not the right place but what the fuck who cares

[popkidu2]

sorry i know this isn't the right place to past this but i dont know where else i would and i just need to say something because im lying in bed and my head is driving me fucking crazy right now at 2am.

im fucking tired of being hurt. im tired of feeling like im second class. it fucking hurts. it just fucking hurts. im sick of hearing the same thing over and over. i dont want to be told that some day ill find that special someone when everyone i fall in love with rejects me. dont tell me its the wrong time in your life. dont tell me its not me. dont fucking lie to me or make up excuses. dont try and hide me from the truth. just fucking say it. just say youre not attracted to me. please, just fucking say it and be done with it.

im fucking tired of having people i have no feelings for fall for me and falling for people who have no feelings for me. its fucking sick and twisted and it just makes me hurt so deep inside i dont know what to do with this pain. id punch a wall if i thought it would make me feel better but it wont. nothing will make it go away.

im 25 and ive never been in love. my whole life ive never been in a proper relationship. im not ugly. im not socially awkward. im a fucking normal guy with good looks who does normal fucking things. what the fuck is wrong with me. what is it???? i dont fucking understand and it makes me so god damn angry i cant fucking tell you. im sick and fucking tired of it. fuck fuck fuck.

im away this weekend so theres no way im gonna reply to this cause i couldnt even if i wanted. whatever. sorry for being so depressing. ttyl.

 

[Diemen]

I've been in the same situation waaaay too many times in my life. And no, having someone say "one day you're going to make someone very happy" or "you just wait, just when you're not expecting it you'll find the woman of your dreams" doesn't help one bit.

My personal favorite? "You're such a great guy - you'd make the perfect husband."

That's a big comfort when no one wants to date you.

But yeah, I've struggled with the 2nd class thing for years (I'm 22, btw), but sometimes it does just take finding the right person to make you realize, or rather, let you show them that you're not 2nd class. It's the waiting around and getting stepped on by people in between that sucks the most.

"Love like you've never been hurt" is a tricky thing to follow. Give it too openly and you become a pawn in their hands. Keep it too guarded and you never get anywhere.

I really could go off for hours on this subject, but I'm going to keep that contained...for now.

 

[zooropamanda]

it cuts me deeply that gorgeous boys such as yourselves feel like this. I dont get it at all.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Just curious popkid and diemen, what do you think happens when 2 folks find each other? when you look at happy couples etc, what is it from your perspectives, actually takes place for those people to be in that situation? I mean do you see it as a right time, right place situ? And also do you see a love filled and complete relationship as a concious thing? How much is in our hands?

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I can relate to some of what both of you guys are saying. I hear "You're such a nice girl, how come you're still single?" way too often, and that leads me to wonder the same things.

I think we will all be OK, and that we will find who we belong with eventually. Till then, take care popkid and Diemen.

 

[foray]

Hi popkidu2. I saw your pic aeons ago and from what I remember, I didn't find you attractive. I usually go for the awkward types (i.e Giles from buffy series). So, yeah, if other girls are like me, they wouldn't find you attractive. I think it's time you started wearing much thicker glasses.

 

[scatteroflight]

This is my life story as well.

What I'm particularly tired of right now is guys who think they can tell you how much they like you and blah blah blah and expect, yes, EXPECT you to be after them with your tongue hanging out just because they expressed interest in you, and then drop you like a hot coal for no apparent reason. Not cool, not cool at all. And I'm also very tired of falling for people who are fundamentally wrong for me, which has always been the case in my serious crushes.

If he's out there, it's not in this part of the world, but I'm doubting it at all.

Hope you feel better, popkid.



------------------
Love was never a single emotion

-ACROB@T

 

[Zoomerang96]

brilliantly put! you are not alone on this one, trust me. you put it much better than i could.

that wont get us a good girlfriend though.

:cryingragingmexicanminotaur:

 

[BabyGrace]

I care and so does everyone else who answered this.
I can't say anything that will make it stop hurting; it's up to you to get up each day and keep fighting and believe in what you're fighting for, because I promise it will happen if you don't give up. Which is exactly what will make you feel worse, I know.
Whatever you do, don't retreat, because it only makes matters worse, trust me, I know, I've done it too many times.
You're a great person and no one can ever take that away from you. Believe in you.

 

[Achtung_Bebe]

I know how you feel too.

I've never had a relationship, I'm tired of the chase... I'm ready for the catch. Even if it needs to be thrown back in the end, atleast things will be progressing

But I have been trying to remain patient. However it makes it more difficult when my 16 yr. old sister is in a relationship of 2 years, and your 21 year old brother is married to a girl he met on a cruise ship from Peru. I'd like my fairy tale too, please. Also when the majority of your friends are involved. And then someone always comes along and says "you are a good person, you'll make someone very happy." Well, I'm tired of hearing that... it's one of those hypothetical situations when you put it that way.

I keep telling myself to keep my head up, and perhaps once I'm out of high school and off on my own, I'll have more opportunity to meet someone. I also try not to go out in search for that someone, because I do actually believe that it just happens, without warning...

 

[Diemen]

Originally posted by Angela Harlem:
Just curious popkid and diemen, what do you think happens when 2 folks find each other? when you look at happy couples etc, what is it from your perspectives, actually takes place for those people to be in that situation? I mean do you see it as a right time, right place situ? And also do you see a love filled and complete relationship as a concious thing? How much is in our hands?

To clarify, I'm not in the same situation as Popkid right now. My post was more a reflection on the majority of my dating life. I have found someone very special, although we're going through a very trying time with an uncertain outcome (very uncertain...), but I believe that the sign of a strong relationship is the willingness to work through hardships and come out stronger on the other side, rather than get thrown off by them. In any case, I'm not as bitter (yet

) about relationships as my first post seemed.

I think that the right place and right time do have a lot to do with a successful relationship. Not everything, of course, but they do play a role. My first serious relationship (well, only 3 months and it ended badly) was a classic case of bad timing. I was in the right place, but our directions at that time clashed. The timing that started off my current relationship wasn't that great considering the current circumstances, but it's definitely not the main culprit. There's a long list of influences that can affect a relationship - time, money, distance, self-confidence (or lack thereof), ex-boyfriends/girlfriends coming back to pull on emotional ties that were never broken, etc, etc...

But I believe that love is a very easy thing to give. It was very, very easy for me to fall in love with my girl. She's my best friend of 10 years, despite having not seen her in 4 years before this last summer. Our friendship honestly amazes me at it's strength and depth. I've never experienced anything like it, and there was a real, honest and deep love between us before any romance started. So it was easy for me to fall in love with someone I already loved deeply, if that makes sense.

But it takes more than love to make a relationship last. It takes dedication, commitment, and work. The difference is that in the "right" relationship, none of it is a burden, none if it feels like a task. So in that sense a love-filled and complete relationship is a conscious and unconscious thing - It takes work but it shouldn't feel like work (am I making any sense?).

[This message has been edited by Diemen (edited 01-24-2002).]

 

[Alisaura]

I AM socially awkward... what the fuck am I supposed to do?

 

[BabyGrace]

Ali, I think one day we'll just get to a point where we don't fucking care anymore and then it will all start to come together. At least that's what I'm hoping on. In the meantime, what to do? I know I'll just get up each day and keep trying because I have a feeling most of it is caused by my own mind.

and for the record, I think everyone here is cool, I think you're all wonderful people and it hurts to see you guys going through these things

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Oh, popkidU2, reading your post put such a familiar twinge in my stomach. I've been in your shoes before, and I agree, there is NOTHING worse or more painful than unrequited love and being 2nd choice/class.

Whenever I am upset about anything, I would actually rather have someone say, "I know, it really, really sucks" rather than having them try to cheer me up. So...for what it's worth, I'm sorry you feel so awful and I only hope your situation gets better as soon as possible!! ((HUGS))

 

[wannabe]

I think I have designed a reply that will be guaranteed to make the eyes roll anyone posted above but, love exists. I only wish everyone could feel how I do, but I believe love will find you before you find it.

Hell, I feel in love with being single. Then I met the type of girl dreams describe.

But I do understand the demolition of being single. The way I used to look at relationships was that they are like sugar, making life sweeter. Now you can live without sugar, but it would be nice to have some every once in an odd while not expecting "would it be too much to ask". I'm really sorry if this hasn't made you feel any better, but the last bit of advice I can give from the mouth of one of my permanant bachelor friends: Player, play on.

 

[Salome]

Originally posted by popkidu2:
im a fucking normal guy with good looks who does normal fucking things. what the fuck is wrong with me.

maybe you use the word "fuck" too often?

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[popkidu2]

I was in an angry mood salome...

This weekend I was lucky enough to get away from New Hampshire and not have to think about the whole situation, but coming back into the state it all came flooding into my mind again.

It's not being single that I mind. I'm confortable with that.

It's not rejection in it's simplist sense. It's happened before, it's part of life, I can accept that.

What really, really, really, really, really digs in my side and causes me pain, is that I was in a comfortable place in my life, and I met an incredible woman, and we connected on so many levels, and it truly blows me away that she wasn't interested. It just eats me alive every time this happens. I wasn't looking for some really serious thing right off the bat, I was just looking for someone to spent time with, see what happened, and have a good time.

I'm 25 years old. I refuse to be 30 and not have had a relationship with a woman that wasn't completely disfuntional.

*shrugs*

I have no idea what I am saying.

Talking about it just depresses me, so I am going to stop.

I appreciate all the responses given here.

And foray, I assume you were joking, right??????

later.

 

[foray]

Yeah, I should've signed off as yarof. Sorry!

foray

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

Can I tell you that I feel the same way? Not taht I want this to turn into a pity post for anyone.

You're 25 and never been in love.
Actung Bebe you're 18 and have never had a serious relationship.

I'm 19, and have never had either too (god, the poor grammar here really hurts). Yeah, the one time it actually could have worked out, an old flame came back and pulled on the heartstrings of the guy I was seeing at that time. It HURT, seeing him go back to her.
My second relationship this year (meaning, since September)? All the guy was after was sex. For the first little while he was oh-so-sweet, but, I'm not moving that fast, that far. Over.
Of my group of 5 friends, all 5 less me, have boyfriends. While it'd be nice to have one, I'm not pushing myself. I live without him. I have thus far. It'll happen, I hope.
The only other guy I've fallen for had a girlfriend...whom he just broke up with this past weekend. And while I've waited, I'll give him time. Cause I'd rather not rush into this and get hurt. I give my heart too easily, too quickly.
Even my MOM asks me why ..And while I don't have an answer, I guess I'll wait and see. Who knows? It'll happen, it will popkidu2.

------------------
*Have you come here for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead? Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?*

 

[Diemen]

n/m

[This message has been edited by Diemen (edited 01-31-2002).]