Were you ever bullied at school?

[Halifax]

All high school students would inevitably come across a situation were they would be hassled by their peers. Some just receive a few quips here and there, while others unfortunately were repeatedly hammered with taunts, insults and bullying.

Unfortunately, I was in the latter group during my high school days. I won’t go into detail of the crap I went through (otherwise it will be a very long post). But I was the quiet guy in the class, so naturally I was singled out. The worst for me was when I was in year 8 and 9: I couldn’t walk anywhere in my school without heartbreaking taunts and insults hurled at me. I was never in the “cool group”. In fact, during the early years of high school, I was right at the bottom of the student social hierarchy. One of the worst incidents was when I was pushed down a flight a stairs and I hit my knee on one of the hand railings. I had an enormous bruise on my knee for a week.

Sometimes I can’t fathom the mindset of a bully. Why would a person find joy in psychological and physically breaking another person? Probably it makes them feel good, to assert their own power, or maybe just to cover up their in insecurities with this “tough” image. Who knows?

Initially the way I dealt with this was to ignore them, but deep down inside I was suffering. Their jeers and insults kept replaying through my head. I talked about my problems with bullying with my friends and the school counselor (who just so happened to be one of the best people I have ever met! I credit him for turning my life around and raising my self confidence!)

Interestingly enough, when I reached the final couple of years in high school, a lot of my former bullies either matured and developed a conscience or dropped out. I was so surprised when some of the people who used to give me a lot of trouble turned out to be nice, well adjusted human beings.

I’ve recently graduated high school last year and am now in university. I love my course and I love my university. Just last week I lay down on my bed and thought “I’ve forgotten how much my life rocks”. I no longer have a “burning hatred” for those who wronged me. Ever since I discovered Buddhism, which teaches that negative feelings such as hurt and anger and hate can make us contract and close up and can even make us feel sick, I’ve forgiven some of my former bullies.

So did you ever experienced bullying during your school days?

 

[Palace_Hero]

Are you white? Out of interest, because I'm sure it isn't a widespread occourance that young white Australian males(?) become Buddhist converts. Good for you finding a faith that makes you happy that isn't really 'major' in our country. Takes balls and I'm sure lends even more legitimacy to its value for you.

I was a bit of a bully in my early years. I'm not a big tough fellow, nor a weedy 'geek'. I was more the goodlooking one with the humour. Admittedly I tended to use this humour in incorrect ways, using others as stages. However ironically as I became more popular and 'cool' up to about year 10, I became less of a bully, and more just the general class clown.

By the end of school I kept the psycological bullying traits I'd used in Years 8 and 9, and focussed them on people who deserved it. I am talking the people who particuarly wronged me and others. I never picked on easy targets, it was usually the figureheads of social groups that used their positions to be twats in school. Examples - girls who liked messing with boys for the sake of it, the trysexuals who did it all to show off and the sort of blokes that didn't contribute. I wouldn't call it bullying, more enforcing. This was backed up by the fact that by the end of school I had no enemies, nor anyone that thought that badly of me, save for a few of the bitchy girls that were so because they lacked both looks and personality.

I unfortuately made one fatal mistake, a few months after school ended. My best friend was seeing my best girl-friend. They broke up and she did the old whorebag thing of telling him she didn't want a major relationship and then meeting a new fella. I unfortunately, instead of remaining neutral took my male friends side, sharing his anger. Now me and this girl rarely speak, though we are courteous.

I won in the end though, because she went from virgin catholic abstinent lass to drinking smoking living out of home slut-mo with an emo boyfriend.

Anyway like I say I had my issues with bullying to begin with and I worked through them. Let me insist though I was never a physical bully, nor did I break anyone down psychologically (well, okay one guy but it would have happened anyway).

 

[Halifax]

Are you white? Out of interest, because I'm sure it isn't a widespread occourance that young white Australian males(?) become Buddhist converts. Good for you finding a faith that makes you happy that isn't really 'major' in our country. Takes balls and I'm sure lends even more legitimacy to its value for you.

I'm an Australian born Vietnamese. My whole family goes through Buddhist customs when it comes stuff like weddings or funerals. It was only recently that I decided to go deeper into the religion. Interestingly though, I went through a Catholic primery and secondary school. I decided to stick with Buddhism because a) it's ingrained into my culture and b) its the one major religion that I felt really works for me.

Its interesting that you are in an "enforcer" role. For my experirnce, students are either bullies, victims or bystanders.

 

[Palace_Hero]

I'm an Australian born Vietnamese. My whole family goes through Buddhist customs when it comes stuff like weddings or funerals. It was only recently that I decided to go deeper into the religion. Interestingly though, I went through a Catholic primery and secondary school. I decided to stick with Buddhism because a) it's ingrained into my culture and b) its the one major religion that I felt really works for me.

Its interesting that you are in an "enforcer" role. For my experirnce, students are either bullies, victims or bystanders.

Ah ok mate. Anyways Buddhism is probably the religion I most admire.

Enforcer is probably a poor term. 'Vigelante' would be better. I sttod up for what I thought was right regardless of popular opinion. If this meant I disliked a person, they'd hear it.

I wouldn't consider my later years at school bullying because in most cases it was rowing with people who could give it back. Like I say what I did in my earlier years were different, I did victimise some people. I regret it but unfortunately thats life and you get pricks. You need to do exactly what you have done, come through it at the end the one who is smelling like roses.

Enjoy your life, make some money and do a job you enjoy. Thats the greatest reward and with luck you'll die a happy man.

 

[cell]

yeah, i was made fun of alot. from when i was six years old to thirteen. lets see...i had a funny accent (am partially deaf so i couldnt talk right back then), wore glasses, and i had no choice but to wear hearing aids during those years. otherwise i would have never bothered like i do now.

some of the meanest girls would say so much shit to me, and there was this other girl who literally targeted me for nearly half the time i've known her in all of my childhood. the best memory of what i have so far, and probably the only time i ever stood up for myself was when she threatened to beat me up after school. i remember being really scared...and so i ditched class...hid in some bushes (i was in sixth grade) and i remember finding all of those beer bottles where i was sitting. i emptied out my purse i used to carry. it was an old gucci purse. i wanted to be cool but the accessories didnt work. what i had in it was mostly paper...yeah i was a geek. i carried words that i wrote down...it meant so much to me. i never did go back to get them. i put the beer bottles into my purse. all of them. and it was freaking heavy. then as kids started filing out of the classrooms, i snuck out of the bushes and resumed my walk home. too late, i wa spotted. there was a line of kids following me. not that many, but the threat was made public. she came up finally, started taunting me with words about how much she hated me, how i was such a retard, etc. she pushed me and then i started swinging. wildly. i got her once or twice. everyone ran and so did she. thats what i think happened. i dont remember much. im old. so sue me.

next day i get pulled into the principal's office. bully told her mom what happened. and i got to tell my side of the story. both moms were in the office. my mom back then...oh man...and i say this with love, but she was the meanest...biggest b*** ever. but she was calm. she knew i had to defend myself. she was proud of me. bully was now afraid of me. never bothered again.

 

[Palace_Hero]

Top bombing icelle.

 

[Palace_Hero]

Oh and lets be honest, U2 aren't a really 'cool' band. Hence I think you'll have no problem Halifax finding people who have endured similar problems as yours and icelle's.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I was one of the lucky ones that nobody ever really picked on
I know...go ahead, pelt me with fruit
But before you do
I will say that the bulk of my friends were the ones that got bullied because I found them far more interesting, and kind as friends than the other kids.
So a lot of my childhood was spent beating the crap out of bullies and defending my geekish but totally lovable friends
I just couldnt stand seeing somebody spirit and feelings crushed. It totally broke my heart
So I broke noses

 

[cell]

I just couldnt stand seeing somebody spirit and feelings crushed. It totally broke my heart
So I broke noses

i would have loved it if i had a friend like you back then. seriously.

 

[Cassis]

yes

i managed to put it in the past though

 

[u2bonogirl]

i would have loved it if i had a friend like you back then. seriously.

If you were as big a dork as you say I would have definitely sought you out as a friend
Im a closet geek
I asked for globes and encyclopedias for christmas when I was a kid

 

[Sicy]

When I was in middle school a group of bitches used to mess with me all the time because I didnt have 'cool clothes' like they did. The guys used to also call me "the lipper" because I had big lips Sure would like to see those guys now cuz they sure would want to kiss my full plump sexy lips.

 

[impy13]

Sure would like to see those guys now cuz they sure would want to kiss my full plump sexy lips.

 

[yimou]

Ever since I discovered Buddhism, which teaches that negative feelings such as hurt and anger and hate can make us contract and close up and can even make us feel sick, I’ve forgiven some of my former bullies.

I recently reconnected with Buddhism and i have never felt better.

 

[Golightly Grrl]

I graduated from highschool twenty years ago, but to this day, I still remember the torment I received from several bullies. On in particular, who shall be called BitchFace, not only called me horrible names, but would throw spit balls in my hair. This happened when we were around 16, 17 years old. This also happened in front of other students, teachers, and other school staff. Noone did a damn thing. Unfortunately, I didn't have a U2bonogirl to stick up for me. When I tried sticking up for myself, I got more abuse and the school thought I was the problem.

Of course, BitchFace is now in her late thirties, living with her mother in the shitty small town we grew up in, hangs out with other mouth breathers doing nothing with their lives, and looks like several miles of bad road. I'm thrilled.

 

[u2bonogirl]

hell yeah for big lips!
I never understood why people got teased for big lips, I thout they were beautiful so the only thing i could come up with was jealousy.
I admit to being a spitballer....but only to the ones on the bus that spit them at this poor kid named Keenan
It makes me really happy to see some of the "nerds" from back in the day going off and being really successful in whatever theyre doing. And the dick heads that teased them are still in the same small town working at the mall

 

[dandy]

i was bullied a lot when i was younger, mostly in elementary and middle school.

i was lucky, because i had a sense that there wasn't anything wrong with me even when i was eight years old. people would tell me that i was weird, and i would say 'thank you.' i was thinking that if it meant i wasn't like them, that was a very good thing. i don't know where it came from, but i've always had a strong sense of who i am. it has served me well.

looking back, i can see now that the people who bullied me only did it to mask their own lack of self worth and self esteem. they felt small and weak, and pushing me around was their attempt to feel big and powerful, in control. negative attention is better than no attention.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Thats really cool! I wish even I had a sense of who I was back then
I was sort of this tortured soul, good at sports, but in love with art.
If people had teased me I think my heart would have broke.
There was a rumor that one of my friends sent out about me that I was a lesbian once in 6th grade.
That was humiliating

 

[Techie2000]

Yes I was. It wasn't fun. There was no good reason I had to endure it, but I was at a low point in my high school career. I'm not a better person because of it, but rather in spite of it. It is good to know, the bullies matured, and one of them is a good friend now who acknowledges he was an asshole, and the other is much nicer than he used to be.

 

[anitram]

In 6th grade, I remember being tormented by one girl endlessly. I guess the "upside" to this was that she was clearly a lunatic who bullied everyone, so we were all in the same boat.

I remember once I spilled something on my winter jacket and so it had to go to dry cleaning and that day I took my Mom's jacket with me instead. It was just a tiny bit too big, like half a size. But the girl asked me if I was wearing my dog's clothes.

The idiot. I remember seeing her in high school. She kind of calmed down by then, but still. I blame her parents for coddling her - she was incredibly spoiled and probably didn't think there was anything wrong with her brattiness.

 

[BAW]

Yes, I was bullied and teased from 5th through 10th grade. I was tormented because I had curly hair, pale skin and was poor.

A spoiled little princess bitch in one of my classes made up a song about me because I had to wear the same pair of jeans a few times in the same week and she and her little posse used to sing it every morning to embarrass me. Of course the teacher just kept taking attendance and pretended he didn't notice.

In the 8th grade, an older girl decided that my painful shyness was actually snottiness and started following me home every day, throwing things at me and calling me names. When I couldn't take it anymore and decided to stand up to her, she used it as an opportunity to punch me in the face. I slugged her back and tried to run but she grabbed my shirt and we mixed it up pretty good until a neighbor came running out and broke it up. And lucky me...the same girl was assigned as my tennis partner in PE a few weeks later

School was a nightmare for me that didn't end until 11th grade when I suddenly fit in and people stopped treating me like a freak. I couldn't bring myself to attend any of my class reunions though...even after 20 years, I could never smile and pretend I was happy to see people who made my life hell.

 

[cell]

yeah, i dont think i could ever face my exbullies. i'd walk away really fast in the other direction if i ever recognized them in person.

 

[u2bonogirl]

its so sad that people get tortured about their clothes.
Maybe it would have been better to wear uniforms....

 

[daygloeyes2]

I go to a private school and we have to wear uniforms. They're kind of ugly, but I don't mind them. People aren't judging you on what you're wearing, because you're all wearing the same thing. And for people like me who sometimes change their outfits 5 times before going out, it makes mornings a hell of alot easier.

I was bullied throughout middle school. That's part of the reason I do go to a private school now. I'd go into details, but bringing back all those awful memories would just be too painful for me.

 

[anitram]

its so sad that people get tortured about their clothes.
Maybe it would have been better to wear uniforms....

I wore a uniform in high school and the situation improved tenfold for everyone. Although then you'd still be judged by your shoes, so I guess you can't win them all.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I think I would have liked having a uniform better in high school.
I would get tormented by guys sexually....so I guess you could say I was bullied in a different sort of way.
They would unbutton my shirts, and do all sorts of perverted things to me. It seemed like whatever I wore they found something amusing about it and used that.

 

[starsforu2]

I was really small in Elementary school and my nemesis and bully and I would fight during recess.

I found out that he died a few months before our 10 year HS reunion. I was actually quite sad because even though there was enmity there for a time, he was one of the few that I really remembered. I was surprised that I was sad that he had died. I was more sad that he was dead, than I would have been if it were a garden-variety classmate.

 

[VertigoGal]

I'm not cool at all and I get good grades, but I don't really get picked on, cos I'm sort of in the middle. I don't wear the cool clothes, but I don't wear "weird clothes" either. I get good grades but I like to go to concerts. So I'm pretty much ignored by the popular people, although some of my friends are more popular. But I'm also friends with people who are targets of bullies cos they're not "cool" enough. I'm pretty happy with who I am and I hate seeing my friends getting picked on, so I have few problems telling anyone who picks on my friends to Fuck Off.

Interestingly, I could actually be more popular if I wanted to. I've actually become friends with popular cheerleader types. But when I see them make fun of a "dorky" type even once, I just can't stay friends with them.

Particularly where I live, there are a lot of Asians, 1/3 of our school are Asians. They're generally good targets cos they tend to get good grades and stuff. I've got tons of Chinese and Indian and Korean friends, so when someone makes fun of Asians I just can't stay friends with them anymore.

Oh well their loss I guess.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I was actually forced to hang with some of the popular crowd for a time because I played sports with them
It was deemed unsportsmanlike for me to ditch them and hang out with the weird kids in the hallway during lunch

 

[anitram]

I think I would have liked having a uniform better in high school.
I would get tormented by guys sexually....so I guess you could say I was bullied in a different sort of way.

In high school we (the girls) wore kilts and of course we chopped them off so they were nice and short. And then we'd wear bicycle shorts undearneath, but there was still a vice principal who used to stand at the bottom of the staircase in between classes, and we were convinced it was so he could look up our skirts as we went up.