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Old 07-11-2002, 08:20 AM   #1
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"arrested"

I am a criminal imprisoned by
the bars my mind forges in front of me
and my only sin lies
in how badly I want to be you;

written words stifling
what I really want is what could kill me
I am just glass
transparent in my needs
and what is not me
shying away from any hope and daring myself to slide
making living seem so mundane
become just a pair of eyes
made to follow you
digging little holes to hide my head in,
scratching little wounds to shelter my soul in;
a pitted and scarred face
lunar in all its beauty,
possessed in all its madness;

in between I am caught and
you are so perfect;
no one could ever live
up to my image of you.
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Old 07-11-2002, 01:37 PM   #2
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BabyGrace that is seriously awesome! I hardly know what
to say but it's just so expressive!
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Old 07-13-2002, 11:19 AM   #3
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a pitted and scarred face
lunar in all its beauty


ver clever lines

now I want to say this is about struggling with the notion of God and Christ, and trying to live up to that image, whilst feeling guilty and inadequate, and there's some darkness in your words that suggest something else as well, though I'm not quite sure what... do you think life is a "captive state" of sorts? (borrowing that term from an author who escapes my mind at present), and a captive state that leaves one closer to sin and Satan than God and purity?
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Old 07-13-2002, 12:03 PM   #4
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digging little holes to hide my head in,
scratching little wounds to shelter my soul in


wow
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Old 07-14-2002, 12:32 AM   #5
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lunar in all its beauty,
possessed in all its madness;


Very nice poem, BabyGrace.

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Old 07-14-2002, 05:53 PM   #6
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thank you so much everyone for responding!

wow, Wanderer, I didn't even think about God as the subject of this, but I see where it could be interpreted that way, with the use of the word sin (which was originally crime), and the perfection of the person addressed. the perfection was meant to be in the mind of the narrator though, in a way where someone elevates someone else to the point where they obsess over them and can see no wrong in them, and trying to measure up to them only leaves the narrator feeling inadequate and demoralized. I think you just made my poem a whole lot cooler than it really is!

as for your question, I'm not sure what you mean by a captive state...whether in the way that life forces people into an action that is sinful, or in the way that people are drawn to sinful behavior by nature... or in another way? yes, though, I do believe that life certainly brings people closer to the darker side of things, I just haven't really thought about it as a captive state. the imprisonment in the poem is more mental than physical, if that's what you were getting at. I'm curious what you mean. sorry I can't answer that any better!
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