FH's Thread III - - (successor to the orignial)

[For Honor]

TELL ME NOW



What is this?
WHy is it still there, this lingering imagination, fairytale...
THing.

Why do I have that lingering?
What is it?
??

Why do I feel so compelled, so drawn to it?
No, it's not just something to do with love
It's more than that. It's.... me
Why is it that I am so serious about everything else, but when it comes to this...

Why is there exception?



Am I , too, still trying to justify myself... to give myself purpose?

 

[For Honor]

I think, everyone, that I am partially an actor.

In addition to a made scientiest

and knight


.......

 

[hiphop]

so you ve been messing with your location, lol.. now you are amongst the few priviledged who are allowed (?) to change format -

Elvis is gonna love you for that

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Hip Hop.........location is where it's at.

carol
wizard2c

 

[hiphop]

yeah wizard irie

 

[For Honor]

so you ve been messing with your location, lol.. now you are amongst the few priviledged who are allowed (?) to change format -

Elvis is gonna love you for that

?

 

[For Honor]

My friend the angel




She's beautiful, you know...
Pretty big eyes and always smiling, dark lovely hair
She's taken, of course, but I don't even notice
She's always the same
She's no one to blame

She does all that she can, and many are thankful
Though some try to twist her and some try to use her
She always comes out on top
And for that I am impressed, as we all should be

She is an angel...
She spreads it around the world
Adding her own special sort of beauty
In her own way of course

At the very least I respect her;
She always makes people feel like they're doing something interesting,
Which Is very difficult to do these days.
Sometimes I can't believe it, you know.

Actually, it bothers some folks
Seeing how she's always there, and always will be there
But not so much for me any more.
I guess sometimes she is misunderstood.
But how can anyone really dislike an angel?
Even my friend, the angel of death
I don't get it

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Nice writing, For Honor.

Angels.....symbolic.......to believe in something causes it to become a reality.

I like your photo though....to me it represents being caught in time at a place where one moves not ahead and does not seek going back. The stairs represent steps of a life.........a choice to proceed up the stairway to perhaps the unknown {although one may know where it does lead} or choose the downward stairway to the past which already has been. My suggestion would be to look through the window behind you and what is seen determines where one goes.

For Honor, never be afraid to look through that window....for me, my windows of time represent the future....but some do see the past and dwell on it. Of course, the downward stairway is the escape route.

It is an image very well created and makes one think about who we are, what we see, and what path we take.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

That is a very nice and thoughtful comment about my photo there. Thankyou.

Going along with what you have already said, I'd like to say that I am glad to be looking forward, up the steps of life. I think that shows my will for progress.

To be honest.... it is an image that was originally blurry, because my neighbor too the photo with shaking hands. But I turned it into something nice, I think.

I like it a lot..... I think it's very fitting.



I like your analysis, though, wizard2c....

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Thank you, For Honor.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

(for the record, my previous sig will come back in a few days. but a momentous win like this for NEBRASKA calls for some extended celebration )

 

[For Honor]

(you're welcome, wizard2c)

 

[wizard2c]

reply

I thought at first glance you were celebrating New Year's Eve.......but it's good to see your team has won.

All the people
out in crowded Times Square
greeting in the New Year
neon lights aglow
watch and wait the arrival
of confetti everywhere...
Happy 2006!

{PS: actually 2006 is just another day but don't tell anyone that..you'll spoil the party}

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

people need things to get excited about.... I realize it helps the flow, the tide of ups and downs...... even if I am not the most festive of people. Despite myself being as such, I have always liked festivals. An interesting contradiction.

 

[For Honor]

for future writtings......


The real question: Can I love you?

more on that later

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Celebration...........my mentor is coming at 7pm to spend New Years Eve with me.......I have some champagne from Argentina...and we'll welcome in 2006. He is bringing a special gift for me......which I will open at midnight......it is special but so is my mentor. I'm sure it is something I can wear at the 2006 Wizard's Ball which he invited me to in Rivendell. You ask where Rivendell is.......it resides on a timeline in space......a wizard's world where I belong.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

well, have a happy andsafe new years, carol

 

[For Honor]

Out of words

Do the best writers
Write themselves out of words?
Or do the best writers keep on writing when they have none...
I have nothing left to write here, though sentimentality brings me back again
I don't want to say goodbye, my friend

Red shift, personality shift, time shift, mind shift...
I don't know.
I just feel out of words

 

[For Honor]

That really was more an introduction. See, I believe I've grown an incredible distaste for writing, though others are still enjoyable to read at times (like here in DOL). But..... compared to a year ago, I feel.. out of words.

I suppose the answer to my question, or as I would answer it, is that it has nothign to do with a 'writer', it's all about the person. The best for each person is different, etc etc etc

There are so many superfluous things, thoughts, etc......

If i were to write any more, I suppose it should be about actual methods to .... to illustrate things, much like I said earlier

I suppose the answer to my question, or as I would answer it, is that it has nothign to do with a 'writer', it's all about the person. The best for each person is different, etc etc etc

Perhaps I can illustrate that with words somehow. I suppose..... that at least would be a worthy challenge.

Like U2, I suppose if I am to continue writting here, I need to move on and reinvent myself. The early stages, writting about myself and experiences as a vent, as a way to releive the stresses.... it's gone.

I've elimiated that. (at least, compared to threads 1&2, that sort of drive has substantially lessened)



I wonder what is next.......

 

[For Honor]

Out of words

Do the best writers
Write themselves out of words?
Or do the best writers keep on writing when they have none...
I have nothing left to write here, though sentimentality brings me back again
I don't want to say goodbye, my friend

Red shift, personality shift, time shift, mind shift...
I don't know.
I just feel out of words

The last thing I want to do is turn Cobain and start criticizing everything because of this transition. That would be utterly pointless. (my statements reveal the reasoning for my feelings about Nirvana...)

 

[For Honor]

Hollow


I wonder sometimes
Why I get reserved to compare myself to others
When really we'reso a like
Furthermore
Why is this so foreign...
Unity and oneness is not a concept I reject
I supposeI'm just being superficial
In theworst of ways.

 

[For Honor]

(I have found some words, and more so, a time to feel like I can write them out.)




Title: "STRUCTURE"
subtitles:
"Bad Feng Shui"
Undisciplined, unfocused, inneficient, amiss, awry
-Entry #1-


"Well, what we have here...Is a sample, a case, a 'situation'"
"Is that so?"
"Quite... You see, it's just bad Feng Shui"
"..."
"You look... placid, yet I sense something is not right"
"Do you even know what Feng Shui is?"
"No... but... ... it's for the sake of example, alright? The best I can do, as a teacher, for the moment, off the top of my head. Cut me some slack, alright?"
"As you wish."
"Right - as I was saying, it's Bad Feng Shui...

The parts here *motions* you see them?"
"*nods*"
"These are the some of the core mechanics of what we;ve been going over lately - you remember all this, right? (without looking, or pausing, knowing the affirmation before he finished the sentence) Great. Well, you see, in this case here....... all of these fine and perhaps seemingly well intended mechanical applications, or positions, or tecniques... theyare all wrong.

It is not that the student is not practicing them, no.

It is not that the student earnestly does not seek improvement, or the proper way of things, no.

You know what the problem is, do you not?"

"Yes. 'Structure; stance, centerline'."

"Exactly right. What this person here has been doing is practicing every day, yet not re-connecting it back with his structure, with his core, with his centerline, with the original idea. Therefore, all the while refining and improving his techniques.... they are fundementally flawed. Like a group of horses pulling a carriage, yet instead of a focused effort of all the horses moving towards the same destination in unity.... the horses, in this very case, are scattered."
"*horse's ass...*"
"Pay attention.

This is a very important illustration. Sometimes it is very much neccesary-to see the negative outcomes- to see the what a case of bad, bad structure, can look like.

...actually, let's not call it "bad feng shui", let's just stick to Structure. You know what I'm refering to, you know what that IS, you know what I'm talking about. But now that I have illustrated the connection, I can speak directly to you. So yes.... it was my plan all along"

"Whatever you say. (I can't believe this guy expects me to believe him when he just makes things up like that...)"

"So remember... watch your structure. Remember the Original Idea. Practice your recitations, your forms, every day, and don't forget. Even on the days you do not feel like it. Even when you are faced with the confrontations that you dislike, the people you do not get along with. Your studies are both related to everyone and soley for yourself - and you out of all people should know how to switch between the energy formulas in order to derive maximum utility out of whatever situation you are in. Don't you agree?"

"Yes.... I know.... You are right."

"Good. I suggest you reflect on this now, for a while. Stand up straight. Always practice your structure, too. Work it all the time, and make it a part of you. This is your assinment, the first of the new year. However, it will stay with you for life. Be mindful of your structure...

...and one last thing.......
I reccomend you keep some sort of notebook, or similiar, so that you can keep track of your thoughts, and actions, and such. You know. Even though it is a "typical" things, which I know, which we ALL know you dislike"

"..........................."

"...which we all know you dislike, I really think you should. Do you have one now?"

"Well, not really. I sort of do, but....it's nothing....really.... working,or whatever. So... just 'no', I guess."

"Right, well, make this your first entry. It's very important. So start now. *checks time* Hey... why are you up so late? Again?"

"I have no real answer."

"You are being unstructured..."

"Yes, I am."

"Well, that will come in time, too. But get started on writting this down somewhere."

"I'm on it."

==
*afterward* (aka my alternate ending, separate from the story, for fun)
==


"Happy New Year"
"Happy New Year"
Happy New Year



=

January 1, 2006
For Honor

 

[For Honor]

^ That, almost certainly, is the most useful and meaningful peice of writting I've every written. There is so much there, that, for myself, I need to remember. I will try to write more perhaps, over time, and maybe it will make more sense - I wonder just how much someone outside of myself can take from that writting.

But for me, it is immensly meaningful, and it is something I have to remember. I don't want to ....... lose it in the way I tend to bypass writtings. Iwant to remember this one...........

 

[For Honor]

{the second entry} Can't do it alone

We can't do it alone



Just now, I've realized what it means
I've head it, but never got it.
Until just now.
We can't do it alone
I suppose this is...... part of being human
One simply cannot do it alone.
One can use others, without them knowing, as references....
But, unless a very rare case is made..... it cannot be done alone
You can insert here whatever great humanitarian (right word?) or other cause you feel is important
Or religion, enlightement, governing of a country, whatever
But it cannot be done alone.
This is part of being human



=
afterward
=

I have tried for so long, and succeded, in being independant from others. I was recently at a threshold where I was going in a direction that would excommunicate myself from everyone else - take a huge plunge in the direction of making "myself" different from "them", and having my mind inside of everything, instead of being aware that it is a tool. I was living through it too much, too directly, focusing too much on ...... on how the tool was used, missing the forest for the trees, the detail for the big picture. I was focusing all my energies on one spot, and instead of supporting the delicate tree I was about to punch a hole right through it. I was about to put so much paint on one spot of the painting that it was beginning to drip down across it all and become smeared.

Those examples are flawed in some ways, but for the sake of themselves, I hope it makes sense.

Words are so poor......

(as you can tell.... I'm despareately trying to write down what is is here..... that I see, feel, whatever..... before I lose it. Before something comes up and distracts me)

It's like sticking my head through a portal......

 

[For Honor]

{the third entry} Experience, on the road again, 1st conjecture - level/magic

In addition to not being able to do it on your own..........


I realize I can only teach so much of it right now. I don't have enough experience, I don't have enough knowledge, I don't have enough of several things. I can't jump the gun.... I can apply what I know, but I MUST remember that I don't know quite a bit.

But I must also understand that this is okay. This is the way it is, and that's not bad. The way is long, and I will find my way with it... but... I'm just not there yet.

I need to reach another benchmark or something, before I .... before I start revealing what it is I want to say, or want to explain. But at least, (at last?).... I have rediscovered the path I need to go down.

I don't want to lose it. again. Though I'm sure that, especially for someone as myself..... sidetracks are neccesary, or at least to be expected. Maybe it is even a requirement.

I just want to take the most outof it that I can. Make the most out of it as possible.




========
===========

Conjecture: "The Drawing magic/level/ease conjecture"

It was easier to draw magic when your level was higher. But when lower, drawing the more powerful magic took longer. So... now and then one must gain experience and level up, so that the proper (or perhaps optimal) course of things can take place.

Hmm.......

 

[For Honor]

Don't let me become a poisoned dragon.

 

[For Honor]

notes (because I don't want to forget!)

notes for next time:
(hopefully I can remember what I mean, but I don't want to write anymore, at this period. I will try for some 'moderation...




Just like you must practice in order to be able to sense properly the movements and openings in sh (aka aCees -aow)
So too must you practice in order to be able to sense properly the movements and openings in the field of the mind, in the situation of life, in the surroundings that you are in.

There are no differences.


]Finally..... my own modernism final paper is coming to terms and revealing itself again


Maybe I should contact Mrs. Carey somehow...

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Those are some great writings, For Honor. Thanks for sharing....I will consider them deeply.

These are the words I will remember as we enter another measurement of time: 2006.............

"One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all,
and in the darkness bind them."........The Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

Fantasy or reality...Hip Hop????

Words......they each have their own place in time......most not know where there are and what they truly mean....for the future is found within.

Keep writing, For Honor, oftentimes we ({just having another spell of typing words which translate differently} take not the time to write for here at DOL few come and fewer read...and we ask why bother {as Zero Dude often mentions}.

For Honor.....did you notice in my last post the similiarity between the 2006 Wizards Ball and the ball which dropped last night in Times Square.....a crystal ball to herald in the New Year?

carol
wizard2c

 

[wizard2c]

reply

well, have a happy andsafe new years, carol

Same to you, For Honor, as well........and the rest who visit here at DOL.......

carol
wizard2c



PS: Sorry I've just been battling some evil forces today......it's not been the best of days for me.

 

[For Honor]

no problem.

We all do........ ' some days are better than others'


I haven't heard that song in a whle..........