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I considered bald guy once. He was a lovely guy, forget the fact that he was a fireman and it might have influenced me somehow :drool: , but I found out he was exactly twice my age and I couldn't come to terms with that. He honestly looked about 10-15 years younger. I still see him every now and then and he is still a wonderful man. Perhaps that is just as superficial thinking that he is now close to retirement and I haven't even made a dent on a superannuation fund, but that was my reason. Not his follically (sp? lol) challenged head.

Oh, and one more thing, boys. I also have very thin hair. I take after my dad and he's balding badly. I worry more than you blokes will ever understand about going bald. Women who are bald are thought to be cancer sufferers or lesbians. Neither of which is a problem, but because of looks focused men like yourselves, it is a thing no one aspires to because men and women alike stop and point at women with no hair. Men with no hair are barely noticed. I'm going to stop typing in here now. This thread is pissing me off.
:rolleyes:
 
surprisingly, women with thinning hair is not that uncommon. at least it isn't in my life. i am a manager of a small business, with 5 employees working with me. of those 5- 2 are girls. Aged 20, and 21. BOTH of them are balding. i admit i noticed it right away, but have since barely thought about it, unless it was wondering about how much it bothers them compared to how much my loss of hair bothers me. i've never said anything to them about. i have heard someone make a comment about it behind their back, but i didnt even respond to it it was just to distastful to comment on it.

to further talk about it ( some people apparently are gettin annoyed with this thread, i cant understand why, relax, like i said before, we 'sufferers' are just getting it out of us, i try to act tough and pretend it doesnt bother me in my real life, so its refreshing to be able to talk about my insecurities here)

i am almost 24 yrs old, and have wore a hat EVERYDAY - bar none- for the last 4 yrs, when i first started noticing thinning hair. i used to always gel, and spike my hair everyday for yrs, and took great pride in it, and was often thought of as good looking by girls. i feel like i noticed the problem before anyone else did, so to others, it just appears like i changed my style and started wearing hats. i'm sure some suspect it, considering i havent been seen by anyone without it for 4 yrs, but for the most part i feel like those around me dont know. the transition from being thought of as a certain way, and identifing myself as a certain way, TO now being a balding guy, is what i fear. i am legitamatlly scared of doing this, not because of what people may think, or say, (ie: "oh wow, i never knew you were going bald"), what i cant handle is how i will feel about myself, i will feel the embarrassment when you think everyone is looking at you, and your sure your face is beat red, and you just want to fall off the side of the earth. we've all felt that way before, and i just cant comprehend dealing with it. my whole self-identity will be challenged. i worry abou tit everyday, i dont like looking in mirrors without my hat, and i overthink everything about it. i realize that the transition of the person i WAS to the one i AM now is enivatible. but unfortunalty, the adjustment takes time. if it only took one day or one week of being uncomfortable with the new 'me' i present to the world, then i could handle it and get through the day/week of hell. but i think somethink like gaining confidence in your new look, your new skin, would take a lot of time getting used to. like months, or years. so yes, i hope to be confident in myself and then perhaps i will be attractive, but what about the first year, where i can't even pretend i'm confident, where i look so uncomfortable, so insecure, and people will be able to tell.

oh my goodness, here i go over analyising again...you can probably tell i have OCD.

gee, is this making sense?
 
what i often think about, is how i wish i had a lifetime to have various different hairstyles. i look at someone like bono and think of how many different styles he's been able to experiment with over the years. i wish i could grow my hair long and wear a ponytail, and have it shoulder length, and then short and spikey. and i wish i'd have different picture of myself over the years that i could show my future kids, and they could laugh at daddy's weird hair style backin the day. and i wish i could shave it into a mohawk at some point, and even those faux-hawks - even though i hate seeing them on people. i just wish i could have that freedom to experiment and alter my look over the years. but at age 23 i'm stuck with only one possible hairstyle, and even that one is one i dont like. its depressing that i will have to look like this for the rest of my life.
i admire nice heads of hair on others much more now, and i often see people that dont even brush it, dont wash it, dont look after it, and it pisses me off that they dont realize how lucky they really are. it really is something we take for granted until its gone.
LOVE YOUR HAIR FOLKS!
 
I had an incident with some dye and the colour yellow, today. I dont think I actually dislike it much, I once had purple hair and met my future husband (so beuaty is in the eye, etc) but it's hard to get used to. I look jaundiced :happy:

Oh, and have you ever considered shaving your head? If you are seriously going bald and wear a hat, few people will notice. I give one last suggestion of chopping it all off and see how you adjust to that. With a hat, not many will notice and you might be able to avoid the whole trauma. Of course, that is like sticking your hand in a fishtank full of hunstmans when you're arachnaphobic, but you dont really have many options.

And one question, how long do you wear your hair now?
 
Marik, you need to realize that there are all kinds of women in the world, and if you really counted the number of women who rejected you for no other reason than that you're balding, it would probably be an infinitesimally small number compared to the women out there. Something like billionths of a percent. You might be assuming that your loss of hair turns women off about you, when in fact a woman might decide she's not into you for reasons that don't even have anything to do with you!

And I'll join the ranks of women here who agree that a guy losing his hair is so not a deal-breaker. Some guys can look really cute with less hair on top. And a guy who can go totally bald when he starts losing (Edge is a great example!), well, he's super-attractive because it shows that he's realistic, confident, and bold enough to experiment with his look. That's sexy in any woman's book. :up:

Don't fret about losing your hair. It does not automatically spell unattractive any more than a few crow's feet, laugh lines, or grey hairs do, as much as our society worships "youthfulness."
 
I just wanted to add that I saw one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen in my life at a gas station this summer. The way he was dressed, the way he carried himself-that's what I noticed first..in addition to his beautiful face. He was bald. I would have gone out w/ him in a second, not that he would have asked, but yeah, he was stunning :wink:

I would never fault anyone for self-esteem problems (I'm not saying you're doing that dandy :) ) because I understand that issue, believe me. But I've learned the hard way that to dwell on that only hurts you more. You have to find some outlet and some people who will appreciate you for who you are. They are out there. And you have to appreciate yourself too, no one can do that for you.

The only reason people in this thread have gotten upset w/ you two is that you can't seem to see that's what we are saying and accept that we are being truthful about it, and that you seem to be saying that women are all superficial. Honestly that is unattractive to women. Well I'm speaking for myself.
 
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btw hypothetically I would have gone out w/ him even if he wasn't stunning looking, if he was a nice guy and a good person and had other special qualities. You obviously can't determine that from some random encounter at a gas station.

I know and encounter gorgeous men who are real a holes
 
thanks for the dialogue, ladies.

i AM keeping hope that i will find i girl that thinks the way you do.
in my experience, it is rare though. havent found any in 4 yrs. now i'm scared that i will latch onto and fall in love with the first girl i find that accepts it. is this a good thing or bad?
 
Marik, I think you need to look at yourself. You have asked this question before. You have even asked the clothing advice question before. I personally, as well as other female posters on this site, googled some pics for you, to demonstate what looks good on a bald man.

Now you are reasking the question again. What happened to all the advice we provided?

I don't give a stuff about your bald head but your demeaning attitude to women, as well as ignoring the comments given in the previous thread, is really unattractive.

I dont mean this to pick on you but more as wake up call that perhaps it's not your bald head that has earned you a 4 year drought.
 
i did appricate the pics beli, but when i saw them, i did not see a common thread of fashion style. some were just head shots etc. there was one comment about the neck line, but i couldnt understand if it meant a v-neck type shirt showed too much skin combined with the head, or if thats what looks good. sorry for the confusion, i was only asking a more specific question.

as for your suggested wake up call, i do realize that it is needed. but unfortunatley, my last 4 yrs of woman is filled with meeting quite a few actually, dates etc, they like my personality (i hide my insecurities), and then when the hat comes off in the bedroom is where i lose their interest. its that brutal. within a week of seeing it, they're gone. i know thats what's the reason, cuz you can see uncomfortable eyes and stares.

i dont feel like i've demeaned women as a whole at all. it's simply an observation based on my experience that most are superficial when it comes to looks. most of you ladies here, though, sound like you have wonderful attitudes.
 
There were many different styles in that thread as not all bald men have the same personality. Everyone needs to dress to reflect their personality, hence the choices made. My comment about a high neckline, I meant not much neck showing ie buttoned shirts with peaked collars. That was just my personal preferance though and may not suit your lifestyle.

No one hides their insecurities. No one. I'm sure your previous girlfriends were well aware of your issues. Have you asked any of them why they dumped you? Or are you just presuming it was to do with your hair? Dumping someone seems like a pretty shallow thing to do, especially if they've slept with you. (unless these relationships were really quick night club type relationships in which case appearance may well be everything) . Im quite suprised that multiple people, from intimate relationships have dumped you. Thats truely bizarre. Either you are dating superficial women, in which case you should analyse why you are choosing these women, or you've got the wrong end of the stick and it has nothing to do with your hair.
 
Everyone is superficial, whether we admit it or not. If you are not superficial, something is wrong with you.

Looks are everything. Hasn't the show Average Joe taught us anything? The first two seconds you see a person, you automatically know if they are hot or not. If they are not hot, then you will have no interest.

If you are dating a bald guy, you will come across a more handsome man with all the qualities you are looking for and will probably dump the bald loser for the hunky stud. Why do you think women are obsessed with Soap Operas? They want to see the hunks. Who can blame them?

Me? I have a big nose, a skinny face, and losing my hair. If I were a woman, I wouldn't be attractive to a guy like me.

But it's a shame, because even though I may sound like a jerk, I don't consider looks to be important when it comes to women. I am a walking contradiction. I am being absolutely truthful about this. It's like how women are so insecure about their weight, just like I am insecure about my baldness. I don't understand how women are so insecure about their weight. To me, a full-figured woman is just as sexy as these model-type celebrities. This is so true. In fact, I am finding myself more attractive to woman who are full-figured. And I am not overly obese. I am 6-foot, 210 pounds, but I am solid. I look more like a football player.

So my problem is this: I am not superficial, but I have this notion that everybody else in the world is superficial. And that's why I don't have any self-confidence and self-esteem because of what I think the world perceives me, which is a balding, big nose, skinny face dork.
 
joerags said:
Everyone is superficial, whether we admit it or not. If you are not superficial, something is wrong with you.

Looks are everything. Hasn't the show Average Joe taught us anything? The first two seconds you see a person, you automatically know if they are hot or not. If they are not hot, then you will have no interest.

If you are dating a bald guy, you will come across a more handsome man with all the qualities you are looking for and will probably dump the bald loser for the hunky stud. Why do you think women are obsessed with Soap Operas? They want to see the hunks. Who can blame them?

Me? I have a big nose, a skinny face, and losing my hair. If I were a woman, I wouldn't be attractive to a guy like me.

But it's a shame, because even though I may sound like a jerk, I don't consider looks to be important when it comes to women. I am a walking contradiction. I am being absolutely truthful about this. It's like how women are so insecure about their weight, just like I am insecure about my baldness. I don't understand how women are so insecure about their weight. To me, a full-figured woman is just as sexy as these model-type celebrities. This is so true. In fact, I am finding myself more attractive to woman who are full-figured. And I am not overly obese. I am 6-foot, 210 pounds, but I am solid. I look more like a football player.

So my problem is this: I am not superficial, but I have this notion that everybody else in the world is superficial. And that's why I don't have any self-confidence and self-esteem because of what I think the world perceives me, which is a balding, big nose, skinny face dork.
Click to expand...

umm... you need to stop watching TV. Despite being called "reality" shows, there is very little "reality" shown anywhere on tv, and certainly not on programes such as Average Joe.

Are there really superficial people in this world? You bet your ass there are. The come in both genders and all orientations and races. And there are also people of both genders and all orientations and races who aren't superficial. Some of the most attractive guys I know are, quite frankly, nothing special to look at. But they are decent, smart, funny, kind human beings, and that is far more attractive to me that some some pretty, but shallow, obnoxious jerk.
 
marik said:

i dont feel like i've demeaned women as a whole at all. it's simply an observation based on my experience that most are superficial when it comes to looks. most of you ladies here, though, sound like you have wonderful attitudes.
Click to expand...

Okay..........

marik said:
but quite honestly, i'd really wish to have a woman that from the first time i ever saw her i was blown away with her looks, and then got to know her and her persoanlity was just as mind-blowing VS. a girl that was nothing special to look at at first, got to know her personality, fell in love with that, and now see her as beautiful becasue of it.
Click to expand...

So, it's okay for you to be superfical but not okay for women to be superfical? Why the double standard? I think it is demeaning to women to judge them on their looks. You don't seem to like it when women judge you b/c you're balding. You can't have it both ways.:|

It's time to get over yourself. Some people have offered very good advice here. I suggest you take it.
 
joerags said:
If you are dating a bald guy, you will come across a more handsome man with all the qualities you are looking for and will probably dump the bald loser for the hunky stud. Why do you think women are obsessed with Soap Operas? They want to see the hunks. Who can blame them?
Click to expand...

i think the crux of your problem lies here: women are not vapid, mindless creatures who are "obsessed with soap operas" and "hunky" (whatever the hell that means) men. oops, i meant "studs." where i come from, women read books and have careers and can make up our own minds about what we find attractive in a man regardless of whatever mindless drivel is on the telly.

you complain that women aren't attracted to you and assume it must be your lack of hair, but perhaps it's your simplistic view about how women think/are that turns them off.

either that, or you're just messing with us.

:|
 
joerags said:
Everyone is superficial, whether we admit it or not. If you are not superficial, something is wrong with you.

Looks are everything. Hasn't the show Average Joe taught us anything? The first two seconds you see a person, you automatically know if they are hot or not. If they are not hot, then you will have no interest.

If you are dating a bald guy, you will come across a more handsome man with all the qualities you are looking for and will probably dump the bald loser for the hunky stud. Why do you think women are obsessed with Soap Operas? They want to see the hunks. Who can blame them?

Me? I have a big nose, a skinny face, and losing my hair. If I were a woman, I wouldn't be attractive to a guy like me.

But it's a shame, because even though I may sound like a jerk, I don't consider looks to be important when it comes to women. I am a walking contradiction. I am being absolutely truthful about this. It's like how women are so insecure about their weight, just like I am insecure about my baldness. I don't understand how women are so insecure about their weight. To me, a full-figured woman is just as sexy as these model-type celebrities. This is so true. In fact, I am finding myself more attractive to woman who are full-figured. And I am not overly obese. I am 6-foot, 210 pounds, but I am solid. I look more like a football player.

So my problem is this: I am not superficial, but I have this notion that everybody else in the world is superficial. And that's why I don't have any self-confidence and self-esteem because of what I think the world perceives me, which is a balding, big nose, skinny face dork.
Click to expand...

Wow Joerags, it's astonishing to read how many prejudices are installed in your mind. You are not superficial but have the idea that everyone else is? Why? And especially women? Because a brainless tv-show "taught" you that?

I don't even know where to begin, commenting to this post.

I'm sad to say that I'm inclined to believe that your "problems" are far deeper than balding. And that the balding for you is a perfect excuse to blame all your unfortune on, rather than searching deeper an confronting the underlying issues.
 
dandy said:

i think the crux of your problem lies here: women are not vapid, mindless creatures who are "obsessed with soap operas" and "hunky" (whatever the hell that means) men. oops, i meant "studs." where i come from, women read books and have careers and can make up our own minds about what we find attractive in a man regardless of whatever mindless drivel is on the telly.

you complain that women aren't attracted to you and assume it must be your lack of hair, but perhaps it's your simplistic view about how women think/are that turns them off.

either that, or you're just messing with us.

:|
Click to expand...

I have to agree :up: sorry
 
marik said:
i've posted questions regarding this before, but i keep thinking up things to ask.
when you see a guy that wear's his hat EVERYDAY, and refuses to take it off- when asked, to re-adjust, NEVER, do you suspect that he is balding and thats the real reason?
do you ever have that shocked, kinda pity, feeling when some guy takes off his hat and you are surprised to see he's been balding underneath there the whole time you'd known him, but you never considered it?
wouldn't you agree, that when you see a young guy balding (18-21) you feel more pity for him than if you saw a 40 yr old balding guy?

and my real question, do you think a normal guy could pull off the look that Edge does to hide that he is balding?
Click to expand...


Look, I haven't read all the posts in this thread, not yet.
But what do you really want to find out?

Is this another manifestation of your self pity or something? Don't you realize that the more you make a big deal about baldness, the more it dominates your life, and who you are?


I mean, raelly. If a girl walks up to you, anyone, a guy, a school aged kid..... and you talk about how you suck because your bald, well...... I mean, what do you expect?

You're letting it define who you are.
And you're becoming something worse than you can possibly image, apparently. If you're not going to do something about it, then stop whinning. If you are, then do it. But please, don't enjoy wallowing. That is more than repelling.....





=--------------------


And one more thing......
I know someone who is this way - do you actually enjoy it when people say they feel sorry for you?

Or... is it like, you're addicted to get people to see your way?




And honestly, baldness isn't the issue here.
It looks like you're attitude is.
 
I think you're afraid


You like the comfort zone of "well, I'm not supposed to get a decent relationship, or a goodlooking girl, because I'm "ugly"". So you don't even try, because trying would be too hard.

BUt you've got to break out of that, man.
I've seen people who never do, and never get anywhere.
It is the same trap, in different forms, and people set themselves up.



How long has this been going on, really?
How much energy have you wasted?
Time spent worrying, or just.... not getting what you want?
If you want to move on in your life, then you've got to get over this.

And don't look anywhere else for answers - they are inside yourself. I mean, really... you are the one who feels bad about this.

I don't really care, honestly.

But since you do, then you've got to change something.
Something isn't working.
The best thing to do would be to change your mind about this, change how you view things.

You can go after the leaves, the branchs, or the roots, and I suggest you get to the root of the problem.




why are you really spending so much time on this subject???
 
Originally posted by joerags So my problem is this: I am not superficial, but I have this notion that everybody else in the world is superficial. And that's why I don't have any self-confidence and self-esteem because of what I think the world perceives me, which is a balding, big nose, skinny face dork.
Click to expand...



There you go. You list things negatively and say you have problems.




You haven't proved anything......

so yeah, what do you really want out of this thread?, that's my question
 
the soul waits said:


Wow Joerags, it's astonishing to read how many prejudices are installed in your mind. You are not superficial but have the idea that everyone else is? Why? And especially women? Because a brainless tv-show "taught" you that?

I don't even know where to begin, commenting to this post.

I'm sad to say that I'm inclined to believe that your "problems" are far deeper than balding. And that the balding for you is a perfect excuse to blame all your unfortune on, rather than searching deeper an confronting the underlying issues.
Click to expand...

With all due respect, how else am I going to feel when there is not a single woman in this world who likes me.

Picture this: a guy with a skinny face, a big nose and balding? Now, you're going to tell me that you would be attracted to me? I am like kryptonite when it comes to women. They are utterly repulsed by me because of my looks. I have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, still a virgin. God honest truth. And you know why?

BECAUSE I AM UGLY!!!!!

So if anybody thinks I am "messing with you", you're wrong. I appreciate your thoughts and advice, but if you are ugly, then you are ugly. And no girl would ever find me attractive. It's not about confidence or personality. It's about looks. We are all superficial. It's our nature. Just admit it and don't feel guilty about it.
 
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