The Object of My Unrequieted Love Is Pregnant

[Screwtape2]

I just found out tonight, that the woman of my dreams is pregnant. I've been in love with this girl for three years. Inside I guess I always thought that there was a little hope.
I'm really scared because ever since the day I met her I haven't had feelings for another person. Not even the slightest. Is it possible that I will never love again? I feel so alone.

I had dreams about her being pregnant the couple of days, before I got the news. Weird huh? That seemed to lessen the blow.

So many things are happening in my life right now that I'm not sure I can stay afloat. I've always been on the edge of depression, this might be the last straw. I just started college, I'm moving to an apartment, I'm getting a job and a million other things are happening. I'm really frightened that I might have a mental breakdown one day.

I don't know what to do.

 

[tpsglick2424]

It's gonna be all alright

Wait, this might be the stupidest question ever but did she get pregnant because of you?

 

[redhotswami]

Im sorry to hear that Screwtape.

That is incredible that you had dreams of her being pregnant. Maybe it is a testament to the connection you share?

Unfortunately, that connection doesn't sound like it is quite what you want it to be, but it sounds like she is an amazing person...so at least you still have her in your life, right?

 

[snowbunny00774]

Maybe you were meant to be important to each other, just not the way you thought. It sounds like you have a lot of new paths starting right now, I don't think a crosswalk being installed in an old path should lead to a breakdown.

Good Luck

 

[Angela Harlem]

take this opportunity to get your life together. how you'd do that is an entirely different issue, but nevertheless. it is something you know you have to do. you even wrote unrequieted in the title of this thread. your logical mind knows she is not in love with you in return, and your logical mind is dealing with that. however, the other part of your mind has been hanging onto the hope or dream that one day it might change. in reality she is no more available to you than before. that's not an outlet for you to swing into depression now, matie. nothing much has really changed for you; only for her. it feels like it has changed though, and you might benefit from your logical mind taking on your other mind which is dreaming of things one day changing and forcing you into a different mindset of thinking which is (painfully) fully aware that she is not to be with you. we cant live in or for hypotheticals. you need to get yourself understanding and believing that. dont let this kill you on the inside.

3 years is a painfully long time, mate. you need to get this out with someone who can help you. please consider it.

 

[starsgoblue]

Maybe you were meant to be important to each other, just not the way you thought.

I really like this sentiment. Very good advice.

 

[JCOSTER]

Screwtape,


I just started college, I'm moving to an apartment, I'm getting a job and a million other things are happening.

The above that you mentioned sounds like a good thing....think of it as a postive....and when least expect it .....
love will catch you by the heel.

we here for U!

 

[SunBloc]

Screwtape, sorry to hear about your disappointment. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your college years will be some of the best you'll EVER have. Things are going to work out for the better.

 

[pepokiss]

I suffered that once...

I found out (when nobody was supose to) on a tuesday, I told her I knew on a thursday, on friday we had some charity thing at school and we had a blast...

from that monday... we never talked for the rest of the year... and this was mid-August


I talked to her the next year, after she gave birth... around April she came back to school for the Senior Year...

I still love her, but not in THAT way



Screwtape... you just need to take time... don't think of her, but be close to her... don't let ever happen to you what happened to me... but be sure that you have lost the race...

just try not to race until you think you can do it again (I know, it sound easy to say... but things happen)


I hate the cliches, like "wait, I'll come", because sometimes it never does...

just... be with yourself for a while. Once you're in peace with eevrything, you can come out again to the world

 

[JanuaryStar]

Screwtape2, I'm sorry to hear this has happened, especially if it's the girl you really love... I do believe everything will be alright, one day you'll find yourself meeting other girls, and perhaps someone who is really the right one for you, I'm sure of it

If you ever feel like talking or anything (about the almost-depression for example), I'm here... Don't be too hard on yourself

 

[Laura M]

perhaps this is a sign that it is about time to move on

 

[Carek1230]

It will all work out for you in time. Focus on what direction you really need to go in. Good luck.

 

[Screwtape2]

I want to thank everyone who gave me advice. It was all really helpful
Okay so a month ago, I found out she was pregnant and all. She’s getting married, too. In the time between then and now we’ve become good friends. We exchange e-mails every weekday. We’re sources of great support for each other. I’m happier now than I have been in so long, that was until today.

For one, I passed my Math final but as I was about to leave was told ‘oh wait, you won’t be passing.’ My teacher confused me with another student and failed me because of a test score from a couple weeks ago. That has worsened my mood. That’s a separate issue.

Anyways, she tells me that her fiancé might have my number and could call me sometime this week. She didn’t know what he might say. She clarified later that it was just a feeling but still. She also said that I should follow his wishes if he says anything.
What makes it really scary, is that she hasn’t talked to him about me but he knows. She said he doesn’t like me being around. But again, she isn’t sure. She says it might be jealousy. Then she said that if he knows I should be careful because he can have a mean side.
It is all a little creepy. I mean, the only way he would know is if he read some of the letters I wrote several months ago. If that is the case, I could be in trouble. They were some of the most romantic things you could imagine. Then there is the issue of the phone number. I have no clue how he might have gotten it. I have a very common last name. She doesn’t even have it. She wouldn’t have mentioned it unless she thought there was good chance that he did.
1. If he calls and tells me to stay away from her, what do I do? I lost her once but how can I let her be ripped out of my life again?
2. If he does know should I be seriously worried about how he got my phone number and how he knows about me?
3. If it jealousy, would expressing that it is just a friendship make any difference?
4. How should I proceed these next few days?

Any thoughts?

 

[tpsreports2424]

1. Tell him that you have no sexual relationship with her and that you guys are just friends. Can two people just be friends?
2.I wouldn't be too worried, but just keep it inmind. also if you ever see him have someone you know (or a witness if it goes there) just incase he tries to go at you.
3.Yes
5. Very cautious (just in case) always answer the door with a "who is this?" and like i said always have someone around you if you get near him just incase he'll try to punch you out...

 

[Rini]

She said he doesn’t like me being around. But again, she isn’t sure. She says it might be jealousy. Then she said that if he knows I should be careful because he can have a mean side.

*She's hinting that he will drive you away from her, and I'm guessing she's hoping you'll take the hint (because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings? She's too nice to tell you to go away). This is so hard on you, that you can't change her or him. They have chosen each other.

1 If he calls and tells me to stay away from her, what do I do? I lost her once but how can I let her be ripped out of my life again?

* She's been initimate with this guy and now she's going to marry him. She's carrying his child. She is paired off with him in a definite way and there's no room for you in their relationship. You have no choice but to let her go. Ow, that hurts. If you hopefully hang around "his woman" he may come after you.

2. If he does know should I be seriously worried about how he got my phone number and how he knows about me?

*Only if you insist on sticking around and trying to be in their relationship. It's time to go, I'm afraid.

3. If it jealousy, would expressing that it is just a friendship make any difference?

*You can't be her friend if she's married. Most wedding vows include "forsaking all others" - that means friends of the opposite sex. Sometimes it happens but she's hinting for you to go away so she doesn't want that.

4. How should I proceed these next few days?

*If I were you, I'd go in my room, close the door, cry my heart out, then wash my face and get on with my life. I'd discipline my mind to change the subject everytime I thought about her, and look to see what is good in my life and concentrate on that. It will be hard, but it will get easier in time. You will hurt for awhile because you gave your heart away, and she's handing it back to you in a paper bag. That really hurts. You deserve someone better than her, and in time you probably will actually come to believe that.

*I grieve for you. I gave my heart to a guy once that I was dating who finally told me he couldn't marry me and "let's not even be friends. I'll tell you why some day." Needless to say, that was years ago, and the guy who was "too nice" to tell me the truth never talked to me again. I thought I was going to die, and I remember it even today. But it doesn't hurt anymore, and I wound up married to the greatest man who loves me more than that jerk ever could have. Breaking up with the loser was actually the best thing because he wasn't the one for me and I was free to meet the one who was. So be strong, start your life over, and look for the good. Give yourself time to grieve because this is the loss of a dream, but better things (real things!) are coming!