Ive been a bit......scared... to ask this..........but Im gonna do it anyway.

[mad1]

Now, this is just asked plainly plainly out of curiosity.......I truly truly am NOT asking this in that Im higher or lower than u, or that ur all odd or anything like that, ok?

Its important u all know that.....cause Maddie doesnt want to offend................or have u tink she views u like that..........ok? all Christian Interlanders...with respect......

anyway. ma wee question is.....

(I mentioned this in a Lemon Thread aaaaages ago) but yes.....I remember the boy I met on a Christian Skating Night out.........I really really liked him u see.........and the date he took me on was to a Mannifest..........

u see I was younger and never really saw Christian pple as different, in a sense I knew what he was, but just maybe didnt know how strong a Christian he was (do u know what I mean? Some who maybe never go to cinema, never go out in general, only to gatherings.......) so perhaps he was a little like that. I guess when he said he was taking me to a Mannifest, I was not one bit sure what that was..........but halfway through truly truly did feel uncomfortable.........because everyone around me, it seemed, where there for one reason....and me, not being a church-goer (although Im considering a Sunday one now), felt so out of place...........

He convinced me to stay............and no, I didnt look round and laugh at all these pple worshipping Jesus, etc.....I looked round and saw pple actually having a life, and in that sense I DONT MEAN THAT RUDE, I mean that they had something to focus on..........like one big family..........happy, and elated to praise him...........Im not, I mean I HOPE im not tryin to sound funny here, Im certainly not taking the widdle.........*starts to sound dumb now )

ya know some pple we know who are churchy, have said I should try it.........to be honest with u, its just not me.........i just dont ........feel ready for a jump like that.............but I respect pple who do it.............

Anyway.......then of course couple of weeks into this 'very barely there' relationship.......he biked it to see me........and told me he could not go out with me because I wasnt a Christian and handed me a wee bible were he wrote in it why, and that I should read the book (New Testament - I tink it was)..............I didnt...quite......feel so bad about it.......but

wanting to ask:

are Christians like this? Are Christians pple who only date other Christians? Or if they meet someone, are they meant to try and encourage that other person to be one?.............OR do u think he felt the thing wasnt going anywhere and it was his way of lying to get out of the situation......but like, why lie if you're a Christian?

PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEAAAAAAAAASE dont kill me for askin this question ( i know it seems like Ive added in more)

but thats my one.......and its truly only curiousity in thinkin about how that situation was, thats driven me to ask u lot.......











*edited to say - Im such a tit!!! I press on DOD instead of the Religion forum - I absolutely apologise for the confusion! Hopefully it will get moved!

 

[bonosloveslave]

My life story.....

Rejection is never pleasant, and I'm guessing he wasn't just giving you a line to get rid of you. I am a Christian, and I'm sure this guy is feeling convicted by God's will/desire/command that Christians not be "unequally yoked". That can be interpreted in several different ways, but most see it as a Christian shouldn't get themselves into a very close relationship with a non-Christian, be it in a dating relationship, marriage, business partnership, etc.

I was in this predicament with my now husband. When we met, he seemed so wonderful, I was almost ready to give up my resolve not to date a non-Christian. I guess I did for awhile, and I rationalized that he seemed to be open to the idea of God, and I thought I could be a good enough example to get him to want to become a Christian. After about 3 months, I knew I wanted to marry him, but knew I was in for a lifetime of heartache if we did get married and didn't share the same core beliefs. I was gone for about 2 weeks on a trip at this time, and near the end I decided I needed to end it before I got sucked in any deeper - I cried my eyes out the last 3 days of the trip.

I visualized several different scenarios for what I would say and how this would play out, and as God often does, he had something completely different in mind. The day I got back, I go home to freshen up to get ready to go over to see Karl to have this big talk, when he calls me and hysterically starts crying that they just found his cousin dead. This was completely unexpected, she was only 23, it was her birthday; she had occasional seizures throughout her life but hadn't had one in several years. She was home alone, had a grand mal seizure, hit her head and died, just like that.

Now I'm thinking, great Lord, this wasn't part of the plan! How can I break up with Karl when this has just happened? I thought I'd put if off a little bit longer, but Karl knew something was up when I saw him that day. He begged me not to leave him and I explained that I would be there for him, but I didn't think it would be fair to him to continue down the path we were headed when I knew I couldn't marry him. He panicked, said he would do whatever I asked, go to church, read the Bible, become a Christian for me, anything to be with me. It took him a bit to understand that this was something he had to do for himself, not for me. Four months later, he had his own revelation of who God is and why he needed Him. We got married 4 years later, and we'll have our 4 year wedding anniversary in December.

Disclaimer: I *do not* recommend "missionary dating" - it is far more easy for a Christian to be 'dragged down' than for a Christian to 'pull up' a non-believer. God doesn't want us to be unequally yoked because He knows the eventual heartache it will bring. You might say that you don't see yourself marrying this guy - but I think it's much wiser to spare yourself the broken heart and don't date someone you wouldn't consider marrying. I think this guy probably sees it that way - and not because he wouldn't necessarily want to marry you, but because he wants to be in line with God's desire for our relationships.


Sorry to ramble on......hope some of this makes sense.

 

[Blue_Angel]

hey Maddie, I would say that really depends on the person. Some people take religion VERY seriously and feel they cannot date someone outside of their religion because it's not right. Others are more..I guess open-minded..about their faith and don't see the Church as a limiting factor. I can't tell you if he was sincere or not; maybe you should ask him if he is telling the truth because it would mean a lot to you to know how he truly feels. Sorry it didn't work out for you

 

[Stories for Boys]

i'm with what bls said...there have been times when i've seriously considered this...and i've come to the conclusion that marrying someone with different beliefs would hurt my faith more than i can probably deal with easily...so for me, it's not really an option. it seems to me like he also felt that way...

 

[cass]

Maddie I wish i had more on-line time

I only glimpssed at your post , sorry, but it rang a bell in me that still pains and confuses me.
My sister and her husband have been Jehovah's Witnesses for a long time. They completely ostracised their own child because she didn't want to get baptised when she was a teenager. I have also watched the congregation ostracise my sister when her marriage got rocky. tragic.
Just wanted to express that personal experience. It still smarts.
Good luck honey...stay wild.

 

[cell]

i have not been practicing christianity for a very long time now, and i still believe in God and everything, i'm just having a hard time dealing with certain issues with the church in whole, so just kinda understand where i'm coming from. i've thought about this over the past few months as a "what if" question if i did meet the right guy again since im almost newly divorced. and the conclusion that i have come to recently, is that i can't trust another "christian" man in my life. i would rather be married to a buddhist than another "christian" because in my experience over the years, my ex became a totally different man. far from being a christian. and before that, i have dated other guys who claimed to be the same and come to find out its a totally different story. i know that not everyone is perfect, but still...its just been my exerience.

 

[Stories for Boys]

i can't trust another "christian" man in my life.

i'm so sorry...i feel bad that that happened, but it's a shame that a handful of really bad experiences changed your perspective on christian men...i do, however, understand how that could have happened...i hope the same will not happen again! to anyone!

good luck!