Alright, 1 more into the line of fire...

[pop_mofo]

Opinions please...

Snow Falling

it's so amazing
sitting here, all alone
feeling lonely
But not being alone
sometimes feels worse

today I watched snow fall
it fell, cold and white
then it became nothing
that day started like that
something to hold on to
suddenly gone
real to surreal

and now this
sitting here
whispering to myself
laughing and crying
and remembering
what snow looks like
before it becomes nothing.

 

[pop_mofo]

Does anyone have any comments? I am curius for feedback on this piece.

Peace on Earth.

 

[Bonochick]

Originally posted by pop_mofo:
sitting here, all alone
feeling lonely
But not being alone
sometimes feels worse

So true...so true...

Very lovely work. It really struck a chord with me.


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PLEBA: It's Just A Stinkin' Forum!!!!!!! Yeesh!!!!!!!

 

[zooropamanda]

Final lines that bring a piece home are always what I love.
You did that really well here.

and remembering
what snow looks like
before it becomes nothing.

 

[scatteroflight]

Originally posted by pop_mofo:

and now this
sitting here
whispering to myself
laughing and crying
and remembering
what snow looks like
before it becomes nothing.

Yes, I love the last lines...



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"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." -Zaphod Beeblebrox