Bed Love

[oliveu2cm]

Bed Love

Autumnal afternoons arrive
off fingers of our summer night.
Smiles stretch like my body
across your lips.
You dance along
the edge of my bed and
we listen again.

Silently you memorize
your eyes tirelessly drawing me
inside your circle.
Rain sounds like Christmas
lights around pine. By a kiss
we laugh. Night outside slips
past like a stranger
who missed her chance.

 

[adamswildhoney]

thats really good

 

[famous rungi]

Silently you memorize
your eyes tirelessly drawing me
This is just like how I try and memorize my friends' faces by mentally drawing them...

inside your circle
Clever.

Actually I like all the lines in this poem.

Night outside slips
past like a stranger
who missed her chance.
I'm in just the right mood to read this stuff.

Nice work, olive.

 

[oliveu2cm]

thanks

Thanks AWH & fr, for your comments.

Actually I like all the lines in this poem.

this.. thanks,

I actually added another line, last night. Two the second stanza. My original is at home but if I remember correctly this is how it goes:

Silently you memorize
your eyes tirelessly drawing me
inside your circle.
Rain sounds like Christmas
lights around pine. By a kiss
we laugh. Your shoulders my horizon.
Night outside slips
past like a stranger
who missed her chance.

 

[diamond]

Very nice Olive

diamond