circle of infested pain

[BabyGrace]

I am a mother's child and a sinner's ear
It writhed in the distance and was all she could hear
One brief night to give up all she lacks
It flew by too fast as he lost himself and broke her back
I am the newborn child whose cries hang still
And just another lover to pay the bill.

I am a mother's child and a sinner's eye
Too many painted faces that I can't deny
She sends me out to play but lets me go
Because in the end she doesn't know that
I am myself in all my obscene glory
But each night, under the covers, it's the same story.

I am a child's mother and a sinner's hand
Holding the new chances I don't understand
Each baby whose head I hold tight to my breast
Will be, because of me, just a little bit less
I am all the times she ever watched me bruise
As I am suckling the pain come home to roost.

 

[The Wanderer]

*is blown away

after I read this a few more times I'll reply with something a little less mindless...

I really enjoy reading your words, Nikki, the best part is that usually when I go back and read your poem a 2nd, 3rd or 4th time, I inevitably find something I missed the previous time

 

[ACROB@T]

I am a mother's child and a sinner's eye
Too many painted faces that I can't deny
She sends me out to play but lets me go
Because in the end she doesn't know that
I am myself in all my obscene glory
But each night, under the covers, it's the same story

brilliant writing..so much to take in

 

[BabyGrace]

hey thanks so much guys

I stole inspiration for the structure of the imagery in this from Gwendolyn Brooks' The Mother which is a haunting poem although about something different from this one, despite the title.

Wanderer, you know what's way too cool?? I go back and read your poetry from a year ago and it means something totally different to me now than it did then...

 

[bono-vox]

wow...lovely

I hope someday I can write like this!!!

 

[zooropamanda]

its not often that rhyming poetry can work
you did it well here but also managed to create a very powerful and strong image.

i love those opening lines.

 

[The Wanderer]

Each baby whose head I hold tight to my breast
Will be, because of me, just a little bit less

wow I keep reading and loving this poem more and more

and few questions:

are you saying that when a female becomes a mother, her child tends to be more instilled with the traits and characteristics of the mother, rather than developing his/her own?

and also it seems that the first person narrator in this poem is saying her child(ren) will be less because of her own shortcominigs, meaning her failures will be projected on to her "babies," and that this is an ongoing thing carried from generation to generation

but it seems like this could also be the lamentation of someone who is not exactly pleased with herself and the things she is doing, and she has extremely low self esteem, while being exploited and allowing others to exploit her, this level of the poem is not as strong and pervasive perhaps, but there are a few lines throughout that suggest such an interpretation (for example, "babies" could mean lovers and the "bruising" could be physical as well as mental, "just another lover to pay the bill" and "But each night, under the covers, it's the same story," those lines all suggest to me their is this alternate interpretaion, but I admit the more substantiated interpretation is the mother-child connection)

but anyway, I've read this over and over and I still don't quite get all of it I think, but this is one of your finest, you should submit it for publishing


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you quiver like a candle on fire, putting you out maybe tonight...




[This message has been edited by The Wanderer (edited 04-28-2002).]

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Awesome, BG. I can't decide on any one line I like the best, so I'll just say I loved every one. Your writing is amazing, girl.

 

[BabyGrace]

wow thanks everyone, I'm not sure about that Wanderer, but thanks it means a lot to me.

In answer to your question, I was trying to get more at the effect of how all babies are born with their world wide open and full of chances, and then everything just narrows down on them, yes sometimes because of their mother's own mistakes which have effects on the child, but also simply because of.. well the nature of humanity.

the second relationship you mentioned never occurred to me, I wish I was that creative!

anyway, it's not quite as 'neat' a poem as it might first come across what with the rhyming and all, it has a lot of little ideas in it about human relationships. actually there is a lot about low self-esteem in it, I didn't even realize I wrote it that way but basically it's a mother looking back and realizing that she's pretty much screwed up her life and the situations she's gotten herself into will screw up her children's lives as well.

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tomorrow's just an excuse away
so I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own...