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Old 04-01-2001, 08:44 PM   #1
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"blue lover"

when the warm hope greeted me
a soul rush, exhilaratingly high
I strepped back to soak it in
and you left me wondering why

what is the spark, the insane connection
that lights the flame to dance in the wind
your spoiled beauty trampled me under
and left me standing where I'd never been

even if it's only a flash, a broken second
your heart is still wrapped around my mind
please don't ever go, please don't ever leave me
and I wonder if you've left me blind
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Old 04-02-2001, 05:04 AM   #2
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BG!

your poem is about what artsy people mean when they speak of the 'sublime'. Most times, the same people don't know how to explain what the 'sublime' is, but your poem certainly describes it spot on.

I like every sentence in it.

I really like how you have simplified words this time and as a result, the rhyming scheme is almost unnoticeable--full marks for subtlety!

foray

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It's the question that drives us Neo...It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

[This message has been edited by foray (edited 04-02-2001).]
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Old 04-03-2001, 01:03 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by BabyGrace:

that lights the flame to dance in the wind
I love this line, BabyG--I've always loved poetry, prose, song lyrics etc that have a lot of imagery with fire, wind, light and darkness.

If this poem is about wondering why you were ever in love with someone, but still feeling drawn to them against your will--it's perfect.
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Old 04-04-2001, 02:31 AM   #4
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try listening to "Scarlet" when you read back these beautiful words of yours BabyGrace

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Old 04-04-2001, 04:33 AM   #5
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Simply beautiful BabyG, there is something to be said for that special soul who you have had a chance to meet. Even if for only just one second, their light leaves you so stunned that it stays with you even in their absence, at least thats what i get from your poem. you used some beautiful imigary here, wish i could put my thoughts and feelings down into words the way you do. you are a big inspiration to us all!!, never stop writing..


------------------
Lest we forget;
Simple regret
reflects
a flame well spent
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Old 04-06-2001, 12:45 AM   #6
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thank you so much dreamers..

what you said Bacchus...thank you...that really means a lot

foray, you know what? I was thinking about the other one...it's not the words, its the rhythm...my syllables don't match up anywhere because if I try that I lose stuff...
I think that's why it sounds so awkward

scattero..I write tons about light-dark imagery..I think it accounts for at least half my writing..

Wanderer, that sounded really awesome..
when I first read that, I didn't think it would but then again, you seem to have a talent for finding the combinations
thank you

hmm...Im tired I tried to post another but my comp is being abusive and won't let me post pasted messages so...
good night people

[This message has been edited by BabyGrace (edited 04-05-2001).]
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