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Old 10-13-2006, 08:01 AM   #21
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Your grandmother sounds like a strong woman, fly so high!

Racist people
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Old 10-13-2006, 12:14 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by BluRmGrl


I am glad to hear that. And so long as you're not putting your plans on hold waiting for this guy to call you when he's got nothing better to do, I don't see any problem with you getting together whenever you can. I've got a couple of friends like that as well - we may only talk to each other twice a year, but that's OK with us. We realize our lives keep us from spending more time together & that even if we did, we'd probably wish we hadn't!

I think it takes all level & strength of friends for your life to be complete. You know - there's the friend(s) you can't go more than 2 days without talking to; there's the friends that you only know from your kickboxing class; there's the super supportive friends at work who've never socialized with you beyond your lunch hour; and then there are the dear friends that you only catch up with a few times a year. Do you care for any of them any less because of the quantity of time you spend with them? I wouldn't think you do. If you're OK with being his 'backup friend' , then let it be & just enjoy your time together.

Save the worry for other stuff.... like how to get back to Dublin ASAP.

Wonderful post.

Oh, and yea...I'm going back to Dublin 14 days from today... Just covering all my bases!
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Old 10-13-2006, 01:01 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
Oh, and yea...I'm going back to Dublin 14 days from today... Just covering all my bases!
'

OK - I mean this in the nicest, I'm-not-jealous-at-all kind of way: DAMN YOU!!!


Actually, I'm thrilled for you and hope you have twice as much fun this time as the last!! Stay alert & travel safe, 'kay?
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Old 10-29-2006, 12:44 PM   #24
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Yes toxic people can drain you emotionally, spiritually and if one is not careful can drag you into their toxic life....I am dealing with the loss of a friend of 32 years....it is very hard....we have always been there for each other...She is addicted to "ice" and has been extremely mean to me...she got clean asked my forgiveness and I forgave her...now she is back on it....she did some things that were so hurtful to me that I really cannot have her in my life anymore.....she broke our trust and has stolen a lot of my possessions. Even if she straightens herself out...I just cannot trust her anymore and she has hurt me so deeply I just don't see myself ever trusting her again....I have definately gone through all the stages of grief and still cry when I remember some of the things she said to me!! I trusted her more than anyone in the world....Love Susan
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Old 10-29-2006, 01:07 PM   #25
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Re: Toxic People

Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
Does anyone have a person in their life that you just don't understand exactly why they do? I have a "friend" that constantly seems to return none of the favors I do, or make any effort to maintain contact with, etc. He doesn't exactly have his stuff together either and, to be honest, I'm growing in a much different direction than him and it is for the better. I adore my friend and although he ticks me off I still am always very happy for the small amount of time we ever actually do spend together. Do I just need to cut the line or what? I hope this makes sense...
You haven't mentionned what -- if anything -- you've done to try to address the situation. This might be worth doing if you truly "adore" your friend and are "always very happy" when you spend time together. Your friend may have absolutely no idea how you've been feeling. Behavior that you may view as "favors" your friend may view as normal in the context of a friendship. At any rate, before you decide to cut off your friendship, if it truly is a friendship, you might consider talking with your friend about what you expect of friendship -- and what you feel has been happening. I'm not sure what you might mean by "doesn't have his stuff together", but your friend may be struggling with concerns that leave little time and energy for the efforts that you expect to "maintain contact" and "return favors".
Only you know what this relationship has been like in the past -- and what it might be worth to you at present. But as someone who has had periods in my life when personal concerns took priority over time for friends -- and as someone who has had friends in similar situations, I think that having the courage to risk a straighforward conversation about your relationship with someone you "adore" would be worthwhile.
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