Eden

[scatteroflight]

And after a thousand years, we returned to our Eden
to find that the sword?s whirling wind
had died down at the gates
where the angels once watched.
No more. Those light-bound beings
must have flown on the day that we looked
into each other?s eyes and found that time?s wind,
God?s wind, had blown through the earth
and restored?what was to be restored.

We rediscovered silence. We rediscovered love,
there, in the grass that bruised into sweetness
to match the bruises on our skin
that were only fading from the world outside
and reappearing in the violence of love
and the discovery of perfection
that we feared had come too late.
The stars would magnify, dilate
as we watched them at night,
breathing in the sweet light from those stars
that existed no longer.
We rediscovered life. There was no bitterness,
not that I recall.

And after a million years, we left our Eden,
without rancour, blessed with a thousand questions,
wondering if the sword would reappear
to whirl in its death-dream at the gates
for all eternity.
No answer. The mist came down
when we tried to look back,
and there was no wind of time or God
to clear it away. So there may be other Edens,
but if so, they are surely closed to us,
waiting for the one with the one key
to re-open them and re-open our eyes
and to show us that we are not,
as we have always thought,
alone.

 

[Bonochick]

Originally posted by scatteroflight:
So there may be other Edens,
but if so, they are surely closed to us,
waiting for the one with the one key
to re-open them and re-open our eyes
and to show us that we are not,
as we have always thought,
alone.

I loved that work, especially the ending. Very nice. The way you can put things into word like that is incredible.


------------------
Trust In God...But Lock Your Doors

 

[The Wanderer]

The stars would magnify, dilate
as we watched them at night,
breathing in the sweet light from those stars
that existed no longer.
We rediscovered life. There was no bitterness,
not that I recall.

I like that especially, you really write well about a theme that most fail miserably in writing about; I usually whince at these sort of things, because it's so hard not to avoid cliches when taking on a subject like this, but this is nice

you are a wonderful poet scatteroflight.

--------
So I turn'd to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore,

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tomb-stones where flowers should be

-William Blake

 

[BabyGrace]

Originally posted by scatteroflight:


We rediscovered silence. We rediscovered love,
there, in the grass that bruised into sweetness
to match the bruises on our skin
that were only fading from the world outside
and reappearing in the violence of love
and the discovery of perfection
that we feared had come too late.
The stars would magnify, dilate
as we watched them at night,
breathing in the sweet light from those stars
that existed no longer.
We rediscovered life. There was no bitterness,
not that I recall.

exceptional scattero, I'm at a loss for words




------------------
contradiction is balance

 

[foray]

Sounds like a breakup poem. I like your cross metaphors and allusions in this wind, esp about the wind and sword.

foray

 

[scatteroflight]

Thanks everyone...you're too kind

foray, it's interesting you should say it sounds like a breakup poem, and also quite perceptive. I never thought of it that way before. I couldn't remember what I was thinking of when I wrote this poem, which was actually quite some time ago. But when I went to my notebook and looked at the date when I wrote it, I realized that at that time I was almost certainly anticipating a breakup (of sorts), which did come less than two months later.

Sometimes you need other people to tell you what your poems are about

------------------
In time you'll see that some things travel faster than light
In time you'll recognize that love is larger than life
And praise will come to those whose kindness leaves you without debt
And bends the shape of things that haven't happened yet

-Neil Finn

 

[foray]

Originally posted by scatteroflight:
foray, it's interesting you should say it sounds like a breakup poem, and also quite perceptive. I never thought of it that way before. I couldn't remember what I was thinking of when I wrote this poem, which was actually quite some time ago. But when I went to my notebook and looked at the date when I wrote it, I realized that at that time I was almost certainly anticipating a breakup (of sorts), which did come less than two months later.

Sometimes you need other people to tell you what your poems are about

Wow, scatteroflight. Btw, I don't think I've ever done what you did--write something without knowing what it was about. I'm more a thinker sort of writer, sometimes I reckon it'd be good for me to just "wing it" like you did

foray