Inspired by our very own Bono

[BONO'ppetit]

(probably not done with it but here it is so far)

Stealing phrases
Idol hazes
Devotion gone awry

Lost in mazes
Empty places
Living the good lie

And somewhere underneath
there hides the truth
Afflicted with the squandor
of our youth

Tripping through wires
Mourning the mires
the adulation brings

Heaping the fires
feeding desires
inspite of us he sings

And somewhere underneath
there hides our fate
giving into lust
and icons great

Obscurity, it looms
Obsession long consumes
And to all that you can't leave behind
you fall prostrate

And somewhere underneath
I profess my fate

 

[bonocomet]

wow!

 

[BONO'ppetit]

Crap huh? LOL I'm always criticizing (to myself) others who are inspired by Bono/U2 and using U2 lines in their poetry, until I find myself doing it. I often wonder where the inspiration they see is coming from when I, myself, don't feel it. Then I find myself being inspired by something that may not even be there. It's hard to explain. Even tougher being in my own head.

 

[bonocomet]

No, I meant wow, I really liked it! I think it's really nice.
Very nicely done!

 

[BONO'ppetit]

Ah thanks.

 

[bonocomet]

You are very welcome.
(You got me on the 5th (verse).
Will you be adding more? It's nice as it is tho.

 

[youtooellen]

'And somewhere underneath
I profess my fate'



I really like it
usually whenever I'm inspired by U2/Bono to write something, I always fail miserabley
but you've outdone it, I think it's very well written

 

[BONO'ppetit]

'And somewhere underneath
I profess my fate'



I really like it
usually whenever I'm inspired by U2/Bono to write something, I always fail miserabley
but you've outdone it, I think it's very well written

To tell you the truth, I was more inspired by the writings of fans than Bono, but of course, he was the cause.

And yes, I'm sure I'll be adding to it. I tend to mess with them for a bit after I've started them. Thanks much. Appreciate the comments, positive or not--I like constructive criticism.

 

[ZeroDude]

If I’m to be honest with you some of the lines were incredibly awkward in my opinion especially within the little “heaping the fires” couplet.

But in all fairness you stuck to your rhyme scheme and you managed to keep the syllables under control due to the minimalist structure you chose to present this in.

All in all it was solid and certainly enjoyable but it never really pulled me in and gave my nether region a good literary pounding.

 

[BONO'ppetit]

If I’m to be honest with you some of the lines were incredibly awkward in my opinion especially within the little “heaping the fires” couplet.

But in all fairness you stuck to your rhyme scheme and you managed to keep the syllables under control due to the minimalist structure you chose to present this in.

All in all it was solid and certainly enjoyable but it never really pulled me in and gave my nether region a good literary pounding.

Thanks for your input. What I'm still having trouble with is the second to the last stanza. It's awkward to me. Still trying to find a way to say that in a less awkward manner. Rhyming is okay, but not my favorite thing to do.

 

[For Honor]