Christmas For Thom Yorke

[ZeroDude]

Every failing hour, seasonal desires
Tear Adam from the breast to rest
For Eve his soul devours,

Christmas dawns her soul redrawn,
In the arms of the saviour child
Masochistic sadist whores
Despise her every smile,

In spite of common courtesy,
They pursued her thro’ the night
Festive folly wrought with doubt
The angel’s haste denies,

All collusion lewd and trite,
Pardoned prose worn woes
Definitions devise replies
To divinity’s archaic foes,

Every failing hour, seasonal desires
Tear Adam from the breast to rest
For Eve his soul devours.

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Very good writing, Zero Dude.

carol
wizard2c

 

[ZeroDude]

Cheers Carol, I appreciate your input.

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Cheers Zero Dude.....perhaps during this joyous holiday season we can get together for some fireside tales.

Perhaps I'll post a thread here at DOL and we can all sit back and partake in perhaps some red wine {or whatever preference} and tell tales while we enjoy the kinship besides the fireplace. Perhaps I can get Gandalf to stop by with his pipe...I know he has many dragon tales......we'll leave the door open....for all who travel through our DOL..............

carol
wizard2c

 

[ZeroDude]

Maybe we will but for now I just wish there more people who read my work.

Who commented on the imagery, phrasing, diction and more importantly it's content.



But life goes on.

 

[youtooellen]

great writing ZD

the darkness of it (if that was what you were going for..) is almost uplifting in some sense.

'Tear Adam from the breast to rest
For Eve his soul devours.'
^ thought provoking..

gets me into the holiday spirit

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Maybe we will but for now I just wish there more people who read my work.

Who commented on the imagery, phrasing, diction and more importantly it's content.



But life goes on.

Zero Dude.....you have an excellent grasp of these qualities. I admire your knowledge of the subject.

Now....my fireside chats are spoiled......seems someone already started the tales of yore.......{ugh{.....

carol
wizard2c

 

[ZeroDude]

^
Well hopefully we can reconvene and have another little chat again.

 

[For Honor]

I must confess, though, sometimes I just want your writing to be a little more clear. but that's just me. I'm too practical, and not as .... sophisticated as I could be.

I'm not really much one for poetry, unless everyone else hates it, but that's hard to explain.


Actually, I must confess that sometimes I am impatient and run through it. I will reread it again, and give it a more thoughtful and serious commentation.

 

[For Honor]

I almost want to ask you, ZD, "what's it about"


But I think that would defeat the inherent purpose, or reason for it's creation. (I just ask that question about everything, though "what's it about" )

Content: in one sense, I have no idea what it's really about. In another sense, it smacks of religion, and yes, holiday, adam and eve, right right right. But really, I..... I'm left with a wondering. But perahps this is because the subject matter is something I don't know much about, and therefore, it has no effect. Suggested background material, perhaps? But no..... I think...... no, that's not quite it either. It's not really like that. I'm just missing it. Or I'm still too impatient to string everything together, I don't know


Diction: I think you've improved that quite a bit. Seems like yuou've been taking a look over some of Laz's works, but I blame you not - those are verywell worded. Still, honestly, sometimes it's too flowery for me - words just for the sake of words. But that's me, and I've described why I am such. However... I do know that the words you choose here are very heavy, dense, or condesed; there is a lot going on, which is great. It just doesn't.... flow for me. But then again, I suppose that is part of poetry. I just don't. personally, like spending time going over things and breaking them down, or my mind just doesn't work that way. I'm too.... ....... .... ..... uh...... what's the word.... mentally rigid, or something. You know.

Phrasing: very good.
Imagery: from what I did get, I thought it was very good

gets me into the holiday spirit

I think that was a joke by ellen.... but... taken literally, no, I can't say it puts me in the holiday spirit.


I must also state, Will, I have a tendancy to be very superficial, especially in initial judgements. Especially in overal qualities. And soemtimes, when something is more negative, it is something I don't warm up to easily, and am more put off by it.

But that's just me.




So I guess I wrote a lot but I don't know if it's of any use, seeing how I'm not really a great poet. I hope I wasn't too critical or anything, but I just figred I'd do something like that, for once.

If you can offer some suggestions as to howbetter critique your writing, I'd like to hear them. (yes, I know that is an absurd sentence to write). And probably it would just be "well, read it again, and know the words and know what it's all about!", perhaps. Maybe I will, though...

maybe...

 

[ZeroDude]

Cheers mate, you’ve gave me what I would like to receive more often than not in regards to what I write.

I find myself having to state that I make no distinction between words; in fact most of what is here has never been revised in any shape or form.

You see the words that I use and in essence the words that we all use are just middlemen, a means to an end. They’re there to convey emotion and/ or the viewpoints held by the writer in question nothing more or nothing less. Of late I’ve chose to present myself in a fairly cryptic manner and indeed this may seem off putting to most but I would be diluting my own thoughts if I did this in any other fashion.

Art is open for interpretation, in fact all of these terms that we throw around much like “art” are open for discussion. Where I am metaphorically speaking there is nothing that’s finite or definite. The greatest explanation of this can found within a quote that I use quite a lot when I am asked to provide an interpretation for my own work to my rather limited audience.

Leo Tolstoy:

“Art begins when one person, with the object of joining another or others to himself in one and the same feeling, expresses that feeling by certain external indications. To take the simplest example: a boy, having experienced, let us say, fear on encountering a wolf, relates that encounter; and, in order to evoke in others the feeling he has experienced, describes himself, his condition before the encounter, the surroundings, the woods, his own light heartedness, and then the wolf's appearance, its movements, the distance between himself and the wolf, etc. All this, if only the boy, when telling the story, again experiences the feelings he had lived through and infects the hearers and compels them to feel what the narrator had experienced is art. If even the boy had not seen a wolf but had frequently been afraid of one, and if, wishing to evoke in others the fear he had felt, he invented an encounter with a wolf and recounted it so as to make his hearers share the feelings he experienced when he feared the world, that also would be art. And just in the same way it is art if a man, having experienced either the fear of suffering or the attraction of enjoyment (whether in reality or in imagination) expresses these feelings on canvas or in marble so that others are infected by them. And it is also art if a man feels or imagines to himself feelings of delight, gladness, sorrow, despair, courage, or despondency and the transition from one to another of these feelings, and expresses these feelings by sounds so that the hearers are infected by them and experience them as they were experienced by the composer.”

This is in my opinion the only truth about art and at that it’s a vast truth with an almost infinite amount of possibilities that are able to be derived from this pretence.
Although to a fairly detrimental effect I’d question my own sincerity.

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Zero Dude writes:

"You see the words that I use and in essence the words that we all use are just middlemen, a means to an end. They’re there to convey emotion and/ or the viewpoints held by the writer in question nothing more or nothing less. Of late I’ve chose to present myself in a fairly cryptic manner and indeed this may seem off putting to most but I would be diluting my own thoughts if I did this in any other fashion. "

I know exactly where you are coming from, Zero Dude. We each come here with thoughts to express......the only thing different is you and I are well {say we're not Bono}......when Bono says something the whole world stands up and listens....you and I are lucky to get a reply....the same with most who post here at DOL.

But we post anyway......where few see, hear, nor understand. Then you can go over to General Disccusion and get all the latest feed from CNN, etc. {so where would most at this Forum go....certainly not here}. Like how many at Inteference ever read an editorial cartoon or a cartoon for that matter and truly understand what the message is being conveyed.

That's why I'm headed over to another Forum.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

Re: reply

That's why I'm headed over to another Forum.

carol
wizard2c

what does this mean?

 

[For Honor]

Cheers mate, you’ve gave me what I would like to receive more often than not in regards to what I write.

I find myself having to state that I make no distinction between words; in fact most of what is here has never been revised in any shape or form.

You see the words that I use and in essence the words that we all use are just middlemen, a means to an end. They’re there to convey emotion and/ or the viewpoints held by the writer in question nothing more or nothing less.

The farther I go, the more dissapointed I am with words. I don't think I can communicate adequately enough.....

But in generally, I know of what you speak of, ZD