Quarter Life Crisis...

[BostonAnne]

Melon and to all that are sharing a similiar experience. I hope jobs become available for all of you yesterday.


diamond, I was surprised to hear such criticism from you. Not being able to find a job to support yourself is not an easy thing for anyone to go through.

 

[arsenalfan]

I just turned 30 in August, and I too am feeling this. I have a job, which pays better than many of my friends'. I did not get my bachelor's, as I was offered a full time position by the place I was working, and decided that I'd take a break from school. Besides, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. That was 10 years ago.

Now I'm in a job that pays well, but has absolutely horrible hours. In fact, one co-worker left this job after being told by his doctor that it was adversely effecting his health. I don't hate my job, but it doesn't really inspire me.

There have been many "downsizings" and "off-shorings" here, and there are rumors of even further changes.

So, what to do? Do I study my ass off/get certifications (I work in IS), or do I completely change course, and pursue something that I've not yet thought of?

I've been with my gf for almost seven years, and would love to get married sometime soon, but how can I drag her into this uncertainty?

 

[oliveu2cm]

Hey arsenalfan,

(I've seen your football team play Leeds United, my boyfriend's fav. team. )

Anyway I was inspired to write after reading your post. I'd talk honestly with your girlfriend about all this. I bet she can offer a good ear to listen and maybe some helpful advice. If getting married is dependent upon figuring out uncertanties, then it is affecting her too. She might have ideas on how you can get by while achieving a certificate.

Then see how much you want to get another job. How negative are the health effects? IMO, a job isn't worth your health, especially with other options available. Can you possibly transfer to another department or another company, w/o needing a certificate?

I certainly know how overwhelming things like this can be, especially when financial security is involved. Speak with your gf and your close friends whose opinions you trust and weigh out all the options. Good luck.

 

[meegannie]

 

[joyfulgirl]

Wow, I just read all this and realize how out of touch I've been with the employment crisis in this country. I live in a town where people tend to have jobs rather than careers and everyone I know is employed and doing well, and that's unusual for here. I guess the kind of jobs we have here do well in weak economies. I feel very grateful for my job.

melon, move to Santa Fe and get your real estate license. You'll make a shitload of money to finance the movie you can make with all the B-list actors who live here. And Santa Fe is almost as good as living in Canada.

 

[sulawesigirl4]

I have a job, if one can call it that, but it is lower than minimum wage. No one ever said volunteering paid good money. I think, overall, joining the Peace Corps has been a way for me to put all these job worries on hold for two years. But time is ticking and I'm not sure what I'll do when I finish. I have thousands of $$ in student loan debt to pay off. My game plan for the moment is to try to network with NGOs here in Africa while I live here and see if I can't get a low-level job with one when I finish my Peace Corps service. At least here in Africa, cost of living is relatively cheap.

I have been thinking a lot about this whole idea of jobs and job security since the guy I have been dating here has still not been able to find work. He is young and smart and tri-lingual, but we live in one of the five poorest countries in the world. There simply are no jobs to be had. It is pulling me apart to watch his self-esteem be chipped away day after day. And I ask myself how we can even begin to evaluate the future of our relationship honestly when any future outside of Africa would require us to return to the US, get married, find work, get him citizenship, etc. It is a soul-numbing choice and one that I don't want to make.

 

[AcrobatMan]

I hope all of you get the jobs you ever wanted...
with the salaries you wanted..

 

[joyfulgirl]

sula

 

[scatteroflight]

I'm having a massive quarter life crisis, man. I'm 25 and it was triggered by a rather short failed relationship with a guy four years younger than me, earlier this year. Due to circumstances we usually end up in the same room at least twice a week so I haven't been able to just completely cut him out of my life as it might have been best to do for a while at least. I'm acting like a freak and I can see myself doing it--I act like I want to be friendly again and then I completely go off at him. But he hasn't helped by being condescending about my relative lack of experience in relationships (compared to his massive amounts--a few girls he dated and dumped for distraction, and one nearly year-long relationship when he was 18, with a girl whose issues he completely overlooked and she ended up cheating on him and leaving. He told me when we broke up that he'd always love her. Apparently that was a big deal in his life, and this wasn't. Twist the knife.) A lot of things haven't helped.

I'm from Canada. I've lived in Dublin for two and a half years. I don't know what I'm doing here any more but I don't know what I'd be doing anywhere else. I'll probably go back to Canada for a while at least next year but I don't know that it will make me happier. I have a job which allows me to travel a lot, and that has been great but the job itself is pretty crap, certainly for someone with an honours degree. I do volunteer work which is fulfilling but less than it should be, somehow, which I think is my own attitude problem--it is part of my religious life and so very important to me but sometimes it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I feel like I've become far too dependent on other people. I've lived in the same house for a year and a half and have had about ten different roommates, which I eventually realized is driving me mad. I no longer do enough of the things I consider important, like writing and reading. Etcetera.

I'm feeling more than a little lost...

 

[diamond]

I still think it would be best if those in the doldrums and thinking their life is lousy would get busy counting their blessings and perhaps helping people less forunate then themselves.
This cures alot of depression.

some of these pictured won't live or did not live long enough to have a quarter-life crisis.

photos posted for thought provocation.

peace,

db9

 

[melon]

I know that you are probably trying to help, but it is of my opinion that "count your blessings," while decent advice, is often counterproductive. The way it comes across, to me, is that people have no right to complain, unless they live in a third-world country.

I have my reasons to be angry. America is not all it is cracked up to be anymore; and if we all spent more time listening to each other, then perhaps we, as a society, could work on those problems. Telling us, in essence, to "shut up and take it" doesn't try and solve the root of our problems.

But I know that isn't what you said. I accept that you've been trying to be helpful, and, as such, I thank you. I'd like to think that there is a middle ground between "counting your blessings" and working for change.

Melon

 

[diamond]

Melon,
So noted.
I think there is a happy medium on how to deal w/this topic you wrote about.
That's all.


db9

 

[Schmeg]

I still think it would be best if those in the doldrums and thinking their life is lousy would get busy counting their blessings and perhaps helping people less forunate then themselves.
This cures alot of depression.

some of these pictured won't live or did not live long enough to have a quarter-life crisis.

photos posted for thought provocation.

peace,

db9

Believe it or not, the fact that I have done nothing about some of these causes is pushing my crisis along. I know from personal experience that a harsh dose of perspective does wonders for depression.

That is all I can say right now without laying on the sarcasm.

Thanks for the perpective.

 

[diamond]

Schmeg,
Thanks for your kind words.

Just one more..
Here's a link that is painful yet beautiful.

I hope ppl who are in a funk realize it for what it is..a funk. We all have it in us to make it pass any obstacle that is thrown our way.

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/local/news-article.aspx?storyid=28372

God Bless,
diamond

 

[pax]

At this festive time of year, I am trying to count my blessings and maintain a positive attitude, but right now almost everything is going wrong. I'm worried that I've staked everything on my NYCTF interview tomorrow...and if it doesn't work out, what then? Back to customer service?

I did work hard and follow the rules--all through high school, all through college. I worked summers and during the year in college, got awesome grades, did an internship...did everything *right*, I guess, and am facing a layoff and mounting bills. I am lucky, I know, to have supportive friends and family, and I don't have to worry about being homeless or anything...but still.



Plus my fiance left me for another woman, and then other stuff happened romantically...and so I'm feeling, in fact, VERY .

 

[melon]

Plus my fiance left me for another woman, and then other stuff happened romantically...and so I'm feeling, in fact, VERY .

This actually happened to an ex-roommate of mine. He was with his girlfriend for what...four years? They even moved together to a different part of the country as he went to law school. She ended up dumping him for his best friend there. Pretty sucky, but the way I look at it? He was lucky to not have married her then, if she has this kind of character.

I'm sorry to hear that everything sucks for you right now. I'm still in a tailspin myself here, but I've been using the past few months to reposition myself. I've also been forced to admit that for what I know, I'm in the completely wrong part of the nation to live. So, in January, I'm heading to NYC for a while. If that fails? LA. I'm still keeping Toronto in my headlights, but I'm forced to admit that the TV/film industry there has many limitations and obstacles that make it pretty damn difficult for me to do it. C'est dommage.

I certainly hope 2005 is much kinder for all of us. If all else fails, I'll be doing TEFL in Japan!

Melon

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I should've gone to NYC with pax....