searching and wanting and waiting and knowing, forever knowing. I knew that whatever came around the corner would be on my map, and that there would be no surprises, no misguidance, no chances. I was safe and secure.

One day I lost the map. Then, the compass broke. For a while I walked aimlessly, wandering through old, familiar territory, seeing regular, understandable sights. After a while I tired of the norm and yearned for newness. So I picked up a rock, threw it up in the air, and watched it land. In that direction I headed.

When I became hungry, I sought after food. There were always berries and grasses, grubs and catepillars. When I wanted to rest, I found shelter. Where ever I looked I found a nook or a crevice. When I felt alone, there was company. A vagrant fellow or a humble preacher always had an ear to lend.

One day, I came to the end of the universe. I couldn't believe that there was such a thing, but I found it! I stood on the top of a very tall building, so tall in fact that the bottom could not be seen, that there were clouds all around.

I heard the songs of ancient Indian tribes echo throughout the air, and they sunk inside of me. Then there were bag pipes, merciless in their volume, blaring into my ears, shaking my soul. After that I heard a gospel choir, and a song about colours bleeding into one...

Suddenly, there was a man standing next to me. He wore a black longcoat, and in my hand there was bottled water. I drank the water, and then drank some more. Without hesitation I announced to this stranger that I had an unquenchable thirst, and without missing a beat he smiled, lifted his arm, and directed me to look behind.

There were, from nowhere, waterfalls and billowing robes. Fat babies and voluptuous women, statuesque men and noble elders, all the people were perfect. As I watched their hair flow and heard their wisdom speak, my eyes grew sore and my head heavy. I fell asleep.

When I awoke I stood in a park, barefooted on a January day. There was a drizzle and the wind was cold. My hands were dry, my lips were chapped, my hair was natted and my clothes were torn. But suddenly none of that mattered.

Now I was with friends. I looked around me and saw another man dressed identically to me. I walked up to him and greeted him like I do my brother. We embraced, and then I walked on.

I saw a man in a robe on top of a hill, preaching to noone. I stood there in front of him to be his crowd, and he spoke to me. He told me "You're poor! Good job! That means that the whole world's yours because you owe yourself to NOONE! Wohoo!".

The man went on for hours. I listened carefully, and when he was done I kept walking.

Today I walked into this room, and now I've told you my story. Thank you for reading it.

 

[bicyclingfish]

I am not the wisest of men, nor am I the most ignorant. There were many times in my life when I sat without understanding, and there were a number of times when I ran from what I knew.

I stand in front of you now, stripping away these clothes from my body. They are worn, shredded, tired clothes that I don't need anymore.

What was once my jacket, I will recreate it into a small blanket. This blanket I will give to my sister so that she may wrap her newborn baby with it.

What were once my trousers, I will recreate into a ridiculous hat. This hat I will place on the head of the statue downtown, a noble man with a head held high, so that people will not view him with such regard.

I just gave my shirt to a man on the street, a man who looks less fortunate than I am. I hope that he will use this shirt as best as he can.

These boots aren't mine, and I will give them back to my brother.

When I stand naked, I will search no longer for shelter. I will wander no more. I will hunger or want or need any thing anymore.

I will stand before no person and ask them for anything ever again. Now I stand as a barren tree before the winter, merely waiting for the inevitable winter. If I survive the cold, if I endure the chill, please know then that I have found what I am looking for:

I have found life.

I have found love.

I have lived in peace.

These are all that I am wanting, all that I desire. I pray today that the eternity that is within me, the truth that dwells upon this earth, will fill me, sustain me, withhold nothing from me, and relieve me from all that I worry about, all that I lust for, and all that I hurt because of.

Take these hands and make them till the soil. Take these feet and let them walk the earth and all that lies beyond. Take my imagination and give me new ground, new understanding which to ponder now.

I embrace all that is within me, around me, throughout me, and upon me now. Always, and in all ways.

[This message has been edited by bicyclingfish (edited 10-29-2000).]

 

[bicyclingfish]

There was an aching pain within me for a long time. It came out through my talks with other people, through my writings, through my actions. I was a slightly jaded and cynical character who felt charged with changing the world, but slighted by a world that couldn't care less.

I struggled for a long time to see the effect and outcomes of the work that I did, the journeys that I travelled, the path that I laid. Oftentimes I would feel fraught with pain or disbelief that an idea or inspiration that I'd had would never work out.

Today I stand before you a humbled man, a quieter creature. I have been hurt, I have been helped, I have been wounded and I have been cured. Today I come to you to ask for the cure, to ask for the answer.

What is it?

What is it that calms your soul, soothes your headaches, eases your nerves?

What is it that lets you sleep so easy on comfortable beds with full stomachs late into the day?

What is it that rests your beating heart?

I have found the answer, and that answer is mine. I don't think that anyone else can use it, feel it, taste it or believe it. I think that you'd have to be me in order to feel the way I feel.

SO... you've read this entire piece now, and you know what I know, see what I've felt, heard what I've wrestled with.

Do you know me now?

Do you understand who I am, where I've been, what I've done?

Can you begin to understand why I say the things I've said, or responded the way I did?

Or were you even reading?

Is anyone really reading this?

I guess that if you have been, I want you to know that this has meant something to me. I started writing this with the perspective of another man in another place during another time.

But I guess, for the most part, its me. These are all my ideas, all my "ways". And I'm not gonna hide from them anymore. If I've sounded pompous or righteous, please excuse me. "God will not deal with the proud," right? If you've read this entire piece, I'd like you to write me and tell me what you've thought of it. Hit the reply button and tell me what you know. I'd appreciate it.

If you haven't really read it and have gotten this far, well, thanks for looking.

Merry ATYCLB Day. -Adam

[This message has been edited by bicyclingfish (edited 10-31-2000).]