oliveu2cm
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
My best friend and I are facing a problem: one of our friends, "Courtney." We met Courtney when we were college seniors (2 years ago). She had a long term (3 year) boyfriend at the time, whom she spent most of her hours with. Fast forward to last year when Courtney and said boyfriend finally break up (around the 4 year mark). This guy was a complete dipshit, manipulative, mind-controlling guy. He didn't consider her in his life plans (moved out of state to "save money" by living in NYC for a year, delaying graduation. They'd also spent a few years apart w/ each of them studying abroad while in college). Anyway he was possessive and controlling. It's a good thing it ended. Courtney took it HARD.
Suddenly Courtney is around all the time. Unlike ever before. Fine- we have a great time with her. But about 5 months later she met another guy. (Here's the deal, Courtney can't be by herself. Exbf was still in the picture all the time and Courtney doesnt know what to do blah blah *drama* and I asked her - "what do you want?" To which she replied "I want to be loved."
) So once new boyfriend is around, Courtney starts ditching her friends (mind you, my bestfriend and I are the only girls she hangs out with). We plan parties, she won't bring her boyfriend to. We plan fondu parties just for the girls- she goes to visit her boyfriend on a Friday so she can come to the party on a Saturday, and calls us up Sat night bailing. And so forth. Fine. To be honest we're learning at this point what a drama queen she can be, and how she can NEVER be satisfied. She'd complain about her job in one breath and when we agreed with her she'd defend it til she was blue in the face. 
(passive aggressive tendancies..)
Then some shit starting to go down. My boyfriend was very ill recently and her reaction to him being in the hospital was "oh really" (on IM to my friend. no "??!!? Oh no are they okay?" kind of stuff.) okay.. then after speaking w/ me for 5 minutes (I was quite depressed) while he was in the hospital, I didn't hear from her again until 4 weeks later. I was pissed at her inconsideration, especially after I'd been there for breakup w/ exbf and discovery her mom getting sick, among other things. So, she's selfish. I told her as much on the phone when she kept calling, that I didn't appreciate her friendship and how she ignored me when I needed friends.
Sorry, I know this is really hard to go into here. She's had a fucked up family life (raising her mother at a young age) - she's a size 2 and was size 5 probably less than a year ago. She's been.. she had a bad experience with another controlling, manipulative guy in college. I found out the other night her mother never even knew when it happened (although Courtney told her about it 7 months after it happened or so). She constantly says she knows she's smothering her boyfriend but she just wants to be around him, needs him, etc. She's only been single for 6 months her entire (dating) life! My friend and I can't honestly think of a time we've had a serious or more than just watching movies/drinking-type conversation with her.
Well current bf just broke things off. I think it's because Courtney has the summer free and moved to be closer to him for the summer, and really and truly suffocates him. Courntey is supposedly fine about it. But the three of us went out last night for dinner, and conversation continually was dragged back to her, despite our best efforts not to. (remember, drama queen.) Oh yeah and she ate about 3 bites of a house salad for dinner, after telling us she hadn't eaten in days. (craving attention..?)
I dunno, I'm the type of person where I don't like people who suck the energy and life out of me being in my life. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me. Maybe superficially she does, but she brings me nothing. Last night I had a dream about 2 other friends I've had that did the same thing to me at the end of the friendships. There's a reason I was dreaming about them.
The thing is, I feel really bad because we are her ONLY friends. Her parents are so f'ed up. Her mom still wants her to get back w/ exbf of 5 years. (Can we keep in mind that when Courtney told this exbf how I felt when she ignored me, and when she told him how her mom doesn't like new boyfriend b/c he has money, EXbf says "your friends dont like you, your mom doesn't like you, i'm the only person who likes you." and continued to say she was being SELFISH wanting to date someone else, and even though he ended the relationship and moved to NYC, he fully expected her to be there when he got back.)
I dont know what to do. My bestfriend doens't know what to do. I want to tell Courtney we think she needs to see a therapist regarding this "need to be loved" issue- also, my friend and I aren't her therapist!! we're not here to tell her she's not fat and she "hasn't been rejected by 4 guys" - that's how she looks at it, depsite all 4 guys having seriously been horrible to her. 
Any suggestions? I wouldn't blink if this relationship ended, and I almost wish I had let it die when I was angry at her rather than take the high road and tell her why I was mad and try to resolve things.
Thanks for reading all this.
Olive
Suddenly Courtney is around all the time. Unlike ever before. Fine- we have a great time with her. But about 5 months later she met another guy. (Here's the deal, Courtney can't be by herself. Exbf was still in the picture all the time and Courtney doesnt know what to do blah blah *drama* and I asked her - "what do you want?" To which she replied "I want to be loved."
) So once new boyfriend is around, Courtney starts ditching her friends (mind you, my bestfriend and I are the only girls she hangs out with). We plan parties, she won't bring her boyfriend to. We plan fondu parties just for the girls- she goes to visit her boyfriend on a Friday so she can come to the party on a Saturday, and calls us up Sat night bailing. And so forth. Fine. To be honest we're learning at this point what a drama queen she can be, and how she can NEVER be satisfied. She'd complain about her job in one breath and when we agreed with her she'd defend it til she was blue in the face. (passive aggressive tendancies..)Then some shit starting to go down. My boyfriend was very ill recently and her reaction to him being in the hospital was "oh really" (on IM to my friend. no "??!!? Oh no are they okay?" kind of stuff.) okay.. then after speaking w/ me for 5 minutes (I was quite depressed) while he was in the hospital, I didn't hear from her again until 4 weeks later. I was pissed at her inconsideration, especially after I'd been there for breakup w/ exbf and discovery her mom getting sick, among other things. So, she's selfish. I told her as much on the phone when she kept calling, that I didn't appreciate her friendship and how she ignored me when I needed friends.
Sorry, I know this is really hard to go into here. She's had a fucked up family life (raising her mother at a young age) - she's a size 2 and was size 5 probably less than a year ago. She's been.. she had a bad experience with another controlling, manipulative guy in college. I found out the other night her mother never even knew when it happened (although Courtney told her about it 7 months after it happened or so). She constantly says she knows she's smothering her boyfriend but she just wants to be around him, needs him, etc. She's only been single for 6 months her entire (dating) life! My friend and I can't honestly think of a time we've had a serious or more than just watching movies/drinking-type conversation with her.
Well current bf just broke things off. I think it's because Courtney has the summer free and moved to be closer to him for the summer, and really and truly suffocates him. Courntey is supposedly fine about it. But the three of us went out last night for dinner, and conversation continually was dragged back to her, despite our best efforts not to. (remember, drama queen.) Oh yeah and she ate about 3 bites of a house salad for dinner, after telling us she hadn't eaten in days. (craving attention..?)
I dunno, I'm the type of person where I don't like people who suck the energy and life out of me being in my life. I don't have time for people who don't have time for me. Maybe superficially she does, but she brings me nothing. Last night I had a dream about 2 other friends I've had that did the same thing to me at the end of the friendships. There's a reason I was dreaming about them.
The thing is, I feel really bad because we are her ONLY friends. Her parents are so f'ed up. Her mom still wants her to get back w/ exbf of 5 years. (Can we keep in mind that when Courtney told this exbf how I felt when she ignored me, and when she told him how her mom doesn't like new boyfriend b/c he has money, EXbf says "your friends dont like you, your mom doesn't like you, i'm the only person who likes you." and continued to say she was being SELFISH wanting to date someone else, and even though he ended the relationship and moved to NYC, he fully expected her to be there when he got back.)
I dont know what to do. My bestfriend doens't know what to do. I want to tell Courtney we think she needs to see a therapist regarding this "need to be loved" issue- also, my friend and I aren't her therapist!! we're not here to tell her she's not fat and she "hasn't been rejected by 4 guys" - that's how she looks at it, depsite all 4 guys having seriously been horrible to her.
Any suggestions? I wouldn't blink if this relationship ended, and I almost wish I had let it die when I was angry at her rather than take the high road and tell her why I was mad and try to resolve things.
Thanks for reading all this.
Olive
The point where I finally had it (after years of her treating me like I was ditzy, acting as if she was better than me, and acting bitchy towards me when she had NO right to at all- i.e, trying to talk about my day and life, she'd label me as self-absorbed 
You deserve much better than that. 
