scared...

[MirrorballLemon]

So I have a lot of things going for me lately, I just graduated from college and got an awesome job. Tuesday, I'll be leaving my home and moving. I spent the past four weeks training for this job, and it was really intense. So I'm moving to an area where I dont know anyone, and it's all completely new. Though this sounds all great, I'm scared out of my mind. I'm worried about the move, making friends, my job, and my relationship with my gf. A couple weeks ago we were talking about getting engaged, and now, to make a long story short, she's not sure what she wants and is considering leaving me. Nothing really changed at all in between the period where we talked about getting engaged and she brought this up. Soooo....needless to say, I need this added stress like I need a hole in the head. This stress is really getting to me...all of it. I'm not eating, I'm losing sleep, and, I'm ashamed to say, the other day I cut myself to try and relieve some of the emotional pain. Im also ashamed to say, it felt good. I've already spoken to someone about this (it scared me that I did it), but I really have nobody to turn to because my gf is my best friend and right now things are on edge. I'm disappointed in myself because I did it, but now I have yet another thing to worry about...my mental health. I'm truly worried that with my move, my job starting, and my gf leaving me (possibly), that I'll have the urge to do it again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, I would never do that, but as all the literature on self-injury states, I did it as a way to relieve pain.... I'm in desperate need of help here...so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[najeena]

There's always 800 numbers you can call. Those people are there for you.

 

[Cleasai]

Believe me when I say you are definately not alone. There are others even here on Interference who have gone through the same thing. I think it is incredibly brave of you to come out in the open asking for help. You do need to talk to someone about what's going on. I've noticed that self-multilators don't really do it to relieve the pain as much as a distraction of what's really going on. In other words you hurt yourself to hide a different pain. Once you talk to someone and get your initial problems ironed out everything else will sort itself. Good luck and get better.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Excellent advice Cleasai

Dont be disappointed in yourself for hurting yourself, there are reasons why you did. Maybe read up on that subject on the internet, maybe that would help you understand better why you did. And it's great that you already talked to someone about it, very healthy and commendable. To me that indicates that you are less likely to do it again, of course I'm not a professional or any kind of expert. But I do have some experience with it.

Can you find any local resources to help you if you have no one else to talk to-like a social worker or a support group?

Change is scary, and it's only human to fear it. But you should give yourself credit for being able to freely express that fear and talk about what you're going through, that's half the battle. But when things get too difficult, we can all use a little help-from a professional is usually the best way. Good luck to you with everything