Random Facts and Confessions V7.0

[Bonoa]

i had to get my 2 oldest children and 2 neighbours to assist with a spider problem this morning. i really, really, really don't want this arachnophobia anymore. i'm too tired. i also have a problem with food. it's not anorexia or anything. i just have massive issues with food. i'm also really tired and just want some uninterrupted time to myself. i just don't give a fuck sometimes about someone wanting a sandwich, or whether the tv is on, or someone hurting theselves because blah blah pinched them or pushed them over. sometimes, i just don't care. i'm tired. really tired. i rang about getting in-home child care help today. i nearly cried when leaving my details. not sure why. relief maybe? guilt maybe? i also think i will get those people in to mop my floors and scrub the bathrooms. that's all.

You need a break! Call your parents or parents in law so the children can stay there (it'll be great for them to stay with grandmum and granddad for a while). Go to a sunny place with your husband, boyfriend or with your friends and just relax and have fun!
Sometimes you need it in order to see things in perspective again.

 

[Purplereign]

i had to get my 2 oldest children and 2 neighbours to assist with a spider problem this morning. i really, really, really don't want this arachnophobia anymore. i'm too tired. i also have a problem with food. it's not anorexia or anything. i just have massive issues with food. i'm also really tired and just want some uninterrupted time to myself. i just don't give a fuck sometimes about someone wanting a sandwich, or whether the tv is on, or someone hurting theselves because blah blah pinched them or pushed them over. sometimes, i just don't care. i'm tired. really tired. i rang about getting in-home child care help today. i nearly cried when leaving my details. not sure why. relief maybe? guilt maybe? i also think i will get those people in to mop my floors and scrub the bathrooms. that's all.

. . . I don't think there is a mother alive (an honest one at any rate) who hasn't felt all this and more at times . . . and you have had a rough rough ride this time around so it is only natural that your mind and body are screaming for some peace and quiet . . .please please please try and look after yourself . . . its fantastic that you rang about some in-home help . . . tell your doctor, tell the mothercraft nurse, tell any soul who is listening that you need a break . . . scream it from the rooftops if you have to and when people offer to help just let them hon . . . please be kind to yourself . . . my heart is breaking for you and I'm sending you as much love and support and happiness and peace and serenity as I can find

 

[zuropa_fit]

JanuaryStar and Angela, sorry to hear you're both going through some pretty heavy shit right now. Take time for yourself. Lean on those around you (and us here) and don't be afraid/guilty to ask for help. Sometimes the relief of just asking for help is enough to get you over the hump.

 

[MsPurrl]

i had to get my 2 oldest children and 2 neighbours to assist with a spider problem this morning. i really, really, really don't want this arachnophobia anymore. i'm too tired. i also have a problem with food. it's not anorexia or anything. i just have massive issues with food. i'm also really tired and just want some uninterrupted time to myself. i just don't give a fuck sometimes about someone wanting a sandwich, or whether the tv is on, or someone hurting theselves because blah blah pinched them or pushed them over. sometimes, i just don't care. i'm tired. really tired. i rang about getting in-home child care help today. i nearly cried when leaving my details. not sure why. relief maybe? guilt maybe? i also think i will get those people in to mop my floors and scrub the bathrooms. that's all.

Awwww, sweetie--hang in there! Might you be suffering from post-partum depression? I hope you will talk to your doctor. Many hugs from far-away Indiana, USA.

 

[Angela Harlem]

You guys are so sweet. Thank you for reading and all your kind support. I went to my new awesome gp today and she's lined me up 2 other doctors to see, one a psychologist who's also got a doctorate so she should be good.the other is a scary psychiatrist who deals with post baby things and sort out meds if I need it. It doesn't seem like the childcare will work out unless we pay privately, but that costs way too much . We'll see my gp has been great. She said many of the same things you guys have said. Says much for the quality and awesomeness of interference!
Thanks for it all again

 

[JanuaryStar]

i had to get my 2 oldest children and 2 neighbours to assist with a spider problem this morning. i really, really, really don't want this arachnophobia anymore. i'm too tired. i also have a problem with food. it's not anorexia or anything. i just have massive issues with food. i'm also really tired and just want some uninterrupted time to myself. i just don't give a fuck sometimes about someone wanting a sandwich, or whether the tv is on, or someone hurting theselves because blah blah pinched them or pushed them over. sometimes, i just don't care. i'm tired. really tired. i rang about getting in-home child care help today. i nearly cried when leaving my details. not sure why. relief maybe? guilt maybe? i also think i will get those people in to mop my floors and scrub the bathrooms. that's all.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with so many things like this... I'm glad though that you've had some very good help with it already. Nothing but good luck to you, stay strong and I hope there will be some better times for you very soon


And thanks Zooey and PR

 

[Lila64]

Can I rant ? OK... Old people & their failing memories are driving me crazy I know I should have more patience & understanding, but it's difficult. My parents can't really get around on their own anymore, and just sold their car too (thankfully). My dad is old & cranky and whines about everything. If he takes Dial-a-ride to the market, and wants them to pick him up, he says he has to sit for an hour til they get there. And he's too cheap to call a taxi. So I've offered to take them on the weekends, as that's really the only time I can do it. My husband can't really take them, since he's working long hours and often 6 days a week. . I work during the week and take care of Maddy/shuttling/etc. My mother-in-law has even offered her services on Wednesday or Thursdays if she doesn't have job commitments on those days. So I took my Mom to the drugstore on Saturday cuz she said she needed a few things. Fine & done. So today my sister sends me a message on Facebook that I need to call Mom & Dad because they may need some marketing. My parents live in an apartment, and about a month ago dad called the manager's office complaining that they had no food. So in turn the office calls my sister & she calls me (I live 10 minutes away from the folks). I run & get dressed & take Dad to the market. Ay yi yi. That was a Tues. and by Sat. he needed to go again. He was buying like one potato at a time. My sister tried to tell him to buy a few. I didn't know I had to guide dad into buying more. I thought I was just chauffering. It's like everything has to fit into his schedule with no regard whatsoever that other people have lives or responsibilities. We have our own struggles and it's like it doesn't even matter. The car he just sold he practically gave away. It was worth more than what he got. When I told hubby he just laughed & shook his head.

 

[vjacqb]

Oh Lila sorry to hear you're having so much frustration with your aging parents.

I'm sure if I lived within driving distance to my parents I'd be experiencing the same thing. And it's hard to keep my temper in check too... but just like dealing with children, I have to be patient. I have been trying to tell my dad to stop driving for years now. He's 76 years old and I really don't want him on the road. I keep telling him it's not that I don't trust him, I don't trust the other drivers to get the hell away from him when his reaction is slow...

Maybe try to talk to your dad about how you feel when he's not complaining and desperate to go to the store. And repeat the talk as necessary because I'm sure he'll have forgetten it the next time he needs another potato...

When my grandmother was still alive, she insisted on living on her own. In Asian culture, it's very common for elder parents to live with their child. But my grandma refused to do so. My mom and her sister in law actually took turns doing the shopping for her. Not all the stuffs, but the basic pantry items and things that last a bit longer. Luckily she lived in an area where they had peddlers of produce and fruit circling the neighborhood, so that helped her out...

Sometimes when it gets to be frustrating, I just take a deep breath and remind myself my parents took care of me and had to deal with my temper when I was little, so then it doesn't feel as bad...

I hope it works out

 

[Purplereign]

You guys are so sweet. Thank you for reading and all your kind support. I went to my new awesome gp today and she's lined me up 2 other doctors to see, one a psychologist who's also got a doctorate so she should be good.the other is a scary psychiatrist who deals with post baby things and sort out meds if I need it. It doesn't seem like the childcare will work out unless we pay privately, but that costs way too much . We'll see my gp has been great. She said many of the same things you guys have said. Says much for the quality and awesomeness of interference!
Thanks for it all again

So glad to hear your GP is being fabulous . . . sometimes just the reassurance that you are not going nuts and that the feelings you are experiencing are completely within the spectrum of normal is enough

Private child care is a killer (we looked at it for a bit when the 'baby faced assasin' and 'seek & destroy' were born too) - can you get any assistance at all from the hospital or local volunteer groups . . . maybe you could get in touch with a local church yikes: ) group in your area as they often have grannies who are dying to just do something a few hours a week . . . orrrrr the other thing I did for a bit when the gremlins were tiny was borrow a high school girl (15 year olds adore bubs) for a couple of hours in the afternoon - I just read the paper and drank coffee while she cooed and played . . . think it cost me about $30 a week

anyway - enough of my babbling . . . just know you can always unload here . . . thinking of you and hoping the sun comes out in your world soon

Can I rant ? OK... Old people & their failing memories are driving me crazy I know I should have more patience & understanding, but it's difficult. My parents can't really get around on their own anymore, and just sold their car too (thankfully). My dad is old & cranky and whines about everything. If he takes Dial-a-ride to the market, and wants them to pick him up, he says he has to sit for an hour til they get there. And he's too cheap to call a taxi. So I've offered to take them on the weekends, as that's really the only time I can do it. My husband can't really take them, since he's working long hours and often 6 days a week. . I work during the week and take care of Maddy/shuttling/etc. My mother-in-law has even offered her services on Wednesday or Thursdays if she doesn't have job commitments on those days. So I took my Mom to the drugstore on Saturday cuz she said she needed a few things. Fine & done. So today my sister sends me a message on Facebook that I need to call Mom & Dad because they may need some marketing. My parents live in an apartment, and about a month ago dad called the manager's office complaining that they had no food. So in turn the office calls my sister & she calls me (I live 10 minutes away from the folks). I run & get dressed & take Dad to the market. Ay yi yi. That was a Tues. and by Sat. he needed to go again. He was buying like one potato at a time. My sister tried to tell him to buy a few. I didn't know I had to guide dad into buying more. I thought I was just chauffering. It's like everything has to fit into his schedule with no regard whatsoever that other people have lives or responsibilities. We have our own struggles and it's like it doesn't even matter. The car he just sold he practically gave away. It was worth more than what he got. When I told hubby he just laughed & shook his head.

and a bucket load of sanity coming your way Lila

 

[Galeongirl]

Sorry to hear that Lila. I know it sounds like a nightmare for most parents, but maybe it would be time to look into retirement homes?

 

[Lila64]

Thanks for the hugs & all. Yeah, it would be time for parents to either get some in-home help or some sort of assisted living place (it's been time for a while). But any decent place would cost a fortune, and help would be expensive. My mom would rather not do something like that. My mom would like to go out, even just to the drugstore once in a while. My dad is anti-social and not a people person and just doesn't want to be bothered. He's not interested to go to the store or to the movies or anything. They don't really have any friends, so it's especially lonely for Mom. I just spoke to her and she thanked me again for taking her to the drugstore. She was out of make-up and a couple of essentials. And she said they went to the market yesterday, so I should be off the hook til the weekend. And I think, especially for mom, that a move to assisted living or something like that would be a step closer to....you know. But it would be good for her socially.

Oh, and vjacqb, I don't lose my temper with my parents. I just rant with my husband about it all (he agrees). My dad is just a very stubborn old man. He's always been stubborn too. There's no reasoning with him. He gets flustered & upset. He's the type where if you say you will be there at 2:00pm and you aren't there, he's making calls at 2:05 to whoever was supposed to be there. And for healthcare, he has Kaiser. Try reaching someone there and getting a call back. And amplify it by being an 80 year old man waiting for the call with nothing else to do in life.

I cut my nap short cuz I thought I had to go to the market. Time to get crackin' with work.

 

[zuropa_fit]

Lila and vjacqb, my mom is going through the same thing with my grandma. She's so stubborn and yet so insanely forgetful. It really wears on my mom and the best I can do, being 1000 miles away is to call my mom once a week so she can rant at me. This usually takes about 1/2 hour in which I hear the same stories about how my grandma is driving my mom crazy. But it makes mom feel better. So hopefully coming in here to rant, knowing we're listening helps you feel better.

We'll all be there some day and I only hope there are people (and a health care system) to help us.

 

[Lila64]

 

[MsPurrl]

You guys are so sweet. Thank you for reading and all your kind support. I went to my new awesome gp today and she's lined me up 2 other doctors to see, one a psychologist who's also got a doctorate so she should be good.the other is a scary psychiatrist who deals with post baby things and sort out meds if I need it. It doesn't seem like the childcare will work out unless we pay privately, but that costs way too much . We'll see my gp has been great. She said many of the same things you guys have said. Says much for the quality and awesomeness of interference!
Thanks for it all again

Positive steps!

 

[MsPurrl]

Thanks for the hugs & all. Yeah, it would be time for parents to either get some in-home help or some sort of assisted living place (it's been time for a while). But any decent place would cost a fortune, and help would be expensive. My mom would rather not do something like that. My mom would like to go out, even just to the drugstore once in a while. My dad is anti-social and not a people person and just doesn't want to be bothered. He's not interested to go to the store or to the movies or anything. They don't really have any friends, so it's especially lonely for Mom. I just spoke to her and she thanked me again for taking her to the drugstore. She was out of make-up and a couple of essentials. And she said they went to the market yesterday, so I should be off the hook til the weekend. And I think, especially for mom, that a move to assisted living or something like that would be a step closer to....you know. But it would be good for her socially.

Oh, and vjacqb, I don't lose my temper with my parents. I just rant with my husband about it all (he agrees). My dad is just a very stubborn old man. He's always been stubborn too. There's no reasoning with him. He gets flustered & upset. He's the type where if you say you will be there at 2:00pm and you aren't there, he's making calls at 2:05 to whoever was supposed to be there. And for healthcare, he has Kaiser. Try reaching someone there and getting a call back. And amplify it by being an 80 year old man waiting for the call with nothing else to do in life.

I cut my nap short cuz I thought I had to go to the market. Time to get crackin' with work.

Hang in there, hon. From my own point of view, I guess the "blessing" (if there was one) of losing our parents several years ago spared us having to see them decline.

 

[vjacqb]

Oh, and vjacqb, I don't lose my temper with my parents. I just rant with my husband about it all (he agrees). My dad is just a very stubborn old man. He's always been stubborn too. There's no reasoning with him. He gets flustered & upset. He's the type where if you say you will be there at 2:00pm and you aren't there, he's making calls at 2:05 to whoever was supposed to be there.

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you lose temper with your parents in my earlier post. That was me.
I actually can't imagine you losing your temper...

And it sounds so bad the way I worded it. It was more like I got snippy at them from time to time when I can't get them to see my point...
My parents know I inherited my dad's stubbornness and snippiness...
But what's bad is I found out from my mom that dad's high temper flares up more often as he gets older. It's sort of like the filter that's usually there before he gets really mad is worn out, and now he will just speak anything that comes to his mind.

So far he's refused to retire completely. He still serves on board of directors of a small company, so he only works two days a week. I can't imagine how his colleagues deal with him at work...

In my country (Indonesia) it's not the culture to have parents in a retirement home. So there aren't a lot of privately owned retirement homes, just government-run ones. And their conditions are pretty bad. Most elderlies live with their children, or they live on their own, but have a help or two. It's not too expensive to get someone to come in and clean the house, do the laundry and other chores.

I found out how expensive some of the retirement homes here from my conversation with my landlord last year.

 

[Lila64]

My dad lost his snippy/yelling filter a long time ago. The minute I brought Mom home it started. My Mom couldn't remember where she had put her money. She had searched her purse a few times at the store. Dad wouldn't give her the check book or a creditcard. I said I'd pay by creditcard & she could reimburse me (which I had to repeat over & over). So we get home, tell Dad to write a check and he starts yelling at her about not being able to keep track of the cash he had given her, etc. Mom goes to the bedroom to look, and I look in her purse & found it in a side zipper. The one place she didn't look In the meantime, my dad can't just talk in a normal voice.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Big hugs to you, Lila and vjacqb! I wish I had some useful advice. Parenting difficult parents is never easy. Do any shops in the area do online shopping and delivery? I guess that will still mean you'd have to help them with payments (unless they're computer savvy?) and organising what they need, etc. I wish there was a solution. My parents are somewhat similar, but my sister lives with them so she gets lumped with too much of the burden. If we had any answers for our own folks I'd definitely pass it on.

 

[Lila64]

My parents don't own a computer, so that's not an option. And I cannot help them financially. Just trying to help myself at the moment My dad just needs to try & fit in with other people's schedules and not the other way around. Such is life...

 

[Galeongirl]

Sounds like a not so pleasant situation Lila. I know the 'yelling filter' thing all too well because of my own dad. I don't even want to know how he'll be like when he gets really old as he's already a forgetful jerk as he is now. I still don't know how my mom puts up with him.

 

[vjacqb]

We'll all be there some day and I only hope there are people (and a health care system) to help us.

Amen.

 

[The Sad Punk]

I really need a PS3 (yeah, I'd put 'need' in front of 'want' here), but I quit my job last week and now it's gonna be a pain in the arse to spend $450 straight out.

Though I'm actually learning how to save money through all this, which is something else, I tell ya.

 

[kafrun]

I'm beginning to think that I'm psychic when it comes to my clients.. It never fails, I think about someone who hasn't been in in a while and they book within the next few days. A couple of weeks ago, I had a very random dream about a client. The next morning, I got to the clinic early and checked the messages. Sure enough, there was one from him wanting to book in with me. The following week, I was thinking randomly about two different clients, one who I had seen throughout her pregnancy, and the other who I hadn't seen in over a year. Later that week, the first client stopped by to introduce me to her baby and the second booked in for that afternoon. That evening, I was out with friends and randomly dicussing one of our favorite long-time clients and today he came in. This isn't a new trend, it's just getting more and more frequent and harder to explain away by coincidence........

 

[Purplereign]

^ you should channel that talent missy . . .

 

[Galeongirl]

I'm beginning to think that I'm psychic when it comes to my clients.. It never fails, I think about someone who hasn't been in in a while and they book within the next few days. A couple of weeks ago, I had a very random dream about a client. The next morning, I got to the clinic early and checked the messages. Sure enough, there was one from him wanting to book in with me. The following week, I was thinking randomly about two different clients, one who I had seen throughout her pregnancy, and the other who I hadn't seen in over a year. Later that week, the first client stopped by to introduce me to her baby and the second booked in for that afternoon. That evening, I was out with friends and randomly dicussing one of our favorite long-time clients and today he came in. This isn't a new trend, it's just getting more and more frequent and harder to explain away by coincidence........

How many fingers am I holding up?

 

[Purplereign]

^

 

[Lila64]

Kafrun- can you channel my customers to buy stuff from me? Kthnxbai!

 

[RedRocksU2]

How many fingers am I holding up?

 

[vjacqb]

I'm beginning to think that I'm psychic when it comes to my clients.. It never fails, I think about someone who hasn't been in in a while and they book within the next few days.

This isn't a new trend, it's just getting more and more frequent and harder to explain away by coincidence........

It's called intuition, and you should preserve that. You're probably just getting more attuned to your clients...

I live 10,000 miles away from my mom. And for the past year (one of the hardest years I've had to go through) it never fails, whenever I'm sad, or troubled, and thinking of calling my mom, the next thing I know my phone rings and it's her, asking if I'm doing okay.

 

[No spoken words]

How many fingers am I holding up?

She doesn't need to be a psychic to guess which finger I'm holding up when reading her posts.