Wierd: I am very scared of dogs....

[Babydoll]

I am not afraid of anything else in this world but unleashed dogs. The bigger the dog, the more scared I am, but generally I dislike all sizes. It's wierd becoz if they are on leash or behind a barrier I'm ok, I can deal with it. However, if I see one unleashed, my knees shake and my "flight or fight response" kicks in. I immediately want to escape. To somewhere where it can't get to me. And what I absolutely HATE is: the owner saying "Oh it's friendly it won't hurt you "

I'm like I don't CARE if it's "friendly"... etc. I just cannot be around any loose dogs. I've never been bitten or anything, just been terrified of them ever since I can remember! I like watching dog shows on TV and all the programs on Animal Planet that are dog related, but in real life.... Keep dogs of all sizes and shapes away from me!

Any ideas why?

 

[U2Kitten]

I used to be deadly afraid of dogs. When I was 3, I saw a little boy I was playing with mauled in the face by a dog. My parents put up a chain link fence just because of my fear of dogs. In those days in my neighborhood, they ran loose all the time.

But over time I had gotten over it and realized not all dogs, like not all people. are bad. They all have their own temperments, personalities, and tendencies. You just have to warm up enough to them to find out which is which. As you approach a dog, if he's mean, or afraid of strangers, he'll snarl and bark, while a friendly one will wag his tail, whine and start rolling around. Also some dogs are very protective of their owners so they might act mean until they get to know you.

Here's some tips: DO NOT SMILE! I used to do this, and wondered why dogs growled at me. Then I found out that baring of teeth is a sign of aggression to dogs, so when you smile bigger and bigger, they see you as a bigger and bigger threat! Don't let them sense your fear, and don't scream and run- this will make them feel threatened and they're more likely to chase you down. If you act like you don't care, or if you just seem friendly, they'll mostly be okay with you. Whenever I meet a dog, I call him 'buddy' and talk to him in a squeaky voice and try to pet him. Most of them warm up right away, even if they were barking.

I really think it's sad how many people say they dislike dogs, or cats, or both, because of a 'bad childhood experience'. (I know this isn't you, babydoll, just adding it) My daughter has a friend who is terrified of cats because she said her Grandma was attacked by one as a kid. What, so all cats are bad? Cats don't generally attack. It's weird how people hold this stuff against all animals and tar them with the same brush when PEOPLE do even worse! Have you ever seen anyone say they were scared of people because some of them are murderers? Why hold one incident against them all? I had a 'bad childhood experience' too but I didn't let it ruin my life with animals.

Most fear is usually based on, I won't say ignorance, but unfamiliarity with an animal. I don't know how many people I've heard say they 'hate' cat or dogs, but can't tell you why, they 'just do.' It's sad but I think some families harbor and pass on unfounded fear and/or hatred of certain animals and it carries out into the world that way and it's so sad because so many animals go unloved, or even mistreated, because of it. If people would just get to know them, they might like them.

 

[Chizip]

I can relate, I'm very scared of U2Man

 

[Babydoll]

I do understand that, but I also know that dogs can sense fear in humans, and thus they take advantage of that even before I make an attempt to do something about it. I saw one the other day, a small Doberman and the owner encouraged me to at least pet it. My heart was racing and my knees were shaking but I tried...and the dog made a little growling sound and I retreated....far back.

If they can sense the initial fear then there is no chance for me to try and do something... the fear is stronger than anything.

 

[U2Kitten]

I really do understand how you just can't stop feeling afraid, I was like that too. I hope someday it will get better as you get to know more dogs. Maybe the owners can help.

You think it's weird to be afraid of dogs? I can't believe people who are afraid of CATS, and think they're going to 'attack' or 'bite' and run from them! They know nothing about cats. How sad.

 

[Babydoll]

Thanks

It doesn't help that here in the US, there are plenty of dogs and where I live is a suburban resedential area a little away from school, so almost everyone has a dog or two. And since it's summer, most people are out walking them, leashed or leashless.
I really wish I wouldn't mind, but I freak out on seeing the leashless ones.

 

[U2Man]

boooooooh

 

[Babydoll]

 

[Liesje]

I was scared too, and look at me I'm adopting a German Shepherd! I probably wasn't as scared as you, but I understand what you're saying and what you're feeling. They look nice, you know they're not going to rip you apart, and on TV you see them and think it's not so bad, but then you meet one in real life and you freeze.

I cured my hesitation and low confidence around dogs almost instantly - I started volunteering to walk them at the local shelter. It's not so much that you need to "get over" your fear, but that you need more situations where you can establish confidence in yourself and see how easy it is to establish leadership over the dog. At the shelter, YOU decide which dog to walk, YOU decide when it comes out the door, YOU decide what activities you will do - you're in control the entire time, so it feels totally different than meeting a large dog on the street and being expected to smile and pet it while it's pawing and snapping at you.

It's not so much that they sense fear, but they read your body language as being hesitant and backing away, and then they know that you aren't the leader. They don't think "She's SCARED let's KILL her!", they think "What? She doesn't want to give me a leash correction or tell me what to do? I guess that makes me the leader....?"

Like Kitten said, don't smile or even talk nice to them. Don't be mean, but if you're smiling, acting submissive, and talking to them gently while they are growling and getting all excited by you, your niceness only reinforces their bad behavior. When they act up, don't back away, but don't look at them and just pretend they are not there. If they settle down and sit calmly, then you can say "Oh hi, baby! Good doggy!" and scratch its head.

If you need more specific things to try, feel free to PM me. I was bit by a rottweiler when I was three and I was attacked and bitten over and over again by a large dog Thursday night, so I'm not going to tell you it's dumb to be afraid of them, but I've learned how to work on my own confidence and body language and how the dog reads this when checking you out.

 

[U2Fanatic4ever]

I was scared too, and look at me I'm adopting a German Shepherd! I probably wasn't as scared as you, but I understand what you're saying and what you're feeling. They look nice, you know they're not going to rip you apart, and on TV you see them and think it's not so bad, but then you meet one in real life and you freeze.

I cured my hesitation and low confidence around dogs almost instantly - I started volunteering to walk them at the local shelter. It's not so much that you need to "get over" your fear, but that you need more situations where you can establish confidence in yourself and see how easy it is to establish leadership over the dog. At the shelter, YOU decide which dog to walk, YOU decide when it comes out the door, YOU decide what activities you will do - you're in control the entire time, so it feels totally different than meeting a large dog on the street and being expected to smile and pet it while it's pawing and snapping at you.

It's not so much that they sense fear, but they read your body language as being hesitant and backing away, and then they know that you aren't the leader. They don't think "She's SCARED let's KILL her!", they think "What? She doesn't want to give me a leash correction or tell me what to do? I guess that makes me the leader....?"

Like Kitten said, don't smile or even talk nice to them. Don't be mean, but if you're smiling, acting submissive, and talking to them gently while they are growling and getting all excited by you, your niceness only reinforces their bad behavior. When they act up, don't back away, but don't look at them and just pretend they are not there. If they settle down and sit calmly, then you can say "Oh hi, baby! Good doggy!" and scratch its head.

If you need more specific things to try, feel free to PM me. I was bit by a rottweiler when I was three and I was attacked and bitten over and over again by a large dog Thursday night, so I'm not going to tell you it's dumb to be afraid of them, but I've learned how to work on my own confidence and body language and how the dog reads this when checking you out.

Very well said Lies!

Facing your fears and building your confidence is the best thing to do. I think it is a good idea to volunteer at a shelter. Learning how to be in control.. and that you are the one who has it will help you understand what your fear stems from.

Liesje is the next Dog Whisperer!! Look out Ceasar!!

 

[yolland]

Or for a more softpedal, if pricier, version of what Lies is describing, you could try one of these phobia/anxiety workshops or courses (check the Yellow Pages; almost any community will have at least a few clinics that offer them). Different ones use different tactics, but most commonly they start by talking through your fears and then culminate in a "desensitization" process where for example a local dog trainer might bring in one of his/her calmest dogs and then you get a chance to practice standing close to it, petting it, and taking the leash yourself and walking it around for awhile (or walking with it off the leash). Obviously not all dogs are as well-trained, confident and calm as the sort of dogs they'd use for something like that, but that's not the point; the point is for you to see that you can do it--you can put yourself into that situation and come through it without panicking and making it more unpleasant, and potentially more dangerous, for everyone involved. Because that's really the problem--you're sabotaging the situation for yourself from the get-go and preventing yourself from having reasoned reactions which actually suit the situation...which as Lies mentioned, might well mean simply ignoring the dog if it acts tense or aggressive; that may or may not make the dog all calm and friendly, but it does give you back control of the situation, rather than relinquishing it to panic, which never, ever helps, no matter what, and as such is always uncalled for.

 

[LemonMelon]

I have this same fear. I've been bitten at least twice, and attacked more times than that. Dogs run loose here all the time, and it's absolutely ridiculous!

On the other hand, I love dogs. I'm getting another one soon, and I love my other dog. They're great! I love my own dogs, but loose ones...

 

[Babydoll]

Thanks Liesje and U2Fanatic4ever!

But there is always that fear of the unknown - the what if factor. What if the doggy doesn't like me, what if it'll snap, etc. it's just the unpredictability that gets to me. If I ever do walk one (huuuuuuuuuuge step for me!!) I'll be always be like 'what if this, what if that'

Fear is the worst emotion ever.... so irrational.

 

[Babydoll]

Also, the physical symptoms outweigh my mental attempts to calm myself...My knees shake and my heart pounds instinctively on seeing an unleashed dog, the bigger it is, the more intense the response in me.

 

[Liesje]

But there is always that fear of the unknown - the what if factor. What if the doggy doesn't like me, what if it'll snap, etc. it's just the unpredictability that gets to me. If I ever do walk one (huuuuuuuuuuge step for me!!) I'll be always be like 'what if this, what if that'

This is the part that needs work. There should not ever be an unknown when walking a dog. They don't like or dislike people, they either obey or they don't. They don't have human emotions or human reactions. Being submissive to a dog makes the dog hyper, anxious, aggressive, etc because they don't want to be the leader. They are much happier when people tell them what to do. Dogs don't like making decisions.

If a dog is truly unpredictable, it's not a dog that's ready to be someone's pet. That's why the shelters and rescue groups temperament test dogs. If someone got their dog from a breeder and it has an unpredictable temperament, that's not your fault, the dog does not belong in a home where it has access to meeting strangers.

If I were you and I really wanted to get over this fear, I'd start by finding an obedience class I could audit. Audit means you go to the class, but don't take a dog. Volunteering at a shelter is also good (what did it for me), but honestly I don't recommend jumping right into this with out some other form of exposure first. Shelter dogs tend to be very high strung and more difficult to control because of their environment. Dogs were not created to be kept by themselves in small cement kennels all day. I'd hate for you to have a bad experience there and be taking steps backward. If you have a PetSmart nearby, see if they are having and obedience classes and see if you can watch or even pay to be a part of the class.

It would also be good for you to see some dogs doing what they do naturally. Go to an agility competition and watch those dogs. Go to herding trials and watch the shepherds and collies do their thing. Maybe there's a Big Air competition and you can watch the retrievers jump.

You can also carry something that makes you feel safer. For me, it's wearing leather gloves. If I think a dog looks snappy or will play bite, I wear leather gloves and don't have to worry about him missing the toy and grabbing my hand. If you want to go for a walk to meet some dogs, carry some Direct Stop spray in your pocket. You don't have to use it, but just knowing it's there can take away some of the worry.

Honestly though, if I were you I'd start by exposing myself to dogs in controlled situations. Approaching and unleashed dog belonging to a stranger can even get me worked up inside. That will only reinforce your fear and your lack of control. This concept is what helped me the most - when I'm at the kennel, or dog-sitting someone's dog, I am in control of the situation. It's different than going for a walk and being met by a rottweiler and an owner who I don't trust has control of his dog.

 

[Bono's Betty]

You think it's weird to be afraid of dogs? I can't believe people who are afraid of CATS, and think they're going to 'attack' or 'bite' and run from them! They know nothing about cats. How sad.

Hey, I'm afraid of cats!!

 

[Liesje]

I'm not afraid of cats or dogs, but if I had to choose one, I'm more hesitant around stranger's cats than stranger's dogs. Cats are more unpredictable, independent, and don't respond to human leadership the way a dog does. If I go to someone's house and there is a cat that is new to me, I give the cat a lot more space than if the person has a dog.

 

[redhotswami]

cats are out to get me. i'm not paranoid, this is true. it's like, they KNOW i am allergic to them, and even the nonsocial ones get all up in my face!! they aren't like this to my other friends. just ME! one time i was spending the night at a friend's place, and i woke up in the middle of the night and the damn cat was sitting on my chest staring directly at me.

it was like cat's eye...but with the cat instead of the troll thing.

i used to be afraid of dogs. as much as i loved dogs, i was afraid of them. then dad got one, so that fear went out of the window. now i love them!

 

[Babydoll]

Cats are my thing as Liesje mentioned, they are independent and do not approach you. I don't like dogs primarily because they approach you and come close and sniff you, etc. If I retreat a step, they follow me. I know I'm wierd as I like animals who tend to "mind their own business" such as cats, reptiles, etc. I like reptiles, strangely. It's JUST dogs I fear/dislike.

 

[BoMac]

I can relate, I'm very scared of U2Man

No offense to U2Man but this made me laugh.

 

[Got Philk?]

Liesje is the next Dog Whisperer!! Look out Ceasar!!

Possibly more true than we even know. But hey, whatever makes her happy!

 

[redhotswami]

Cats are my thing as Liesje mentioned, they are independent and do not approach you.

I thought so too! But cats don't seem to leave me alone. Why are they always following me, and watching me in my sleep

 

[kimby]

cats are out to get me. i'm not paranoid, this is true. it's like, they KNOW i am allergic to them, and even the nonsocial ones get all up in my face!! they aren't like this to my other friends. just ME! one time i was spending the night at a friend's place, and i woke up in the middle of the night and the damn cat was sitting on my chest staring directly at me.

it was like cat's eye...but with the cat instead of the troll thing.

i

That's what cats do, find the one person in the room that doesn't like them and sit on their lap or something!

The solution: start liking them (they'll start ignoring you ).

 

[Liesje]

Cats are my thing as Liesje mentioned, they are independent and do not approach you. I don't like dogs primarily because they approach you and come close and sniff you, etc. If I retreat a step, they follow me. I know I'm wierd as I like animals who tend to "mind their own business" such as cats, reptiles, etc. I like reptiles, strangely. It's JUST dogs I fear/dislike.

In this case, it may be more of dislike and inexperience. It sounds like dogs are not the right animal for you, which is fine, but you're probably not going to encounter a well-balanced dog that will not sniff you or want to follow you. Sniffing is really important to them, and they want to follow because they are a pack animal and will follow the leader (or become the leader of no one else does). A dog that is completely disinterested in an approaching stranger is a big red flag, that's not a natural behavior. They should notice you, and then the handler should direct the dog to either stop looking at you and keep walking, sit and let you approach it, or any number of things. It sounds like you are encountering owners that haven't properly trained the dogs. I read this saying today "The most dangerous dog is the one whose owner says 'he doesn't bite!'" All dogs bite, but only when they aren't told not to.

 

[Babydoll]

Liesje:

You should be an animal psychologist or at the very least, a vet! I think that is pretty much it, I tend to dislike animals/people enroaching/invading on my personal space. But what does one do when the dog approaches you/sniffs you? If I show fear, it doesn't bode well for the situation. If I try to act normal, the dog will carry on. Also, the flight or fight response in me kicks in even before I rationally think of the situation.... The need to escape, primarily. I don't know what it is, to be honest. Something rooted deep down into my sub-conscious.... To add to the wierdness, I love wolves. We had a field trip somewhere a while ago and saw some wolves and I really wanted to get close to them. So it's just domestic dogs.

<----- wierd.

 

[AtomicBono]

cats are out to get me. i'm not paranoid, this is true. it's like, they KNOW i am allergic to them, and even the nonsocial ones get all up in my face!! they aren't like this to my other friends. just ME! one time i was spending the night at a friend's place, and i woke up in the middle of the night and the damn cat was sitting on my chest staring directly at me.

I know the feeling, I am also very allergic to cats but none of the cats I ever encounter seem to take that into consideration

as for dogs...well first of all I don't think dogs should be unleashed ever (unless they're in a fenced yard or a house obviously). Sometimes dogs do escape, but it really bugs me when owners purposely let their dogs run loose. So I don't think your fear is totally irrational, since an unleashed dog is technically not under anyone's control.

so I assume you've never had a dog babydoll? My little sister used to be terrified of dogs. she was interested in them, but actually seeing one up close really scared her, no matter how small or docile it was. but then we dogsat this dog for awhile, and this dog was amazing. she was still sort of a puppy (like a year or two old), so she was pretty energetic. But she somehow sensed my sister's apprehension and was not at all aggressive with her. She would just sit close by and wait for my sister to come to her. she'd roughhouse with me but was very gentle with my sister (size could also be a factor; my sister was very young). this dog pretty much single-handedly got my sister over her fear, and now she LOVES dogs.

I don't know if it'd be the same for you since you're not a four-year old, but I think the same general idea could apply...you need some sort of positive experience with a dog. try one of the anxiety classes like yolland suggested, or maybe talk to a friend with a dog. I think nervousness near unleashed dogs is natural, but panic is not. I usually just ignore them, even if they're really cute and I want to pet them, because I don't know anything about that dog. but it might be harder to ignore the dog if you haven't had experience in dominating a dog.

Liesje has definitely given some excellent insight and advice in this thread any tips on owning a dog? I'm considering getting one for the first time...

 

[anitram]

any tips on owning a dog? I'm considering getting one for the first time...

I've had a dog pretty much my entire life. My parents have owned, in this order: a German Shepherd and then two Collies (not at the same time). So I've never owned small dogs and I am not really a big fan of small dogs, but that's just a personal preference.

If you are an outdoors person and you're active, and have enough space, I'd get a large, active dog. Any of the dogs in the herding group are great, generally. If you're not that active but still want a large dog, then something like a St. Bernard or Great Dane would do. My best friend has owned those and they are wonderful pets but really lazy (I can't even tell you how lazy a St. Bernard is - unbelievable), so you wouldn't have to take them on super long walks and they wouldn't tear up your house with all that extra energy.

I personally prefer males to females, they are in my experience friendlier and more relaxed, as strange as that sounds. Females are more protective and more suspicious and a bit less playful and silly (perhaps like women, haha).

We always bought from a reputable breeder, never a pet store. We've also always owned purebreds, but if you don't care to have the specific characteristics of a breed, you can get awesome mixed breed dogs. Choosing a breed of dog is really important though, as they have their quirks, they differ hugely in size and so on.

Owning a dog is a HUGE responsibility. It's nothing like owning a cat, especially if you have a large dog. They are a problem when you want to travel - lots of people don't want to leave their dogs in kennels but at the same time whereas your friends might not mind watching a cat for 2 weeks, a 100 lb dog is another matter. Plus, dogs do not really adjust well without their owners around. They are also expensive to own, particularly if you buy them as puppies (which we always did). Food is expensive for large dogs who eat a lot, vet bills can add up and I'd really very VERY strongly recommend you get yourself pet insurance ASAP. It's expensive, and good plans can run you $50/month, but it will save you a whole lot of grief longterm.

Dogs are the best animals around, IMO, and I can't imagine not owning one. They are something special. Mine is sitting next to me now.

 

[AtomicBono]

I personally prefer males to females, they are in my experience friendlier and more relaxed, as strange as that sounds. Females are more protective and more suspicious and a bit less playful and silly (perhaps like women, haha).

hahaha, I find that true of people as well, for that reason most of my friends are guys

thanks for the advice. though I do like bigger dogs a lot, we have an apartment (but the landlord said we can get a dog ) so a small to medium size dog is better. I don't care for those toy dogs or dogs with weird long hair fur mixed with no hair or smushed faces or whatever. I want a dog that looks like a dog. and probably a lazy dog, though I like going for long walks so exercise for the dog wouldn't be too much of a problem.

breed wise i'm liking the idea of a beagle a lot, though we may end up going for a mixed breed. still undecided on whether we should get a puppy or a dog. it'd be nice to not have to deal with the whole training thing (well I suppose you have to train an adult dog too, but not as much), but I'd assume puppies would be more likely to bond with you (plus they're just soooo cute! )

anyway, sorry to derail the thread, thanks for the advice i've just wanted a dog my whole life but never really had the chance to have one. we had a really hyper border collie for a few months when I was much younger but we ended up getting rid of him he was insanely hyper...

 

[U2Man]

uh, the choice is very obvious, atomicbono:

lazy and food-loving beyond comprehension.

 

[Babydoll]

St. Bernands are huge, gosh. Our neighbour has one and he is MASSIVE.