question for ladies

[marik]

i've posted questions regarding this before, but i keep thinking up things to ask.
when you see a guy that wear's his hat EVERYDAY, and refuses to take it off- when asked, to re-adjust, NEVER, do you suspect that he is balding and thats the real reason?
do you ever have that shocked, kinda pity, feeling when some guy takes off his hat and you are surprised to see he's been balding underneath there the whole time you'd known him, but you never considered it?
wouldn't you agree, that when you see a young guy balding (18-21) you feel more pity for him than if you saw a 40 yr old balding guy?

and my real question, do you think a normal guy could pull off the look that Edge does to hide that he is balding? i mean, edge looks cool, and barely EVER takes his headgear off, not for his own wedding, not for funerals (well, some of them). what if an every day guy (ie: not a rock god) had this style/ attitude? would it still seem cool? could he pull it off? (imagine an everyday guy trying to wear sunglasses ALL the time indoors, he'd look like an idiot) would it look too try-hardish? disrepectful to not remove it?

i know i sound obsessed, but that's because i am!

 

[For Honor]

I wear my sunglasses when I go groccery shopping, or if I am feeling particularly full of myself on some days.

Or, if I just don't want direct eye contact with people. Sometimes It gets tiring looking into people like that.


DAMN! I lost my sunglasses somewhere!!!!!!!


well, I guess that doesn't help much.
I'm not bald, but I have a feeling I will be soon - thin hair.....

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I don't feel pity for balding people. It happens with some people. That's life. They have no control over it, so I don't quite understand being bothered by it or feeling sad for them.

And yes, I think a non-famous guy could pull off the Edge-type look with the whole hat deal. It all depends on the individual person, some looks just work better on some people than they do on others. Same goes with the sunglasses deal. But as long as they're cool people, that's really all that truly matters to me .

Angela

 

[myusernamehere]

I would feel worse if the guy decided to get a toupee. That screams "Hey look at my feeble attempt to cover up my bald spot with this piece of roadkill."

Bald is sexy. [/freak moment of the day]

It seems like you are too concerned about what others think. Don't worry about that, if someone is going to think different about you because of something physical, then forget them. If you want to wear a hat all the time, for whatever reason, go for it. If others want to think it's because of hair loss issues, so what?

 

[For Honor]

Holy moly, I just found my sunglasses. THanks, marik, you inadvertantly helped me find them

 

[LoveTown]

i say if you are balding and you have the head/face shape to pull it off just shave your head or buzz your hair really short. Don't be ashamed of what you are. You dont HAVE to cover it up. Flaunt it and work it instead.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I think men who wear hats constantly are plain rude. Ok, to be fair, when they wear them inside. It is nothing but rudeness to not take a hat off inside. End of story. Balding or not, who cares. Age gracefully, bald gracefully. Vanity pisses me off. It's only hair. If anyone goes bald, be thankful it is the least of your worries, is my view.

 

[dandy]

Bald is sexy. [/freak moment of the day]

[/second freak reporting for duty]

i don't know why men are so concerned about having a full head of thick, lustrous hair. if it's getting a little sparse, just get a pop chop or shave it off. balding is only hideous when compensated for with a combover, a ridiculous hat, or a toupee.

as for the hat question: one of my exes used to wear this falling apart ugly ass stinky baseball cap all the damned time. he would get mad when someone would tell him that it's rude to eat dinner out with it on, etc. he only took the bloody thing off when he was in the shower or sleeping. it was like his security blanket.

he wasn't balding, he was just an idiot.

 

[Liesje]

Dude, this is like your third thread on this issue, so I get the vibe that you are really self-conscious about it. As a lady, I'll say that I would not be turned off by the fact that a guy was balding, but by the fact that he's never able to accept it and feel good about himself. I've seen a lot of guys 18-20 that have started balding. Usually I just think "oh, they're balding...oh well" and that's that. You are more than your hair. Don't sweat it. If it's really bothering you, you can always bic your head like John Sampson. Personally, I don't like it when guys wear hats every day. It kinda grosses me out. If I knew you and you started wearing a hat everyday, I'd either guess there was something wrong w/ your hair (like it got cut funny or colored funny), or think you're just too attached to your hat and be kinda grossed out at a stinky hat.

 

[Bonochick]

I don't automatically assume that a guy so attached to his hat is bald or balding. My boyfriend is 30 and is balding. He loves wearing hats...but he said he always has. He has a HUGE hat collection. He goes out in public with a hat just as much as he does without though, it seems, so it's not that he's trying to cover up...he just really likes hats. I think he looks hot either way, so I don't care.

 

[Cassis]

pop chop

dandy why did you ave to use those words

 

[dandy]

sorry, Tom.



didn't know you preferred bono with hair.

 

[Cassis]

i prefer regular language

 

[dandy]

 

[Cassis]

i want you to apologize to me

 

[Carmelu2fan]

I think some bald guys are hot!!! ehhmm ...two words THE EDGE=SEXY BALD GUY

 

[marik]

yeah, cuz he's the edge. if he was just a joe-blow nobody walking down the street you probably wouldn't give him a second look. being a rockstar makes one better looking. its a fact. i mean, if a guy was walking around wearing sunglasses all the time and leather jackets and cowboy hats, chances are you'd laugh at him.

 

[Chizip]

yeah, cuz he's the edge. if he was just a joe-blow nobody walking down the street you probably wouldn't give him a second look. being a rockstar makes one better looking. its a fact. i mean, if a guy was walking around wearing sunglasses all the time and leather jackets and cowboy hats, chances are you'd laugh at him.

very true

if Bono wasn't "Bono," just an ordinary guy, and you saw him wearing shades when it was dark or when he was inside you'd think he was a jackass.

now i know some pleba girls will come in here and say bono has the look to pull it off, but thats bs, he can pull it off because he is a rockstar.

but on that note, there are some good looking balding men. confidence is key.

 

[starsgoblue]

There's some sunglass wearing 'jackasses' that come into my work and I think a select few are kinda hot....of course you'd argue that I've been conditioned to respond that way. And to that I must say, Bono looks good with or without shades.... And I seem to have a thing for jackasses in general....


Seriously though I digress, if a guy looked good in a beanie then it really doesn't matter if he's got anything underneath and he should sport it. Same for shades. Or whatever else makes you look good.

And there really isn't anything that's more sexy than confidence.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

if Bono wasn't "Bono," just an ordinary guy, and you saw him wearing shades when it was dark or when he was inside you'd think he was a jackass.

I wouldn't think that, 'cause what you wear on your body isn't an indication of your personality.

If he seems like a nice guy, I'll talk to him. If he seems like a jerk, I won't. Plain and simple.

Angela

 

[chickadee]

I don't know about guys but I'm a girl and I wear my hat a lot! I'm wearing it now and it's not very cold and I'm indoors but I like it *shrugs*

 

[Bonochick]

if Bono wasn't "Bono," just an ordinary guy, and you saw him wearing shades when it was dark or when he was inside you'd think he was a jackass.

I might not think he's a jackass, but I probably would start singing "Sunglasses At Night".

 

[U2Kitten]

I do feel pity for balding guys, especially those who have hereditary baldness that hits so young. I like the Edge look and personally prefer it to a sparse head. I think a lot of people could 'pull it off' as long as no one pulls the hat off (which would be rude) I don't know why people make fun of hats and wigs, if someone is trying to improve their appearance and they don't feel comfortable bald, what's wrong with that?

 

[U2Kitten]

very true

if Bono wasn't "Bono," just an ordinary guy, and you saw him wearing shades when it was dark or when he was inside you'd think he was a jackass.

The first thing I'd think is that the guy was blind, if it became obvious he could see (like you see him walking around) the next thing I'd guess would be on drugs, doesn't want you to see his dialated pupils or bloodshot eyes.

Even though I am a fan of Bono I do think his sunglasses make him look pretentious to others, and often when he's dissed in the press they are mentioned in a negative way. But most of all, I think Bono has gorgeous eyes and needs to stop hiding them.

 

[starsgoblue]

I don't understand why wearing a hat indoors is rude. Doesn't offend me in the least unless it's a huge gigantic Kentucky Derby style hat that obstructs my view--then that's rude.

 

[joerags]

I have been slowly losing my hair and it's really bothering me because I have this notion that women do not like bald men no matter how great of a personality you have. Therefore, I feel like no woman would like me no matter how nice or kind I am. But I don't blame women for not liking bald men. Looks are very important, whether we admit it or not.

 

[LoveTown]

joe I will say this. Some men are scorching hot bald. So, try to be confident. 99.9 % of the time it really isn't so much how you look, it's how you carry yourself that makes you sexy.

I'm a woman by the way

 

[marik]

joe, i can relate to you. i'm at exactly the same place. how old are you? i'm 23, and only wish i could have till i'm 30 and i'd be happy, but no, it's happening so damn young. it really upsets me, cuz i know we live in a world where looks matter more than we say they do. i know the girls on this forum are nice and kind with their words, but in my life, i cant find these girls anywhere. and frankly, i don't blame them. i would be the same way. i mean, i'm sure i could meet a fat, balding, scarred face, whatever...woman and find she has an awesome personality. but i would not be attracted physically, and that would keep us as friends only. i NEED to be physically attracted AND personality-wise attracted to a girl for a relationship. if the physical is not there, then i keep her as a friend. i feel that most people would feel the same way. sure, i have attractive qualities in my personality, as does everyone else-that makes them unique. but nothing that's AMAZINGLY better than everyone else. so it comes down....sure i'm a nice guy, would treat her amazing, etc... but in a world of 6 billion people, she could find someone just as nice, that would treat her just as amazing, but be better looking cuz they have a full head of hair. and i wouldn't blame her for going with him, cuz she should. why settle for less? personality traits seem to be limited. lots of people are nice. lots of people are funny. etc. but a TOTALLY unique trait, is one's looks. and that's why i think they are so important. i feel if i ever got a good woman,
a) i would always fear that she would meet a guy that offers everything i do, PLUS better looks
b) she is only with a bald guy cuz she doesn't think she could get better. i know this is sounding really brutal, but picture this....
a girl gets a new BF and tells her family and girl friends etc about him. they all get excited and want to meet him. when they first lay eyes on him, in that split second, the will make an opinion, and it will REALLY stick out if he's bald. later when the girls are all talking about him, i'm sure it would come up, "i didn't expect him to be bald, you dont care about that?"

sorry for venting. but i honestly would say, this hand i've been deal in life, is an issue for me on a DAILY basis. i know i obsess about it, and i want to be able to except it, but its so hard for me, even harder becasue of this sex-selling world we live in where a guy is made to feel like he's a loser if he's not attractive and can't score with woman (which is not what i want, i just want a good one that loves me for me, and is good looking herself, and who makes me feel like i am good-looking despite the lack of hair i will have, and who makes me stop fearing that she will find someone else better) do others have these same problems?

 

[joerags]

FINALLY.

Thank you, Marik. That is perhaps the best post I have ever read.
I'm sorry, but I just can't believe it when women say, "No, looks aren't important. It's about personality and confidence." They say that, but then they act differently. I'm sorry, but it is so true. Of course, looks are important. I always read those online dating profiles of women and they all say the same thing: I want a guy who is sweet, nice, great personality, sense of humor, ect. But they never say, he must be handsome. Is it because being handsome is such a must or goes without saying, that it doesn't need to listed as a quality?

Just look at the show Average Joe. Some of those guys were bald and fat. But no, the women always went for the hunky studs. Who could blame them?

So if a woman says, "No, looks aren't important," they are just saying that to make you feel better.

I need to accept the fact that there will be no woman in this world who will find me attractive, no matter how sweet or kind I am. The question is, do I let it bother me, to the point that I will be depressed forever and one day kill myself.
I need to accept the fact that I will be bald, but that life goes on. I just have to have a positive attitude. So what I will never get a girl to like me. I have to just be myself.
We live in a shallow world. Everybody is shallow and if they say they aren't they are liars.
I was talking to my barber about my problem. I was sounding all hopeless, but you know what he said: he said as long as you have your health, that's all that matters. But sometimes I feel so depressed that I wish I had cancer and die.
I am struggling with this mentally. I am taking Rogaine, but it's not working.

It's sad. I will be bald and alone for the rest of my life. But I am hoping that I will shake my negative image of myself and build up my self esteem (even though it's completely zero). I just have to take it one day at a time.

Marik, you and me are so alike.

 

[starsgoblue]

I say this lovingly but I really want to kick both your asses right now.

Yes, looks in some way are important....meaning do you take care of what you have? You can be an average looking guy and still take care of your body and appearance or you can just let yourself go. There are "average" guys that I find attractive because they have the inner confidence to care enough about themselves to take care of themselves. And woman ALWAYS go with the hunky guys? NO. I'm thinking of one time in particular that I turned down this guy who looked like he walked out of an Abercrombie magazine because his personality just was such a turnoff it made him appear very ugly to me. Does there have to be a level of physical attraction? Of course, but you guys seem to think you have to be perfect looking. There are alot of traits that I find personally attractive in men that aren't on the list of supposed standard of hotness...I like those 'imperfections'.