Self-Inflicted Injury

[beegee]

These people, the ones I know, cut themselves because their boyfriends left them, because their parents wouldnt let them have this or that. These people were teenagers, and I fail to see how they can all collectively have problems that are worth hurting yourself for. It was blatantly obvious that this was the cool thing to do, it was a social thing, if you dont cut yourself you wernt anyone. Now can you see what Im talking about?

This is what makes me so fucking sick about "emo" culture, its popular to harm yourself. Do you understand now? Do you understand what Im trying to say? It makes the people with REAL problems who self harm seem like attention seekers, like they fake it or are just another one of the thousands who do it because its the trendy thing to do.

I mean fucking hell, people DO deal with problems differently but these people DIDNT NEED to go to that extreme, the treatment in this case was VASTLY disproportionate to ANY sort of problems they did it to releive.

You cannot say what people do or do not need to do.

Anyone who feels the need to do anything for attention, especially something like cutting, already has a problem. The need for attention IS the problem. It could be self-esteem issues or an abnormal need for that attention. These are real, valid problems.

To dismiss this is ignorance.

 

[AtomicBono]

Later when I was off the medication and had my emotions back, I found that whenever I got upset, I was overcome with a strong desire to hurt myself. I have anger issues, I guess, but when I get mad at other people or situations or whatever, I just turn it all inward and get mad at myself, and so I continued to hurt myself in those situations.

Same here. I'm almost never truly mad at someone, and even when I am I tend to internalize it, blame myself for being angry.

I started cutting my freshman year of high school. I was depressed for a number of reasons, both situational and the fact that I'm chemically depressed. I did it on my arms initially so I didn't hide it too well. I think a part of me did want someone to notice, but whenever they did I lied about it. Eventually I had a breakdown and my dad found out and I went through counseling and stuff. I don't think the counseling actually helped at all but the combination of my parents knowing and an increase in my Zoloft perscription stopped me for awhile. It was something I struggled with for a few years afterwards, though from then on I'd do it on my thighs or stomach so people wouldn't see. it IS something I'm ashamed of. I wish I could take back those scars.

I also overdosed on pills to fuck myself up - and I don't just mean get high, half the time I just felt sick as hell, or even if I did get high, I always came down and felt sick eventually. It was sorta different everytime because I'd do anything, whatever was in the house. Maybe that goes more under drug addiction, but I consider it a form of self-harm, especially since it is significantly more dangerous than cutting, and really it kinda replaced cutting for me, because this was something that didn't leave a mark, and the effect was longer, sometimes over a day. I tried to kill myself with OTC sleeping pills. Apparently you can't die from them, but it was a really terrifiyng experience and I was quite convinced for a while that I was going to die. Nothing felt real. I guess scaring the shit out of myself and worrying/angering my friends was enough to make me stop. I haven't done anything since then. I've wanted to, but I don't keep any pills around, at all.

I don't consider self-harm itself a disease, at least not in my case. There are cases where it is, but for me it was a way of dealing with depression.

I debated to myself about whether or not to reply to this thread... I'm not looking for attention or sympathy. I'm just sharing my story and my perspective on self-harm. I'll answer any questions.

As for the whole emos seeking attention thing...I can see both sides of the story. I think there are indeed people who cut as some sort of trendy thing, which to me is absolutely disgusting and indeed trivializes those who actually have much deeper issues. So I think that's what MooMoo was trying to say. But not all people who show their scars are those types of people. They may be crying for help but don't know how to just ask someone or explain their problems. Also, even if they are cutting just to be "trendy," there is surely some issue there as well, which is what meegannie was saying. If you think it's okay to hurt yourself just to be part of some emo club, then there is a psychological problem there.

 

[MooMoo!]

You cannot say what people do or do not need to do.

Anyone who feels the need to do anything for attention, especially something like cutting, already has a problem. The need for attention IS the problem. It could be self-esteem issues or an abnormal need for that attention. These are real, valid problems.

To dismiss this is ignorance.

Edit: nevermind

 

[beegee]

Ok, Ill start cutting myself then, maybe Ill finally get the help I need.

I didn't start this thread for this.

Perhaps this topic has run its course for you.

 

[MooMoo!]

As for the whole emos seeking attention thing...I can see both sides of the story. I think there are indeed people who cut as some sort of trendy thing, which to me is absolutely disgusting and indeed trivializes those who actually have much deeper issues. So I think that's what MooMoo was trying to say. But not all people who show their scars are those types of people. They may be crying for help but don't know how to just ask someone or explain their problems. Also, even if they are cutting just to be "trendy," there is surely some issue there as well, which is what meegannie was saying. If you think it's okay to hurt yourself just to be part of some emo club, then there is a psychological problem there.

Thank you.

I have friends who self harm, and they do it because of some very deep rooted and incurable problems, such as chemical/clinical depression. They never mention that they harm themselves, because emo culture means theyre just "another self harmer". Just another depressed teenager. They dont get the help or attention they deserve because of this culture of self harm. They're scared to even mention it. As a result I hate these emo people because it means people I care about get far less help than they deserve. They may think its a cool thing to go around self harming as part of a trend, but they dont realise the harm this is causing to others.

 

[MooMoo!]

Bonosgirl I edited that for a reason. I overreacted as Im pretty boiled by whats going on in this thread. Id appriciate it if you'd edit it out too.

 

[meegannie]

You cannot say what people do or do not need to do.

Anyone who feels the need to do anything for attention, especially something like cutting, already has a problem. The need for attention IS the problem. It could be self-esteem issues or an abnormal need for that attention. These are real, valid problems.

To dismiss this is ignorance.

That's what I was trying to say, but I think you made more sense than I did.

 

[No spoken words]

I dated a girl who was a cutter. I did not know this immediately, I found out over time. This was, what, my second real girlfriend, I was just a kid, so was she. Looking back, I guess you could say our relationship was never "serious", but I really liked her and felt extremely close to her.

I knew going into things that she had suffered from clinical depression, but that was a non-issue to me as mental illness runs rampant on my Mom's side of the family and had/has impacted my Grandmother, Mom and sister.

As time went on, and we gained each other's trust, she revealed to me that she was a cutter. At the time, I'd never even heard of such a thing, and I think that while I was a smart kid, I was not an experienced one and so I was not 100% equipped to handle this information. Not in a bad way, mind you, just in a....well, I've never, before or since, felt more powerless to help someone who meant something to me. She did not want to cut herself...she was not ashamed, per se, but she sure as hell did not want to NEED such a coping mechanism...and I did not want her to cut herself, but you can't just talk someone out of it. I had no idea what to do, and, maybe it was not on me to do anything except listen to her and be understanding and supportive. I didn't know then, and as I think about it now, I still do not know.

I have to be honest, I'd not thought of her, or that experience, in many many years. I don't even know why/what I'm really posting here, except to maybe offer some modicum of support for bonosgirl84, since I do not know what it's like to be a cutter, but I do know what it's like to be close to someone that is.

ETA - When my ex and I broke up, it was because her parents were moving and she of course had to go, too. We kept in touch for a bit, but this was pre-internet, so, while keeping touch was of course possible, it was not quite as easy as it is today....we eventually fell out of touch, and I really do not know if she was ever able to cease injuring herself. I hope she did.

 

[AtomicBono]

I know many other people who are self-injurers... it's a lot more common than you'd think. It's not something you can easily talk someone out of, but I think talking helps, letting them know you care, and trying to come up with less harmful ways of dealing with stress/depression/problems/whatever - for me it's been music, exercise, and just talking to my friends and knowing that they DON'T want me to hurt myself, and that I can call them anytime. unfortunately it's a very case by case thing so what works for me might not necessarily work for someone else. it's kind of a fine line because you need them to stop hurting themselves, but you don't want to judge them as "wrong"... it's hard to explain. but ultimately i think it's not okay, you shouldn't let someone keep doing it, it's pretty much like a drug addiction... while cutting usually isn't dangerous, it can be, and I don't think it's healthy, and most importantly, it's a temporary solution. It will never cure anything. I kind of wish the people who knew about my problems would have just flat out said "I don't want you to do this," because no one ever really did. I guess people don't know how to deal with it.

 

[Night & Day]

MOO, I understand what you are saying.
Like I said before, sometimes in writing, the true feelings behind the words are lost.
There are some who do that, I have seen it for myself.
But everyone handles pain diferently, and maybe those kids might have a pain they themselves cannot express.
Self infliction knows no tax bracket or race, no color or religion.
It seeks the lost, pained and depressed... the weaker parts of ourselves.
(maybe I should only be speaking for myself).


About a year or so ago, I had gone through an although short, very emotional trial.
Burning started to replace communication and Ron was suffering emotionally because there was nothing he could do.
So he took me to Target, and asked me to pick out a coloring book, any one I wanted, and some crayons.
Apparently, he had been reading about self infliction in an attempt to cope himself, and found a website that gave alternatives to hurting.
I wanted a coloring book that had Matchbox cars or something to do with driving, but settled for the next best thing....
Disney Princesses.
I was actually quite excited to get it home.

It was then that I realized that it realy isn't the adult in me that wants to hurt, its the child in me that desperatley just wanted to be saved.

 

[Night & Day]

Also, Id quite like someone to explain how this makes them feel better. I can see that it provides some method of release or relief, but I cant get my head around how hurting yourself because you're already hurt helps? Or is it more a method or replacing the "bad" pain with a "good" pain? like a controlled pain you have power over?

For ME, this is a pretty close description .
It's not exchanging a 'bad' pain for a 'good' one though, it's more like causing a distration from the 'demons'.
And yes, it's control over yourself.
Some may argue that its a lack of control, thats another subject.

btw, I am 41... and the word 'Emo' would never describe me in a million years.

 

[MooMoo!]

I seem to remember reading something about the control aspect, and how it played a part in it.

Its just interesting to work out how and why people do it, cos when I have problems, Ive never really felt, well maybe Ive felt like it, but Ive never been inclined to self harm. Its interesting to learn how it provides relief.

 

[Angela Harlem]

These people, the ones I know, cut themselves because their boyfriends left them, because their parents wouldnt let them have this or that. These people were teenagers, and I fail to see how they can all collectively have problems that are worth hurting yourself for. It was blatantly obvious that this was the cool thing to do, it was a social thing, if you dont cut yourself you wernt anyone. Now can you see what Im talking about?

This is what makes me so fucking sick about "emo" culture, its popular to harm yourself. Do you understand now? Do you understand what Im trying to say? It makes the people with REAL problems who self harm seem like attention seekers, like they fake it or are just another one of the thousands who do it because its the trendy thing to do.

I mean fucking hell, people DO deal with problems differently but these people DIDNT NEED to go to that extreme, the treatment in this case was VASTLY disproportionate to ANY sort of problems they did it to releive.

It's an interesting an common reaction toward teenagers. These kids though, who grow into these 'moulds' of emo or whatever, are still probably facing the very things which have led many in this thread to self injuring. We look at them as sheep because they are devoted to trends or are part of any given mould - like being 'perfect' (their parents won't buy them this or that, or they wear black and use too much eyeliner) and we think "attention seekers" - but the point is, these attention seekers, these perfect teens, the teens with too much black in their wardrobes, the really smart students, all have problems. We look at their facade and think it's about the attention, but abused children grow into emo kids, they grow into superb athletes, they grow into the weird art students who no one talks to beause they paint the grim reaper in every painting they do, etc, etc, etc.


Don't write these people off as following a trend, MooMoo. People who look silly (like emo youth) on the outside with their moulded facades still face problems we never really know about until we dig very deep. No matter who or what we are, we're all susceptible to the same things.

 

[Pearl]

Reading this thread makes me relieved that other people, most especially women, experienced cutting and it makes me feel safe to talk about my experiences too. I know in the past I was not very kind to a certain celebrity who engaged in a self-injurious behavior. I did that because what she did reminded me of what I considered doing at one point, and it brought back bad memories of myself in a low time for me.

I started cutting as a senior in high school. It never got severe, but it was a problem. It started off as a form of punishment for me whenever I did something wrong. I hated, and still do, making mistakes, and whenever I did something wrong, stupid or just not good enough I would cut myself. I starting seeing a therapist shortly after I began, and the cutting was never fully treated. I stopped going to my therapist after six months, and that was when I did my worst cutting. Some of the scars are still visible on me to this day.

I stopped on my own when I realized that the scars I was getting would be permanent, and I was afraid I was going to have visible scars all over my body, and I wouldn't be able to where certain clothes or else the scars would been seen.

But that didn't stop the cutting. Now and then I would do it. My last time was over a year ago, when I wanted to punish myself. Just slashing skin felt like an appropriate way of punishing myself, like I deserved to bleed and have a mark. But in the past, there were some moments where I would cut myself because I felt so numb I needed to feel something. Or I was so down and cutting gave me a high, like that "athlete's high" night and day mentioned.

I still wonder what it would be like if I hurt myself over things I feel bad about. But then I remind myself about the permanent scarring, the way my family would react if they found out.

 

[JezSnape]

I've visited this thread so many times now, most of the time before anyone had replied. I didn't want to be the first one to write, but didn't realize you might have gotten PM's about it

At first I didn't want to write because I don't like people knowing that I was (am) a cutter. There are a total of five people in real life that know, and writing it on here, where hundreds of people can see it scares me. However, I agree that it's something that shouldn't be hidden away, and it is a topic I'm interested in (not for myself per se, but since I'm studying to become a teacher).

I don't really remember when I started cutting, but I was around 16. There were so many things going on in my life, and I didn't know how to handle it. I justified it with a quote I found by Karl Marx: "The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain."
It was true, the pain I got from the cuts was a pain I could handle, it was something of my own doing, it was something I thought I was in control of.

I haven't cut in just over a year, but the thought is still there everytime I feel upset or sad, and the thought of throwing my razorblades away makes me break out in cold sweat.

I'm sorry if this post doesn't seem to make much sense, I'm tired, English isn't my native language and I wasn't really sure how to phrase it to sound right...

*btw, just wanted to add that now when I have posted about it, if anyone wants to ask questions, it's ok.

 

[redhotswami]

wow. what a touching thread. thanks to those who shared their personal experiences. that takes a lot of guts. it is quite a thing to read your perspectives. i appreciate your candid posts.

not too long ago a dear friend of mine also revealed that they are a cutter. that was the first time i was ever faced with that situation on a personal level. i've no idea how to respond to that either. when working in res life it was easy, we referred them to the counseling center. but when it is your friend, a grown adult, what do you do?

i still have no idea. i'm not well researched in that field and there's still a lot about it i don't know. what i have done is try to be the best friend that i can be. all of the love that my friend offers to me, i try as much as possible reflecting that back. i may not be able to diagnose or treat, but i know one thing i'm good at is being a friend. like mike says, it sucks so much when someone you care about is suffering and all you wanna do is take their pain away.

but i can't. it is hard, but i'm learning to accept that. i may not ever get this person to not cut ever again, but one thing's for sure, this person can never say that they didn't think i loved them.

 

[DreamOutLoud13]

As for the whole emos seeking attention thing...I can see both sides of the story. I think there are indeed people who cut as some sort of trendy thing, which to me is absolutely disgusting and indeed trivializes those who actually have much deeper issues. So I think that's what MooMoo was trying to say. But not all people who show their scars are those types of people. They may be crying for help but don't know how to just ask someone or explain their problems. Also, even if they are cutting just to be "trendy," there is surely some issue there as well, which is what meegannie was saying. If you think it's okay to hurt yourself just to be part of some emo club, then there is a psychological problem there.

I agree with that. It upsets me when I go into a store like Hot Topic and see razor blades being marketed as fashionable. I saw a necklace bearing a (completely non-sharp) razor blade as a pendant. The people that mass produce and sell these things to teenagers should be ashamed of themselves.

Some people cut themselves and then show others their scars as a cry for help. I did that when I was younger. I wanted people to see that I was hurting, and maybe try to help me. I wanted them to at the very least show their love for me a little bit more blatantly. I was desperate to be shown that I was loved, because I was so unsure of it.

But then there are people who cut themselves for the trend. To show how "hardcore" they are or whatever. That take MySpace photos of themselves with mascara tears running down their cheeks and bleeding wrists. This behaviour is a problem unto itself, but it's a different sort of problem than cutting caused by desperation and self-hate and depression. It's attention-seeking behaviour, and perhaps they just want to be shown that they're cared about as much as I did. But still, it's different than the addictive cutting behaviour exibited by others.

Still, the trendiness and 'cool' factor of cutting disgusts me, because it does undermine the problem. It makes people shrug it off as just another silly thing teens do for attention, and as a result some of those people crying out for help won't get the help they need. I think this thread has proved that fact on both sides of the argument.

She did not want to cut herself...she was not ashamed, per se, but she sure as hell did not want to NEED such a coping mechanism

That's why I stopped. I didn't want to continue to be powerless to such an action.


I think that for me, when I get upset and hate myself and get that urge to hurt myself... the best thing for me would be a distraction, or to physically remove myself from whatever situation has caused me to be upset. If I can just get past the 'red' moment, the moment when I crave the pain, I'll calm down and be fine. But sometimes the distraction is hard to come by.
For those of you wanting to help your friends, probably the best advice is to really be there for them, but that's almost impossible. You can't be there 100% of the time for someone to say "here, take a deep breath, we're gonna go down the street, get some ice cream, and talk about it", but for the times you can be there, you must. The problem may lie in convincing the self-injurer in question that you don't mind helping them, because when you're already in the self-hate mode, rationality leaves the room, and even if you want to call somebody up and say "please talk to me, I need a distraction" there will be fear there that you're bothering them, that they secretly don't care, or that they'll reject you and make everything worse.

 

[Thora]

Thanks everyone for being brave enough to share your experiences. This has been very informative and helpful to read.

I was never a cutter when I was younger, but I was very tempted to many times, and it took all my strength not to do it. I have several friends who have gone through this, and your perspectives have been very helpful in understanding this better.

 

[MooMoo!]

I agree with that. It upsets me when I go into a store like Hot Topic and see razor blades being marketed as fashionable. I saw a necklace bearing a (completely non-sharp) razor blade as a pendant. The people that mass produce and sell these things to teenagers should be ashamed of themselves.

Some people cut themselves and then show others their scars as a cry for help. I did that when I was younger. I wanted people to see that I was hurting, and maybe try to help me. I wanted them to at the very least show their love for me a little bit more blatantly. I was desperate to be shown that I was loved, because I was so unsure of it.

But then there are people who cut themselves for the trend. To show how "hardcore" they are or whatever. That take MySpace photos of themselves with mascara tears running down their cheeks and bleeding wrists. This behaviour is a problem unto itself, but it's a different sort of problem than cutting caused by desperation and self-hate and depression. It's attention-seeking behaviour, and perhaps they just want to be shown that they're cared about as much as I did. But still, it's different than the addictive cutting behaviour exibited by others.

Still, the trendiness and 'cool' factor of cutting disgusts me, because it does undermine the problem. It makes people shrug it off as just another silly thing teens do for attention, and as a result some of those people crying out for help won't get the help they need. I think this thread has proved that fact on both sides of the argument.

You've managed to put it into words better than I did anyway, but what you said is what I was trying to say.

 

[AtomicBono]

For those of you wanting to help your friends, probably the best advice is to really be there for them, but that's almost impossible. You can't be there 100% of the time for someone to say "here, take a deep breath, we're gonna go down the street, get some ice cream, and talk about it", but for the times you can be there, you must. The problem may lie in convincing the self-injurer in question that you don't mind helping them, because when you're already in the self-hate mode, rationality leaves the room, and even if you want to call somebody up and say "please talk to me, I need a distraction" there will be fear there that you're bothering them, that they secretly don't care, or that they'll reject you and make everything worse.

that's the thing that I think is most hard to explain, that when you're in that mood you're simply not rational. even though I KNOW people care if I get down enough I get irrationally paranoid and think that maybe I'm wrong. I'm slowly learning to bother my friends anyway though. even now i don't feel like I deserve them, and I really do still fear I'm bothering them sometimes, but I've convinced myself that they'd rather be bothered by me than know that I hurt myself, or something worse. So perhaps that's the best way to help a friend, convince them that no matter what it is you can be there for them and you don't want them to ever have to hurt themselves.

I'm glad other people are coming forward and sharing their stories. Like I said before, it's way more common than you'd think.

http://www.twloha.com/the_story.php this organization, To Write Love On Her Arms, offers support for self-injury and depression. I don't know much about it, but I have a friend who says it's great.

 

[beegee]

I'm glad other people are coming forward and sharing their stories.

I am too.

I started this thread because someone I love has been cutting. I am in the early stages of learning to love and live with someone who is self injuring. I am also learning that asking questions, being there, talking, and listening are the most important things we can do.

Thanks for the link, AtomicBono.

And thank you everyone for sharing your stories.

 

[No spoken words]

I am too.

I started this thread because someone I love has been cutting. I am in the early stages of learning to love and live with someone who is self injuring. I am also learning that asking questions, being there, talking, and listening are the most important things we can do.

Thanks for the link, AtomicBono.

And thank you everyone for sharing your stories.

Good luck to you and of course your loved one, and, will you keep us updated???

 

[beegee]

Good luck to you and of course your loved one, and, will you keep us updated???

I will. We have good days and bad days. Some days go along as if this issue had never touched our lives. Some days all heck breaks loose and it seems like I'll never feel happiness again. But every day I love this person so much that it breaks my heart. I will endure whatever it takes to help them.

 

[Night & Day]

to all of you.

Peace and protection too.

 

[MooMoo!]

One thing that I think is an issue with this, is feeling bad because they harm, and in turn they feel bad because you're upset, which can lead to yet more harm. Its a vicious cycle, try to avoid it if you can. Be more positive.

 

[Lemon Grrrrrl]

I’ve been lurking in this thread, and I may as well contribute. I’m not in the typical category of cutters; I just started doing it a few months ago and I’m 34 years old. I don’t really see it as a big deal, but it’s definitely not something I’m proud of and nobody knows about it except my husband. I got a really crap shot at life and I’m trying to come to terms with it. Is cutting a healthy way of dealing with it? Nope. Neither is smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling, overeating, promiscuous sex, or any other vice you can think of, but it’s just something I do. I have a severe, chronic case of post-traumatic stress disorder (my doctor’s diagnosis, not my own), and suffer from constant flashbacks. Cutting puts me in control, even for just a little while, and helps distract my mind from what’s in my head all the time. I find an eerie kind of beauty in seeing my own blood drip down my skin. My doctor gave me meds – Neurontin, Zoloft, Xanax, Clonazepam, Alprazolam, Prozac – but these only made me feel emotions at a magnified level, so if I experienced a minor disappointment I ended up in a major depression. If something didn’t go my way, I blew up in uncontrollable rage. I couldn’t take it anymore so I stopped them altogether – not something I’d ever recommend anybody ever do. Chiropractic and massage helped me manage my symptoms for a very long time, and I didn’t have such severe side effects, but I’m at a point now where it’s not helping – mainly financial reasons and the fact that the only massage therapist who could help me is no longer accessible. I used to overeat to cope with things – something I’ve done all my life, but I’m just at a point where I don’t want to do that ‘zoned out’ eating to deal with stress, and I needed some way to cope. It was a cold, logical choice I made. Alcohol, gambling, and drugs cost money. I’m married, and could never cheat on my husband. Razor blades are incredibly cheap. And they do produce a kind of high, because the body produces endorphins to help cope with the physical pain of being cut. Last year I was just at a point where I couldn’t take anymore. I call 2007 the year of goodbyes – I had to say goodbye to God, to my brother (who wants to live with a drug addict and I couldn’t take it anymore), to my mother-in-law (who’s dying at the moment, and out of state, and I’ll probably never see her again), and other things that I can’t discuss here without violating other people’s confidence. But I couldn’t wait for 2007 to be over with. Of course somehow I thought come January 1st, things would be different, but I’m still in pain and I still struggle to deal with it. I haven’t cut myself for a few months now, but it’s mainly because I just plain don’t have the time to do it. I definitely want to though.

But anyway, it’s strange that people don’t understand this and need it to be analyzed out. I don’t ask why people smoke – it’s a harmful behavior and the effects are well known. We’ve all got our demons, and we all do the best we can with what we’ve been given. I just don’t see any other way. The last time I saw a psychologist (about 6 months ago), I made her cry with what I had to say. How bad is that? I really don’t have any outlets; music used to help me cope, but it’s not doing the trick anymore. Nobody really wants to know what’s going on in my head – nobody should have to cope with what I cope with anyway. So I deal the best way I know how. Not a healthy way, probably not the way you’d deal with it, but it’s just what works best for me right now.

 

[Angela Harlem]

The detachment with which you speak is alarming. It's almost in 3rd person. Not sure if you can see that yourself or not.

Anyway, lets get down to practicalities. Do you have healthcare which can provide you the means for the help you need? Next time I hear how America is the lucky country, I'm going to fucking scream.

Find help, please.

 

[beegee]

Behavioral Health is covered by most insurance companies. Unfortunately however, not everyone has medical insurance. I have it through my job so my family is covered.

Lemon Grrrrrl, thank you for sharing. You said you were treated for PTSD but you didn't say if you were being treated for SII (Self Inflicted Injury) If not, please make someone aware of this, your family or your doctor.

Take care of yourself.