My Indifference

[For Honor]

This has to do with....... a lot of things people have approached me with. A lot of situations, world events, national events... my neighbor.... but mostly a refelction of a part of my attitude. My colder side.......


==============
Title = MY INDIFFERENCE



"devil may care"

Heh, the devil.......
Yes, blame him...

Look, I'm just here to say to you
This...



stop.

What is wrong with you?
How can you be so occupied with such......... meaningless 'distress'?
Automatic search for sympathy, must you be
Always hastey this way to me

Slur my words, no I don't
I don't care to write them out
'No more'
Yeah, that sounds like something a whore would say... 'no more'
Whore it out for your drugs, get your artificial enligtenment

But I don't even want to waste words
on so much as a perturbed path as that has been.

No damn, do I give.........



Nope, can't watch "no news"
why do WE care about a baby in the hospital
Suck the thumb?


Now, Katrina, my Katrina......



"A scene of desparation and chaos"
Look
You people don't even know how to handle yourself.
And the news..... guilt me try you to?
What.


Come on

What, do you all think that "this isn't supposed to happen?"
This is "an act of god", wreaking havoc on us?
Is this some supernatural hell?
No


It's life
And people are supposed to die.






Now this
She comes to me, says to me this
"Yeah, everything else has been really bad, except for you"
Flattering it is, but I have done nothing
Why do you cry, why are you angry
You made a mistake, now grow from it
Still you pay, psychologist to anayze you
Walk you through your own problem
That you create and consume within yourself
So that it becomes who you are
Don't you see?



Don't you see?
You come to me too, 'old man'
Yeah, you're sorry for my life, for the "facts" taht everyone around me - that their life sucks, and they are in pain. And that your life sucks too.


Well, great.
What do you want me to feel?



Just let me look at my beauties.
I am no pervert
I am sincere in what I find beautiful....

...
...


See what has become
Me of?

Yet I do not blame anyone else
I accept

Don't you digest your lunch?

What's worse than that is fake empathy, the pity that you are supposed to feel, but don't , but say you do
Don't you?
DOn't you feel it?
Sense it?

The mass........... insincerity......




My tv shows the wind blowing the trees, and what, what am I supposed to feel?
I see the streets flooded, and what, what am I suppooed to feel?
I see people running, so what, what am I supposed to feel?


What you see on the screen is life in it's highest degree.

I do applaud, for those involved will never forget
I do not know why they are so full of sorrow.

they didn't loose anyhting they can't live without



As you see fit consider it so, but
They're very voice justifies it
They are alive

So really, not much has changed


So what, you got divorced
So what, your relationship sucks
What are you going to do about it?
You're bald, yhour old, your unhappy
So why don't you cry?



I look to my country, my wonderful homeland.
And it is all based on emotions
So ....... disturbingly unsound
And away from our ideals

But I guess honor was never one of them.
Freedom of speech

Freedom to cry........
To ........ make your skin glow with oil of olay
To ... to cry

To be overweight
To blame others for your problems
To take your drugs, your medication
And think that it will help

When you don't understand that your life is in your hands
And when you look in the mirror and when your feeling even queerer
And when you don't open your mind up..........

your just a genieu pig
Slaughterable, completely.

Haven't you ever seen the matrix?







COme on, you know what i'm going to say
You know what I mean, sure I've gone over the top
But that's how we all have to do it nowadays

This isn't even contraversial, though.....

.......remember how you felt at the beginning of this, before you read it?

isn't it......

........do you feel let down to know that it doesn't really matter?
That what you feel now doesn't make a difference?

My indifference


Or does it empower you to know that you were right?

 

[For Honor]

....... MY INDIFFERENCE, continued

"this machine is his life"

well, why are we so afraid to die?
huh?
What is it?

Cowards..........



You create a god to save you
From your own fear
Fear of death
Even worse, a death in hell where......... where what? you face pain? Physical pain of flame? What
what is it?

If you die, your body doesn't go with you, not the same one. But even I don't know. And neither do you. You donlt know what happens, how can you. Are you dead?

But even that, it doesn't matter.


ARe you afraid of death?
I'm not

Sure, I have reactions, I don't want to die, like any living thing does. But why fear it? So you can eat more because you feel bad so you can get fatter, and thus, closer to your grave?

Hah, can't you even see?

Hah.......hahahahah..........


*sigh*

I don't get it, though.....









So I'll ask yiou all this question...
Perhaps you can answer me this, though it is a false question, because it's one you can't answer, of course.
But I'll ask for your opinion
We do have free speech, right?



So, what should I give my life for?
What should I dedicate my life too?

Hmm?
What's worth it?



What is the exception to
My indifference?



why can't you see
That it must be
No less or more
I'm out the door

(since)
I must be
An acrobat
To talk like this
And act like that


but you can dream.......

 

[For Honor]

"Results are Not Acceptable"



The real danger resides in the human heart

 

[For Honor]

I can't stand this.....

Stop ..... being fake

"Oh, it's so emotoina, so tragic".........
Welll, what are you doing about it?


I'm not better, but what is it with all this super sympathy?
People do not need to cry

They need to do, act....


And the leadership in the area is horrible
Now there are rapes and violences?

Disgusting

 

[For Honor]

No one is safe

No one is safe





Not even you
Don't talk to me?
Doesn't matter
Do I care....?
Doesn't matter
You were never there
You never have been
Wll you always distance yourself from me?

Alas, irrelevance.
No matter what, the fact is
It's a long way off.
The same story now, for....
5 years straight?
7 years?

Everyone is a part of it
My Indifference...

Even now,
where should I be
Not here
Fake responsibilities
Rushed, fickle hurried
Just like a druggie covering up her room
Covering
Desparately trying to cover that vast
ANd inexacapable sense of incompetence

So yes, don't I
Isolate myself because I refuse, now,
To get close to anyone else


Full circle comes today
School starts yet I do not go
People ask me and I do not care
Now, again, it is my turn to seek solitude



But still, the day continues to get shorter...
WHat else is new?

 

[For Honor]

What is this?


Yes, now we have a "biblical famine"
Come on...........

Stop crying, America

You're not a baby
So stop looking over your shoulder for someone to help
Because no one should
There is no need for congratulations


not acceptable


You don't need empathy
leadership is needed
You don't need a tissue
you need action

You don't need God to show up, to be pleased
It's only you, and what you do


That goes for every single person in America, and the world.

 

[For Honor]

"If we can get troops into Iraq in 24 hours, why can't we get troops into New Orleans within 5 days?"




anmd now, the eternal scapegoat...........

hail, 9/11 has been blamed.


"well, you know, since 9/11, the gov't shifted it's stratagies for disasters"

WRONG ANSWER

(damn, I need to find that Sam Jackson clip)


Come on..........
Excuses don't get you anywhere

 

[wizard2c]

reply

For Honor, I always remember there are two forces in the World........namely, good and evil and it will be a constant battle between the two until the final conflict is won.

As I say learn from the past, don't dwell on it....the future is NOW.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

So what is the hurricane?


A huge force of evil?

I refuse to believe that......



You could, perhaps, think of it as a test
a of character, perhaps

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Unfortunately, evil presents itself in the strangest of ways.

To further my KATRINA words......scramble....take a look at this one.......

l A K e p o n t c h a r T R A I N

a k train = a killer train

Perhaps mankind spells out its own destiny?

The song "The Gambler".......a gamble not to build levees to Category 5......money??....be creative.....find the money from entertainment and other tax revenues but get the job done that needed to be done.

Sorry......but...that's how I read the cards this time around.

carol
wizard2c



Learn from the past....do not dwell on it.

 

[For Honor]

"l A K e p o n t c h a r T R A I N" ???

I don't quite get that


Why, I could say that this---- > 'nitraoomd' means "DOOMTRAIN". BUt that doesn't prove anything.


I'm just missing the boat on this one, I guess.


I mean, you could say that they did 9/11 on that day because it's like 911. But I don't think that makes it some larger than life message.



I mean, really. ...
Why are people so amazed that a massive hurricane hit the USA?
We aren't invincible to natural disasters or something. ANd yeah, it was a severe storm that did a lot of damage. But that is life, in and of itself. Think how many times over the same event has been evaded because of the levees that already are in existance. Why, if there were no levees, then New Orleans wouldn't be there at all.


Taking it further, I don't understand why people were suprised the trade centers went down..... I mean, what do you expect if a plane crashes into them?


And if you really want to be scared, then, think about the extremists who are celebrating Katrina, saying that God is on the side of the fundementalists who "hate america"



I'm not saying that things aren't connected.


But the only thing Katrina did was expose faults.
It is not a good or bad thing
It is life, reality, survival, gut check

The levees weren't set
People couldn't get out of NO
People refused to get out of NO
etc etc etc

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Perhaps wizards just view the world from a different perspective.......the future is written...you just need to know where to find the words.....and when....that's all.
As I said.....most don't understand nor need to...but wizards do.

Right now, I'm beginning to sense the dragon approaching.......but the dragon is always there.......

"Time" and "space".....heard that the other day................

carol
wizard2c



Are you okay, For Honor, you seem to be a little annoyed...????

 

[For Honor]

it's not against you, wizard2c. I don't mean to be curt or harsh towards you.



I'm kind of disgusted with how some people are acting .....

But I shouldn't expect everyone to feel the way I do, or think the way I do.


(saying that............ I , for a moment, long that I wasn't so alone in some of my views.)

But thats........ I .........
I can't lie about what I feel is the truth, even if that isolates me from others. Uncompromising, and individualistic..... but that can be a lonely path.

Doesn't matter, though.

I'm used to it

 

[wizard2c]

reply

For Honor, I don't know your exact feelings but I understand what you are saying.

Alone......I can't tell you how many times I feel that way. But I accept it because most people don't understand how I view the world.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

what helps the most is remembering that .....


it isn't really about me


That is comforting, for me, for some reason............

 

[wizard2c]

reply

I agree with you there as well, For Honor.

You mentioned swords......well wizards have many swords.......which to use depends upon the strength of the dragon one battles.

It's like having peripheral vision of the world.....the dragon is there...perhaps sleeping or resting, nonetheless still there......so the wizard awaits its next move......

Please write more......I'm having a hard time focusing today.............

carol
wizard2c



PS: I'll forego typing yesterday's reading of The Hobbit....as it would make too much sense......{it was about Gollum: page 71 paperback version}...just in case curiosity sets in......

 

[For Honor]

I don't know how I mentioned swords...........


but I guess that is a "wizard thing" ?




All I can think about is something I have absolutley no indifference towards - people being assholes.

And then, after they are through, coming back and expecting you to still treat them fair. Unfortunately, the person involved is such a good Christian that she is willing to overlook things


but there is no use in letting yourself get taken advantage of.

She is not Jesus Christ....

 

[wizard2c]

reply

No space.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

......

what are you talking about, I wonder?


=-----------------

the comment in my previous post was..... in reference to a personal matter......

 

[wizard2c]

reply

A plane crash in Indonesia...no space to land.......killing 100

just a wizard thing, sorry.

carol
wizard2c


Just my world-wide vision....so what I say probably makes no sense at all.

 

[wizard2c]

reply

But someday I'll find that timeline back to where I truly belong.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

Re: reply

A plane crash in Indonesia...no space to land.......killing 100

just a wizard thing, sorry.

carol
wizard2c


Just my world-wide vision....so what I say probably makes no sense at all.

Why was there no space?


Was this somehow related to "the dragon" ?

 

[wizard2c]

reply

no space

The 737 had just taken off, got a few hundred yards off the ground, started to shake violently, fire broke outside the plane they claim, and it had no space to drop down to except a residential area where it hit cars, houses, set them afire...last count was 147 dead....about 15 or so survived.

The dragon part is from my earlier post......I think they found a cache in Iraq....the sword is related but still different.

Then there is evil......the dragon and evil are constantly lurking.......right now I sense something brewing...just trying to pinpoint it.

Enough of my words.....anything new with you recently?

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

My Indifference grows......


I was going to write more, but I am tired. I should go to bed, for now...........




"La Li Lu Le Lo"