Chapters of Analysis

[For Honor]

It seems like whenever I start something, I have to go...


Well, anyhow, I'm going to be starting a new sort of miniseries... artistically analyzing certain individuals I come in contact with... it's more an exercise of understanding a persons spirit energey, hah, so to say....

but...

well...

You'll see....

more commentary to come

 

[For Honor]

I was looking forward to writing "Chapter One" but I am to completely agitated to do anything properly...

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Looking forward to Chapter One.............

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

Let's Try....


Chapter One



the alias =
The Inauspicious Fire Horse


All the signs in the sky, they are against you, my friend
More than a friend
Your love is real, I feel it. I'm so sorry that you're tainted in all that you do
In all that you wanted. So interesting the effect you have on my life...

Solitatary Rabbits, and then the rarity of all rarities
Two archers for two figures, both so independent
Rigid, black or white, black or white, always
Or never, perhaps.

You are so impatient, so strong yet impatient. If you would only wait...
Impatience begets... ignorance
False ignorance, for you don't giveyourself the change to learn, grow

"If I don't know it, I don't need to know it", depending on others
You always wanted that picturuesque family, coming from two sisters and 3 brothers.
You want your man to be a man but a woman you don't seem
Feminine your figure and traditional your theme
But still you stand like a statue

Isolate yourself.
It's your destiney though, and you fell right into it
I wonder... if it will be that way for me
I wonder... if I can't change "what is said to be"

You're on fire all the time, and when I see you sad it makes me wonder
Depressed, medication, phoenix
You rose up from death, the cancer
You're so strong, but... I will always feel a sense of unfortune, infortune





..... how can it be
..... that the two entities that are least suppose to match
..... lasted for 11 years?

I wonder.... did they...
Do it for me?

------------
------------

(not being arrogant at all, I'm actually just wondering about something... why would... say... the moon and the sun attempt to share the same sky?)

 

[lazarus]

Stanza that begins "Solitary rabbits"--fantastic.

I feel like I'm looking into something I'm not supposed to. Very intimate. A penetrating portrait.

and of course, the Inauspicious Fire Horse. Great name.

 

[For Honor]

edit - the last sentance at the bottom of my post should read:

"..... why would... say... the moon and the sun attempt to share the same sky, at the same time ? ) "

nothing major, just a small clarification.



more to come, it;s.... it's overflowing...


------------

I'm impatient, oh no! and my spelling is incorrect to what I thought :
"False ignorance, for you don't give yourself the chance to learn, grow

 

[For Honor]

Stanza that begins "Solitary rabbits"--fantastic.

I feel like I'm looking into something I'm not supposed to. Very intimate. A penetrating portrait.

and of course, the Inauspicious Fire Horse. Great name.

Thankyou. Actually, that might be an accurate description of some of what I am writing about - - people tend to give off certain "essences" that I notice, and I'm sure others do to, but part of my analysis... kind of reminds me of describing a character in a story or something, not that I would know much about that, though.

Often times it is the way a person's faults and strengths work together that generates a certain aura of personality. But even beyond personality... there is... well, it's better if you really know someone, but beyond personality there is something, and essence, that you can sort of feel.

I don't want to say "soul", but that is a possible interpretation.


-----

(laughing to my self - "Soul Squall" / "Dream Landscaper")
I suppose that is an inside "joke", and I'm the only one on the inside... but maybe it will come out in the wash later...

 

[For Honor]

Chapter II


Bill



Bill, my man
Bill Bill Bill....
I've heard about it, his... glamourous... purity
He flexed it on me, at last

Was he looking at me, questioning ME?
When he said "You know, I've never done drugs in my whole life?"
Don't worry, I won't question your straight arrow
But your pride...

Just because you saw me cry, for some reason,
I am compelled to say "That doesn't mean you're a father figure"
However

Despite this hitch, a fine person you are. The rift, though, is not your doing, not at all.
It has nothing to do with you, and that's fine, Bill.
Bill, you know what?
It would be good to work the summer down there, teach me how to build
I'll have to take you up on that, in some day, in some way.

You invest in your home, and that is respectible
Perhaps you remind me of myself
Or perhaps you remind me of something I don't want to become.

Bill, for whatever reason...
I respect you, but it seems as though you are getting on my nerves lately.

You're the only "Bill" I know, so that's kind of odd. When I think of you, I don't know what to say. But you've your chapter just the same.


... oh yes, that's right. I remember now.
It's the alpha male thing...
I see you as competition, or you see me, I'm not sure...

**edit - added in as afterthought**
(((You were right, I am a man of contrast. You are at the same time an adversary, yet... one of the few who understands me, and has seen "my writting"... so oddly enough, another twist for the two of us.




- -

In fact... well... I'll save that for chapter III

========================================


Wow, completely different from the first chapter. But such a different energy, such a different person in my life, Bill is...

 

[For Honor]

This one is a little different.
This one might be longer, because it is of how a group of people interacted together for a period of time.

===========================

Chapter III
alias = things we do not say/the roles that we play




Sex symbol
My oh my
Don't go swimming in the pool
My oh my
Alpha Male, competence
(Yeah, capable of you know what)

Everyone feels older now, for her the big 4-0
It's now their time for sit-and-reminice
Yet I'm not one of them...

I'll play with the kids, but I'm not one of them, either.
Though I must say I did so smile
When I played catch with a 5 year old who adored me
Standing less than 20 centimeters appart, throwing a plush football back and forth
That made me smile, yes it did

But her, too....
The women seem to gravitate
I'm not sure what it is...

...

Elders leave early, too much for them
Their feeble
The defiant one leaves, left, as he always did
Never liked to be around his family much
"Never liked the weather"
Stories of him, it's no wonder
Why he used to cry
Why he know flies
(To : far away)

Elders and the defiant one, yes, they leave early
I staid and played my role, oh my role, yes my role.
I watched cabin 2, the misfortunate one, taking care of too much, too much.
I watched cabin one, and yes, it was fun... mmm... I like it when things are made for me

That other cabin, over there... well...
Impatiend are we?
is it "in the family?"


never you mind
It's left behind, anyways
I shouldn't reminisce....

It's not my time yet.

=========

eh, funky
I don't like this one, but i needed to get it out of the way...

 

[For Honor]

Chapter IV

alias = tempting...



Always so happy to see me...
I have to cover some things, because it's so tempting
Good thing you don't know what I think about you.

Brownies made for me, I adore it.
Good to those ones you love, I know it.
All the more a reason for an... inclination

Someone else was right, you are hugable
"Don't you just want to give her a hug?
It's like she needs one"
Yes, yes she does.

Sitting next to me?
A little too close...
Oh, but it was bad... at the pool...
I remember asking you "so is it dusk yet?"
It's so bad, though, because I would have liked to have had you come in

Stupid little turn ons, here and there
I was the only one brave enough to take care of that pest, the one that scarred you
I can't take it, how you look up to me for those sorts of things...
It's too tempting

but I'm so glad you're treated like a princess, because you do deserve it.
So sweet your care, the little things, the special things
- You earn it.

So cute in a sweater
Bug bites on your feet?
And you take the time to show me
Yeah...

I've.... got an itch...

 

[For Honor]

chapter V

alias = lost friend



Hey, I know you
Happy to see
Well, I knew you
You knew me

Hows the band going?
I am so sorry to be gone
Gone so much.... the whole year we've grown apart

You're one of those... those independant people
You like to be around, but you're aloof in a bad way.
All these archers in my life... what is it?
Good thing I didn't follow my fathers footsteps too much - I'm stronger than that, thankfully
Don't get too illusioned, friend. The world is a strange place

Keep stroking that guitar, though...
But I admit, I think I should have been a back up singer, or at least dual lead with you. But hey, my path and yours are not the same anymore, no more...

It's odd to see a friend come and go. So close, so far away. A last shroud (only) of my childhood, I share that with you. I didn't care so much back then, in that summer I went to your house a lot. Your sister said I was almost as cute as ...

as who?
Hah hah hah... and remember, remember Mr. X?
That scary, bastard of a man? He scarred her so much, and us too. Coming out of nowhere in that video game.

"He's gonna get ya!" hah hah hah
She always ran behind me, your litter sister. I hope she's doing well now. Don't forget to be a good big brother, she's young still, my friend. Your responsibility got in the way, or lack there of. But just a little. You always seemed... no....

The thing I dislike most
Is my distance... as always. I'm sorry to have gotten close
Because I knew I'd never be able to stay that way. And I hate to come and go
I hate to come and go

But I did.

-----------------------------

another testement to...
what I don't understand about my life....

 

[For Honor]

I seem to be going off track a little bit...
it's unavoidible, because often times relationships in my life, to this point, have reflected my own "solitude" in one way. But I will make an effort to make it less about me, and more about that person;s essence.

====================

VI

alias = little man


Little man, I don't know where that name came from
But you've got lots of potential.
Don't let your older brother get to you too much
It's going to be weird being the middle child in your family. I would suggest finding a hobby unique for yourself -
(wink wink -- baseball)

What an arm!
Seeing you grow up, I like your destiney. You remind me of me in some ways, you do
You'll be old enough someday, just remember
I know I've been saying that for a while...

Surrounded by a good family, with a good memory, you'll grow up well, and you could be more than your brother
.... he doesn't like being the older one, so perhaps you can be the responsible one
...later on in your life.

"You" are still a mystery
The Fire Horse hasn't influence you too much, but you will be old enough to remember
How the Union ended, just a little
You will ask me one day
"What about him, he was my uncle, right?"

I wonder what I'll say to you, years from now, little man.
I'll try to keep in touch....

..I'll try to be more
than the example set for me of this situation...

 

[For Honor]

note - go back and explain how the fire horse effected everone

 

[wizard2c]

reply

Still can not get over the feeling that there is so much that is wrong....and so little that's right........it has to do with time again.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

Re: reply

Still can not get over the feeling that there is so much that is wrong....and so little that's right........it has to do with time again.

carol
wizard2c

What are you refering to?


I just found out something rather ... unsettling today.
I'm writing this at 4 in the morning, and it seems once again that things... have a way.


The Inasuspicious Fire Horse...

 

[For Honor]

Time, you say?

For me... time is relapsing, the patterns are overlapping.

It's like things are in a standstill, yet... going backwards and forwards at the same time. Regressing, progressing. I don't know...

I don't know...

There's a lot going on, but it will come out.
I'm going to be online a lot lately.


I am officially,
and seriously

on guard duty

 

[For Honor]

Note - On guard duty until monday

Next chapter is...........

 

[For Honor]

VII

You worry me


===



Yes, you
Yes, you do.
You worry me, friend.

Your eyes are not open
Your mind you keep closed
Too caught up in feeling something good
To care about anything else

Your presence exudes it
You are.... disgusting
You don't even want to move, you are lethargy
You are disgusting

I shouldn't let it irratate me, especially in her presence
But you do, you do, yes you, yes you do.
How can you live?

It isn't your fault - your parents are weak, and their guilt allows you to corrupt
And you exploit it
Lazy.... so lazy.
Selfish


You are the baby. You cry, you whine
God it's disgusting
And you think that by getting emotional
You block out reason and overlook things

Well, I'm not your mother
And I've said it before

So I don't treat you like you're my son
I treat you like the little child you are.....



God bless you
For you, out all the people I know, need it the most.
You have your whole life ahead of you, and you are not headed in the right direction

 

[For Honor]

VIII
rat in water


Clever, oh so
Clever, but a fool
chasing, always chasing, always looking
and never having
give it away, what you do have. And you give away
so much

BUt you prefer such, and I worry as your mind has been warped
tarnished........?
You are offered a house, but true to a rat, you prefer not possesions.
You are too generous, figure.

You seek the tenderness you're without, but
Only you would look for it under the stones and in the shallows
Perhaps
AS always
you're trying to find that eternal bargain
But yet
You haggle with yourself more than anyone else

Bring it back, exchange it, does it look right?
Does it look okay?
Briing it back once again
There is........ no permenance in you, is there
I wonder if you acknowledge that

Now, once again, you want what you dont have
what is unexchangable
I worry about you, too.
Because even though I see the therory, and it is clear..
practical means you're without
And you now live in a rats hole

but that's no place for a human

A dreamy world you live in
Fit, so well fit, to....... to what was prescribed for you
I wonder


Can anyone become something more than their destiny??
Once again, such a question returns to me.......

 

[For Honor]

IX

(incomplete,can't be finished, not this one)
but here goes - - let me ........ think it out



October 2


wow, it can't be!
Heh........the same
The very same
That is........ that is quite amazing
How ......... I wonder
They are the same........ October 2 ..... 19*1


Anyhow
It is hard for me to connect them
It is hard for me to distinguish them
I know only a little
But see the reflections
Of each in the other
One full cycle later
One full lifetime away
But still, they are

They both have shown me love, haven't they?
They both seem........ like good women.
But really
Really........
This is so very strange



Your birth date : October 2, 1931

Your Sign : Goat

Your Element : Metal



Happy birthday, Grandmother............

 

[For Honor]

X

Imparied



Oh....
Oh you...

I feel so bad for you
You can't hear the whispers

Such a metaphor it is
You can't even hear it... the closeness
You can barely feel it.

Through the loss of touch
And now your hearing, you can't
You can't feel the intimacy

But is it your head?
Is it all in your head?
Or are you like I were - loving without seeing
Singing without being able to hear
And caring without getting any in return...

You're such noble soul
DOn't thinkyourself simple, dear
Even if you have to shout it
The intimacy, it's there....

I just feel so ........ bad for you
For you can't even hear
The whispers in your ear.....


-=============

poorly written, but....... ...........

 

[wizard2c]

reply

For Honor, it's written well. I'm just not myself.......after I missed all the details of a prophecy I'm not content with that....I need to find time to improve myself. And my friend is not doing well......they did another test today and found some masses in her lung and her kidney is not working right..........

carol
wizard2c


And all those dead in the earthquake and those hurting there.....

 

[wizard2c]

reply

I want to go home.............so badly.................back to the quest for the ring.....at least it serves a purpose for my abilities.

carol
wizard2c

 

[For Honor]

I think in some way or another we all want to go home. I know I do.

BUt I don't know where it is, carol.

 

[For Honor]

The children


Talk out loud
Get my attention
No, not me, you're afraid of me
I cannot forget
I cannot forget you
I cannot forget you are a child

Both of you

#1 - showoff, be loud, make loud noises, etc etc
Heh
"If I do this a few more times, then I will be able to..."
Yeah yeah yeah, you talk like we are supposed to care
But I know, I know, you're just a child.
The look in your eyes reveals it as well.....

#2 the kid, the authentic child
What, you're 5? 4?
Look at me, you say. Play with the fan, turn it on
When you don't want to
Take it off the chair, so you can sit
When you don't want to
You're possesive of your parental figures, because that's your way
Spoiled, like I was, I would assume
Clingy from the separation in your life
Just a child...

And Shawna said "I've never seen a boy with so many snakes."
It is nice to see the way she cares for you, kid.
I hope you can trancend your situation, too.
Become something more.....


more than just a child, children in this world......