For Honor
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
First, I'd like to start out by saying that I am a virgin, and basically intend to stay that way for a while, most likely. But that being said, I'm also old enough to know about sex, especially in this modern world. However, what I do not know about is how sex impacts a relationship (because I've never really had firsthand experience), and most of all, in regard to this situation which I am about to address.... :
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Here goes...
My friend and his girlfriend addressed me with this subject, and I really didn't know how to consider it. (they are around my age - he is 20 and she 19). Basically... he and his girlfriend are like.... attracted to each other in such a way that they don't know if it is healthy, or safe in regard to the quality of their relationship. Both of them are mature enough to want a more lasting kind of relationship, and not just... well, loose sex with another person. If they did, this issue here wouldn't be a problem at all, obviously. Yet it is an area of concern.
See, I've heard about sex covering up problems in a relationship, (which isn't neccesarily the case here - since they aren't really complaining about any "problems". I would assume they are more thinking about the future of the relationship), but the three of us have discussed and accept that sex may not be the best thing to dominate a relationship. There are other dimensions to it, obviously. My male friend is concerned, a little about the compatibility between him and her, because she's a little more socially outgoing than he is. Yet at the same time, both he and I agree that sometimes that can be a positive thing for a relationship, since it opens different perspectives. (and also, from some personality reseach I've done myself, I've seen some statements saying that introverts and extroverts can actually produce and endure lasting relationships; that the difference isn't really a 'super-bad' thing). Personally, I think if the two are willing to be mature and seek understanding of each other, then I think they could be alright down the road. And more than that, I think that it is possible that they could actually understand each other on the deep level that they need to in order for a relationship to have an enduring quality.
The trouble, oddly enough, is that their sexual attraction is so strong. In many ways, they can appear opposites, (but then again, I guess it seems like they have a lot of things in common, too, so, hmm....). And of course, "opposites attract" as they say. And they certainly are... attracted... to each other.... But I almost want to say that it is a strange sort of opposition - like, even though heads and tails are opposite, it's still the same coin. So it's kind of complex in that regard, at least from how I see the two together.
I don't really know how to address the question I want to ask here, about the sexual dimension of a relationship. I guess I can say it with some of their words - they don't want the relationship to become superficial to the point of them seeing each other as "peices of meat", or that, whenever they are together, they have to.... become sexually motivated. They are worried about themselves becoming too used to it, and thus the relationship changing and getting out of hand, or going bad, etc.
What I suggested, well, sorta suggested, was that they look into their goals and values, and what is important to them in life. How they look at the world, too - that it's usually a good thing if you guys like the same kind of movies and similar kind of... outlooks on life, things like that.
I know this post probably sounds really weird, but .... well, this is an odd situation. I hope i am describing it decently enough. In short, I am wondering if it is possible to be "too" sexually attracted to another person? And, does being somewhat opposite from someone else limit the ability to understand each other?
Thanks for your thoughts
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PS: One of the people in the couple has confided in my that they feel a definite lasting love for the other. And this person was very serious, more serious than usual, about a subject like that, so I would consider it to be a sincere statement. Currently, the couple is talking about their relaitonship, and they are both trying to figure out if they are really the right kind of person for each other, which is the right thing to do, I think.
===========
Here goes...
My friend and his girlfriend addressed me with this subject, and I really didn't know how to consider it. (they are around my age - he is 20 and she 19). Basically... he and his girlfriend are like.... attracted to each other in such a way that they don't know if it is healthy, or safe in regard to the quality of their relationship. Both of them are mature enough to want a more lasting kind of relationship, and not just... well, loose sex with another person. If they did, this issue here wouldn't be a problem at all, obviously. Yet it is an area of concern.
See, I've heard about sex covering up problems in a relationship, (which isn't neccesarily the case here - since they aren't really complaining about any "problems". I would assume they are more thinking about the future of the relationship), but the three of us have discussed and accept that sex may not be the best thing to dominate a relationship. There are other dimensions to it, obviously. My male friend is concerned, a little about the compatibility between him and her, because she's a little more socially outgoing than he is. Yet at the same time, both he and I agree that sometimes that can be a positive thing for a relationship, since it opens different perspectives. (and also, from some personality reseach I've done myself, I've seen some statements saying that introverts and extroverts can actually produce and endure lasting relationships; that the difference isn't really a 'super-bad' thing). Personally, I think if the two are willing to be mature and seek understanding of each other, then I think they could be alright down the road. And more than that, I think that it is possible that they could actually understand each other on the deep level that they need to in order for a relationship to have an enduring quality.
The trouble, oddly enough, is that their sexual attraction is so strong. In many ways, they can appear opposites, (but then again, I guess it seems like they have a lot of things in common, too, so, hmm....). And of course, "opposites attract" as they say. And they certainly are... attracted... to each other.... But I almost want to say that it is a strange sort of opposition - like, even though heads and tails are opposite, it's still the same coin. So it's kind of complex in that regard, at least from how I see the two together.
I don't really know how to address the question I want to ask here, about the sexual dimension of a relationship. I guess I can say it with some of their words - they don't want the relationship to become superficial to the point of them seeing each other as "peices of meat", or that, whenever they are together, they have to.... become sexually motivated. They are worried about themselves becoming too used to it, and thus the relationship changing and getting out of hand, or going bad, etc.
What I suggested, well, sorta suggested, was that they look into their goals and values, and what is important to them in life. How they look at the world, too - that it's usually a good thing if you guys like the same kind of movies and similar kind of... outlooks on life, things like that.
I know this post probably sounds really weird, but .... well, this is an odd situation. I hope i am describing it decently enough. In short, I am wondering if it is possible to be "too" sexually attracted to another person? And, does being somewhat opposite from someone else limit the ability to understand each other?
Thanks for your thoughts
=
PS: One of the people in the couple has confided in my that they feel a definite lasting love for the other. And this person was very serious, more serious than usual, about a subject like that, so I would consider it to be a sincere statement. Currently, the couple is talking about their relaitonship, and they are both trying to figure out if they are really the right kind of person for each other, which is the right thing to do, I think.
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it's what I do.
