Bono's shades said:
My personal favorite is "Don't take offense, but..." If you feel the need to put in that qualifier, I think it's a pretty good bet what you are about to say is going to make me want to punch you in the nose.
Or when people use that form to try and coerce you into doing something: 'I don't want to pressure you, but' or 'Now, you don't need to listen to this, but' and 'You're in no way obligated to do this, but', etc.
If you're using the above form to ask a favour of someone... just don't. I hate it when people a) preface it with 'I
need you to do something for me': its not that you 'need' anything, but that you 'want' someone to do it so that you don't have to; and b) don't try to guilt people into doing it and pretend to be all hurt when they (who really have no stake in your business) refuse: this something is usually something that you didn't seem to think was significant enough to plan for, and now its biting you in the ass, its not their problem to deal with.
Relating that to what I said earlier, if someone says the above and they're not asking a favour, if they're a boss or someone issuing instructions or something... I hate it because of the uncertainty. Be
clear about what you want. If you try to pass off this wishywashy bullshit as guidance, you're going to find that nothing gets done, and more to the point that it doesn't get done the way you want it done (quality wise). I'd rather I and everyone around me know what the hell is expected and not be operating under a bunch of maybe-this and if-you-feel-like-it-that.
I wish people had spine enough to commit to something and then stick to it. Even if it turns out to be a huge mistake, I'd rather see something be done emphatically wrong than sortof okay passable mostly right but noone really knows. It's hard to make corrections and ammendments and find accountability in a muddle of lukewarm uncertain crap; and that said, it's hard to make any progress and move forward when you waste so much time trying to sort through the BS afterwards when things could have been done clearly in the first place.
That's why the "just" bit is in there, I think.
