this isn't really a confession, but it was somethin' i was thinkin' about today after reading the "a man and a woman cannot be close friends..." thread and just thought i'd type it all out... get it off my chest, so to speak.
at the end of my freshman year in college i met this girl... i knew who she was already... she was on the woman's basketball team, i was on the men's team... thus we traveled to games on the same bus... whatever, doesn't matter i'm rambling now...
anyhoo... i ended up shooting around with her in the gym one night. bumped into her again at a party a few days later. got her # on campus, etc ... i was taken immediately... head over heals, all that good shit. was gonna "make my move" one night the following week, but, of course, being a moron i didn't... something about never having the right opportunity or some other lame excuse. so another week goes by without me doing anything, and then finally the weekend comes and i decide that i'm gonna try again. but, of course, as i'm actually walking from the room next to hers towards hers, i hear one of my friends telling her that some other guy likes her... once again i decide that the timing just wasn't there, and stupidly don't say anything.
well of course she starts seeing that guy... but now i'm in the "friend zone" with her and all of her friends. semester ends without me saying anything and we go home for the summer... of course she just happens to live 20 minutes from me at home, so we hang out alot... digging further and further into the friend zone. needless to say, this girl, who i still had very strong feelings for that she knew nothing of, was now slowly becomming my best friends... shit.
so i spend the entire summer getting extremely close to this girl... we go back to school in the fall, and she starts hanging with the a-hole guy from before again, which of course pisses me off to all hell, leading to stupid acts, such as getting incredibly shit faced drunk and punching my first through walls... fun, mature stuff like that.
well she... vicky is her name (i'm tired of calling her she) continues dating this a-hole. and at the time i actually didn't know if he was an asshole or not, i just assumed so with no proof. i finally find out that he is in fact an a1 top of the heap dickhead. which pisses me off even more.
i transfered out of that school, for a variety of reasons (not wanting to see those two was part of the reason... again, i'm an idiot). vicky and the a-hole went out for like a year and a half before they broke up. durring that whole time we were still very very very close friends, all be it mostly from a distance... although every time she'd come home from school i was the first person she'd hang out with.
so now we're like three years deep into the friend zone... all of our mutual friends by this point know how i feel and how i have felt this whole time. frankly vicky's probably the only person who doesn't know... which i didn't neccesarily believe, but she certainly never acted like it. we'd hang out every day (i got her a job at the camp i work at) and i'd help her work on her basketball game (she'd eventually become an all conference player, but that doesn't really matter to the story... moving along)
so now i go away to school again, this time to new hampshire to play basketball (again). vicky's still at brockport in rochester. we spend a lot of time on the phone and talking online and stuff. then 9/11 happens, and that actually drew us even closer, if that was possiable... but still no one's told the other about being more than "just friends." around december she tells me that her sister just lost her apartment and is looking for a new one. ironicly, my sister and her roommate just lost their third roommate and were looking for a third person to fill the apartment. thus then... on e thing leads to another and vicky's sister moves in to my sister's apartment in long beach.
i leave new hampshire for spring break on friday march 15, 2002 (yes i still remember the dates... i'm a sick fucker what can i say). vicky is also home for spring break the same week. the next day i drive over to long beach in the morning and hop on the train to the city with my sister. the st. patrick's day parade in manhattan was on the 16th that year because the 17th was a sunday. so i'm on the train and i ask my sister (who knew i liked vicky) if the subject ever came up with vicky's sister. she said that yes it had, just the other day actually.
so we're in the city @ the parade... very emotional day, being the first parade since 9/11... the bar we used to always hang at on st. patty's was the victory cafe, which was uptown and was owned by my neighbor, a city fireman, so the place was always packed out with firemen on st. patty's day... so again... very emotional scene.
anyhoo, we leave the city at around 6pm and head back to long beach. we get back to my sister's apartment and i crash on the couch. about an hour and a half later vicky and her sister walk in the door. i didn't expect to see her but wasn't overly shocked that she'd show up. now at this point i still had feelings for her but they were baisicly burried in the back because i was pretty set on the fact that nothing was ever gonna happen. but it was good to see her again 'cause we were still really close friends and all. so i go out... again. this time to a bar/club type place in long beach. i hate clubs so i kinda just hang by the bar and drink. of course vicky's sister uses this as a perfect opportunity to corner me and start grilling me with questions, getting me to admit that i liked vicky and all that stuff. i didn't exactly respond to this well, 'cause i was trying to bury all those emotions and now here her sister was dragging them all back, while, mind you, i've been drinking all day.
vicky eventually comes over to where i was and asks me what her sister was talking to me about. i tell her, and her response was that her sister's boyfriend was talking to vicky about the same thing... apparently a plot was a foot. so she's like "well what do you think?" to which i crack up and tell her that she knows what i think already. we leave go back to the apartment and just like talk till like 5 in the morning before we finally fall asleep.
we decide that we should hang out wednesday and watch a movie at her house. so that's what we do, which we've done a thousand times before, but something was different this time. by the end of the night we're holding hands, and when i went home we kissed for the first time after waiting for like 4 years. i don't know how the hell i didn't crash or get pulled over. we hung out two more times before we both had to go back to school.
for the next two weeks we talk on the phone like every day. then i made the driver from henniker, new hampshire to rochester, new york to visit her for the weekend. friday night and saturday were great... but i just got a strange vibe when i left sunday.
and of course, low and behold, she slowly started not responding to my IMs... not being available when i called... she played it off as being "very busy." by the time i left at the end of the semester i hadn't actually spoken with the girl who i'm supposedly dating in over a month.
at home i still can't get hold of her. i finally manage to get her by IMing her younger sister and asking her to tell vicky that i'd like to talk to her. here i was with who was supposed to be my best friend AS WELL as suppsed to be my girlfriend, and i needed to go through a middleman just to speak to her. i wasn't stupid... i knew the deal, but i wanted to hear it from her. well i never heard it... i read it. she finally came online and talked to me through IMs. i got the george costanza "it's not you it's me" routine through aol frickin instant message.
we still worked at the same place in the summer so i had to see her every day, but we barely talked. in fact she went the entire summer without saying hello to me once. fun times.
that fall i was sitting at my computer and my former roommate from brockport IMed me asking me if i was still going out with vicky. i told him no and asked why. he said that he was in a class with this kid and he was wearing a t-shirt from the basketball camp i work at. knowing that i worked there he asked the kid if he knew me, to which the kid responded no i don't actually work there my girlfriend got me the shirt.
so the "it's not you it's me" routine was just a cover... which it obviously always is.
i haven't spoken to her in over a year now... last year she still worked two weeks at the camp i work at... and on top of it, she asked one of my co-workers if her boyfriend could work that week as well. so i had to see the closest friend i've ever had every day, not speaking to me, with the boyfriend that she dumped me for and never told me about. she lives with him now in north carolina. we haven't spoken in about a year and a half.
at the end of my freshman year in college i met this girl... i knew who she was already... she was on the woman's basketball team, i was on the men's team... thus we traveled to games on the same bus... whatever, doesn't matter i'm rambling now...
anyhoo... i ended up shooting around with her in the gym one night. bumped into her again at a party a few days later. got her # on campus, etc ... i was taken immediately... head over heals, all that good shit. was gonna "make my move" one night the following week, but, of course, being a moron i didn't... something about never having the right opportunity or some other lame excuse. so another week goes by without me doing anything, and then finally the weekend comes and i decide that i'm gonna try again. but, of course, as i'm actually walking from the room next to hers towards hers, i hear one of my friends telling her that some other guy likes her... once again i decide that the timing just wasn't there, and stupidly don't say anything.
well of course she starts seeing that guy... but now i'm in the "friend zone" with her and all of her friends. semester ends without me saying anything and we go home for the summer... of course she just happens to live 20 minutes from me at home, so we hang out alot... digging further and further into the friend zone. needless to say, this girl, who i still had very strong feelings for that she knew nothing of, was now slowly becomming my best friends... shit.
so i spend the entire summer getting extremely close to this girl... we go back to school in the fall, and she starts hanging with the a-hole guy from before again, which of course pisses me off to all hell, leading to stupid acts, such as getting incredibly shit faced drunk and punching my first through walls... fun, mature stuff like that.
well she... vicky is her name (i'm tired of calling her she) continues dating this a-hole. and at the time i actually didn't know if he was an asshole or not, i just assumed so with no proof. i finally find out that he is in fact an a1 top of the heap dickhead. which pisses me off even more.
i transfered out of that school, for a variety of reasons (not wanting to see those two was part of the reason... again, i'm an idiot). vicky and the a-hole went out for like a year and a half before they broke up. durring that whole time we were still very very very close friends, all be it mostly from a distance... although every time she'd come home from school i was the first person she'd hang out with.
so now we're like three years deep into the friend zone... all of our mutual friends by this point know how i feel and how i have felt this whole time. frankly vicky's probably the only person who doesn't know... which i didn't neccesarily believe, but she certainly never acted like it. we'd hang out every day (i got her a job at the camp i work at) and i'd help her work on her basketball game (she'd eventually become an all conference player, but that doesn't really matter to the story... moving along)
so now i go away to school again, this time to new hampshire to play basketball (again). vicky's still at brockport in rochester. we spend a lot of time on the phone and talking online and stuff. then 9/11 happens, and that actually drew us even closer, if that was possiable... but still no one's told the other about being more than "just friends." around december she tells me that her sister just lost her apartment and is looking for a new one. ironicly, my sister and her roommate just lost their third roommate and were looking for a third person to fill the apartment. thus then... on e thing leads to another and vicky's sister moves in to my sister's apartment in long beach.
i leave new hampshire for spring break on friday march 15, 2002 (yes i still remember the dates... i'm a sick fucker what can i say). vicky is also home for spring break the same week. the next day i drive over to long beach in the morning and hop on the train to the city with my sister. the st. patrick's day parade in manhattan was on the 16th that year because the 17th was a sunday. so i'm on the train and i ask my sister (who knew i liked vicky) if the subject ever came up with vicky's sister. she said that yes it had, just the other day actually.
so we're in the city @ the parade... very emotional day, being the first parade since 9/11... the bar we used to always hang at on st. patty's was the victory cafe, which was uptown and was owned by my neighbor, a city fireman, so the place was always packed out with firemen on st. patty's day... so again... very emotional scene.
anyhoo, we leave the city at around 6pm and head back to long beach. we get back to my sister's apartment and i crash on the couch. about an hour and a half later vicky and her sister walk in the door. i didn't expect to see her but wasn't overly shocked that she'd show up. now at this point i still had feelings for her but they were baisicly burried in the back because i was pretty set on the fact that nothing was ever gonna happen. but it was good to see her again 'cause we were still really close friends and all. so i go out... again. this time to a bar/club type place in long beach. i hate clubs so i kinda just hang by the bar and drink. of course vicky's sister uses this as a perfect opportunity to corner me and start grilling me with questions, getting me to admit that i liked vicky and all that stuff. i didn't exactly respond to this well, 'cause i was trying to bury all those emotions and now here her sister was dragging them all back, while, mind you, i've been drinking all day.
vicky eventually comes over to where i was and asks me what her sister was talking to me about. i tell her, and her response was that her sister's boyfriend was talking to vicky about the same thing... apparently a plot was a foot. so she's like "well what do you think?" to which i crack up and tell her that she knows what i think already. we leave go back to the apartment and just like talk till like 5 in the morning before we finally fall asleep.
we decide that we should hang out wednesday and watch a movie at her house. so that's what we do, which we've done a thousand times before, but something was different this time. by the end of the night we're holding hands, and when i went home we kissed for the first time after waiting for like 4 years. i don't know how the hell i didn't crash or get pulled over. we hung out two more times before we both had to go back to school.
for the next two weeks we talk on the phone like every day. then i made the driver from henniker, new hampshire to rochester, new york to visit her for the weekend. friday night and saturday were great... but i just got a strange vibe when i left sunday.
and of course, low and behold, she slowly started not responding to my IMs... not being available when i called... she played it off as being "very busy." by the time i left at the end of the semester i hadn't actually spoken with the girl who i'm supposedly dating in over a month.
at home i still can't get hold of her. i finally manage to get her by IMing her younger sister and asking her to tell vicky that i'd like to talk to her. here i was with who was supposed to be my best friend AS WELL as suppsed to be my girlfriend, and i needed to go through a middleman just to speak to her. i wasn't stupid... i knew the deal, but i wanted to hear it from her. well i never heard it... i read it. she finally came online and talked to me through IMs. i got the george costanza "it's not you it's me" routine through aol frickin instant message.
we still worked at the same place in the summer so i had to see her every day, but we barely talked. in fact she went the entire summer without saying hello to me once. fun times.
that fall i was sitting at my computer and my former roommate from brockport IMed me asking me if i was still going out with vicky. i told him no and asked why. he said that he was in a class with this kid and he was wearing a t-shirt from the basketball camp i work at. knowing that i worked there he asked the kid if he knew me, to which the kid responded no i don't actually work there my girlfriend got me the shirt.
so the "it's not you it's me" routine was just a cover... which it obviously always is.
i haven't spoken to her in over a year now... last year she still worked two weeks at the camp i work at... and on top of it, she asked one of my co-workers if her boyfriend could work that week as well. so i had to see the closest friend i've ever had every day, not speaking to me, with the boyfriend that she dumped me for and never told me about. she lives with him now in north carolina. we haven't spoken in about a year and a half.
