So, uh...how do you evict a family member?

[MooMoo!]

My family, I love them, but they're a bunch of sociopaths.

My brother left his job recently and wont go back to it despite his boss apparently offering him it back. He hasn't said why he left, he's extremely shy, socially inept and doesn't leave the house or have friends. He never really has ever since he was a child. He doesn't get on with my dad and my mum has tried (in her less than subtle ways) to get him to find work, sign on, move out or a combination of the three. Any sort of confrontation in this manner almost certainly ends in arguments and potential violence.

I'm only home for Summer as I'm at university, and after this year I have no intention of moving back home, so I can't spend the rest of my life worrying about whether they're all going to kill each other. What do you do in a situation like this? Is there any legal advice people can give? Is there any way to force my brother out the house? I don't want him to be forced out, but he leaves us very little choice. He sits in his room 24/7 unless we convince him to go out in the car with us somewhere. This isn't a recent development, he's been like this for at least 10 years. It's a massive waste of a life, but we have no idea how to motivate him to do anything at all. I'm also fairly certain he has some form of autism, maybe aspergers, but he's never been diagnosed as such.

The only way I can cope with this now is by being in university and just trying to blank the whole family situation out of my mind, otherwise I live every day in constant terror that they're fighting, physically or verbally.

 

[Pearl]

I don't know the laws of your country, but I would guess like most places, your brother is a legal adult. So he can't be forced into therapy or to see a doctor against his will. There really isn't much you can do for him. As for you and your family, try seeking advice from someone (counselor, specialist) to cope with him.

 

[MooMoo!]

I feared that may be the case. It essentially seems that we all have to appease him as long as we live, since he can only leave or get a job of his own free will.

I hope I don't sound like an insensitive dick by the way, it's just been going on so long that I've grown entirely apathetic to the situation.

 

[Rachel D.]

Is he depressed? I have a cousin that is the same way; she has struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time and can't seem to keep a job very long. When my aunt was going through chemotherapy, she asked both of her kids to move out because she said they needed to be on their own while she was fighting cancer (they're both college age). Now my cousin has her own apartment, but she and her sister are still in the same city as my aunt and uncle, so they stay in close contact. Maybe it would be good for your brother to do the same thing? He could have some distance, while still being close by. A family member could offer to help him look for his own place, although financing it could be an issue if he won't get a job.

 

[MooMoo!]

It'd be a great idea, if he'd actually agree to leave the house at all. I have no idea if he's depressed tbh. He wont help himself and we can't help him, so it's something of a statemate unless he actually decides to do something with his life.