(couldn't think of a better title for this topic, ah well)
It's been a bit of a trying first half of the year for me, and it seems that the next half is going to be just as hard. Here's the lowdown:
In January, my parents split up. Just over a month later mum started going out with this guy she knows from home. I told her I thought it was too fast and she got overly defensive. I eventually got somewhat used to the idea and I met the guy when he and mum came down for the Rolling Stones concert, he seems nice enough. Mum and dad had put the house on sale a little while after they broke up, and it's now being bought. Dad already lives somewhere else and mum said nothing to me about where she was going to live, just that she has to be out by the 18th of August. After speaking with mum on Sunday my sister texted me telling me that mum is moving in with her boyfriend (the guy above) and that mum didn't want to tell me for fear of my reaction.
I don't want to broach the subject with mum till she tells me, whenever that may be. However the main problem I'm having is the growing feeling that mum and I are growing apart. In a nutshell mum is in the throes of a mid-life crisis, which in my mind is making her increasingly self involved, example being she was going to go and visit my sister down south this weekend just gone, but then pulled out of that idea to spend the weekend somewhere else with her boyfriend. This made me really really angry. Also, mum and I have alsways been different personality wise, and this is just widening the gap, when we talk on the phone there can be long gaps of silence where neither of us has anything to say. This makes me pretty sad but it almost feels like mum is doing most of the widening of the gap herself with ehr actions. I'm trying to be understanding and I'm okay with the idea of her having a boyfriend, but I think it just happened way too fast in the first place, and now this.
Anyone have any advice for dealing with this? I want to speak to mum about all of this without nutting at her but I don't know if I can at the moment. So stupid and complicated!
It's been a bit of a trying first half of the year for me, and it seems that the next half is going to be just as hard. Here's the lowdown:
In January, my parents split up. Just over a month later mum started going out with this guy she knows from home. I told her I thought it was too fast and she got overly defensive. I eventually got somewhat used to the idea and I met the guy when he and mum came down for the Rolling Stones concert, he seems nice enough. Mum and dad had put the house on sale a little while after they broke up, and it's now being bought. Dad already lives somewhere else and mum said nothing to me about where she was going to live, just that she has to be out by the 18th of August. After speaking with mum on Sunday my sister texted me telling me that mum is moving in with her boyfriend (the guy above) and that mum didn't want to tell me for fear of my reaction.
I don't want to broach the subject with mum till she tells me, whenever that may be. However the main problem I'm having is the growing feeling that mum and I are growing apart. In a nutshell mum is in the throes of a mid-life crisis, which in my mind is making her increasingly self involved, example being she was going to go and visit my sister down south this weekend just gone, but then pulled out of that idea to spend the weekend somewhere else with her boyfriend. This made me really really angry. Also, mum and I have alsways been different personality wise, and this is just widening the gap, when we talk on the phone there can be long gaps of silence where neither of us has anything to say. This makes me pretty sad but it almost feels like mum is doing most of the widening of the gap herself with ehr actions. I'm trying to be understanding and I'm okay with the idea of her having a boyfriend, but I think it just happened way too fast in the first place, and now this.
Anyone have any advice for dealing with this? I want to speak to mum about all of this without nutting at her but I don't know if I can at the moment. So stupid and complicated!
hopefully she'll start learning how to at least put everyone equal and not make you and your family feel neglected because she's always spending time with her boyfriend. 
