Problem- (Minor to you, Major to me)

[gareth brown]

This may seem quite childish because of my age [16] but it doesn't to me!

Where the hell do I start? It would appear that I, around 10-12 years after swearing to my uncle one evening over dinner that I would never get a girlfriend, and desperate to approach a certain young lady...!

It's just embarassing! I'm using this account as a disguise, as my mates have a habit of searching each other's names on Google during lessons in computer rooms at school and the first results that spring up when my name is searched for are Interference pages! If I were to type this under my proper name sod's law says THIS mini-rant would be the first result to pop up and ALL WOULD BE LOST...so I can't take any chances!

Anyway, to the point...! I've always noticed this girl when I've been walking about in school, and until recently have never said a word to her...but recently I was lucky enough to be working on the technical balcony (lighting and sound crap) for our school's annual production, in which she had a leading part.

In short, all of a sudden it just sprang on me...she is fucking gorgeous! Whenever I see her it's fantastic even if I don't say anything, and I spent far too long just looking at her from a distance as she got on with her acting in rehearsals and on the night, etc...it just feels great! You know how teenagers are, just thinking beauty is only skin-deep etc. I've always tried to never think that way about anyone EVER, and after spending a few minutes talking to this girl when working on the school production every now and again, I've realised she is one of the sweetest, most charming people I've ever met...plus she's extremely pretty as well!

This problem was going to get a completely different topic as it's proving impossible NOT to think about her, and the new U2 album's gone and made it worse! Why did that cd have to come out at this time?! Now when I listen to it while going to sleep, tracks like 'city of blinding lights' and 'original of the species' remind me of no-one but her! And she would appear to be permanently fixed on my mind at the moment!

The problem is, she's in the year below, I have around six months left in my school before I take my final exams and leave! On top of that, I've never asked anybody out before, as (despite always trying to hide anything that bothers me and appear to be as calm and collected as i can be) I always find it extremely difficult to talk about ANYTHING to do with women, relationships etc. and have always kept my opinions to myself on things such as that...!

Ideally, I would love to say "Hi, would you like to go out some time yadda yadda yadda..." and kind of keep it to myself where my family are concerned in case it doesn't work out, and if it's a stomping success just bring it up over dinner with the family, casual as possible...! But then if I were lucky enough to go out with her and didn't mention it to my family, she'd think I was ashamed of her!!

I know my family would never judge me if I went out with anyone, I've been extremely lucky to be brought up the way I have been and know there wouldn't be any problem telling them I was going out with someone! I don't have a controlling family, but I think at the end of the day, there's going to be a time where the mask is just going to slip and I'll just have to admit that I am an extremely shy individual...!!

I really am stuck here!

What do I do?! Just sod all others and tell her "Look, I am infatuated with you and would really like to spend some more time with you!" before I leave the school, blowing any chances of seeing her again since she lives MILES away in another town and I'm going to a college in the completely opposite direction...?!

Or WHAT?! What alternative is there?!

I've never discussed these kind of things before, let alone to a bunch of strangers!! It really is worrying me! I've never felt THIS way about anyone and while I've often seen people as attractive and got on well with them, this is the first person that's made me think "Dammit, what the fuck are you playing at?! Just ask her out!"

Anyone care to offer some advice?!

 

[beli]

Ask her out. Thats my opinion and you want opinions. Ask if she wants to go for a walk in the park, or have lunch together at school. Talk to her. Give it a go. Dont worry about your family or the future. Just ask her.

 

[bsp77]

Just ask her. I was usually very shy in high school and didn't get confidence until college. I have really learned that you regret the things that you do NOT do much more than the things you do. As for maybe only seeing her for six months, don't worry about that now. If you worry about the potential pitfalls, you will be too scared to ever do much of anything. Just be honest with her and ask her out. The worst thing that will happen is she says no, which is much better than never asking and wondering if she would have said yes.

 

[U2democrat]

Get to know her, then ask her out. I have a similar family situation (I'm 18 and they think I'm not yet interested in boys.....what little they know). However I'm not going to worry about them whenever I get a boyfriend.

 

[whackjester]

Uh, dude, dont' tell her your infatuated with her. Other than that, talk to her about things that you know are common interests and then, after a while, ask her to do something. Good luck. I've found that if the chemistry is right, it won't take much for you to impress her, just be yourself.

 

[AcrobatMan]

Dont ask her...

Just do it...

DO IT

GOOOOOOOO for it...

 

[gareth brown]

Uh, dude, dont' tell her your infatuated with her.

Well obviously not THAT extreme to her face, of course...! I'm not stupid!

But, yeah...thanks for the advice, guys! Will take steps to get to know her better, first, I think...! Then I'll do something about asking her out...!

Cheers again!

 

[U2democrat]

Yeah get to know her better. Then definitely go for it!! Good luck

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

I think Billy Joel speaks best here.

Tell Her About It

Listen boy, I don't want to see you let a good thing slip away.
You know I don't like watching anybody make the same mistakes I made.
She's a real nice girl and she's always there for you
but a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do.

Listen boy, I'm sure that you think you got it all under control.
You don't want somebody telling you the way to stay in someone's soul.
You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go.
But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know.
Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel.
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real.
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams.
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means.

Listen boy, it's not automatically a certain guarantee.
To insure yourself, you've got to provide communication constantly.
When you love someone, you always insecure and there's only one good way to reassure.
Tell her about it, let her know how much you care.
When she can't be with you, tell her you wish you were there.
Tell her about it every day before you leave.
Pay her some attention, give her something to believe.

Cause now and then she'll get to worrying just because you haven't spoken for so long.
Though you may not have done anything, will that be a consolation when she's gone?

Listen boy, it's good information from a man who's made mistakes.
Just a word or two that she gets from you could be the difference that it makes.
She's a trusting soul, she's put her trust in you.
But a girl like that won't tell you what you should do
Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel.
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real.
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams.
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means.
Tell her about it, tell her how you feel right now,
tell her about it, the girl don't want to wait too long.
You got to tell her about it, tell her now and you won't go wrong.
You got to tell her about it, before it gets too late,
you got to tell her about it, you know the girl don't want to wait,
you got to tell her about it…



Ok, so maybe that's a bit strong. I suggest following the advice fo others by getting to know her, THEN "tell her about it"

 

[BVS]

Take this from someone who was just like you when I was that age. JUST ASK HER OUT! Yeah it will be hard, but worth it. The worse she can say is "no". If she does say no it will hurt for a short while but you won't have the regret. Believe me the regret hurts more in the long run. Once you've done it, it's so much easier to ask the other girl out.

If she says yes, than GREAT! Trust me girls like confident men. Confidence is something you have to earn. Sometimes it takes some time. Yes you can have too much, but too little hurts everyone.

I know exactly where you stand, believe me.

 

[Laura M]

Ask her out.

A boy told me he liked me when I was 16. I thought it was great. I used to be really shy about asking people out. Now if I like someone I just go for it.

 

[gareth brown]

Take this from someone who was just like you when I was that age. JUST ASK HER OUT! Yeah it will be hard, but worth it. The worse she can say is "no". If she does say no it will hurt for a short while but you won't have the regret. Believe me the regret hurts more in the long run. Once you've done it, it's so much easier to ask the other girl out.

If she says yes, than GREAT! Trust me girls like confident men. Confidence is something you have to earn. Sometimes it takes some time. Yes you can have too much, but too little hurts everyone.

I know exactly where you stand, believe me.

oooh! I like what you're saying...!

Anywhoo, thanks again guys! You've been a great help!

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

You're making waaayyy too much out of it.

First step, is to calm down. It won't be the end of the world.

Act cool, bordering indiference. Talk to her, something casual. Act like you do this all the time. It's all a game and if you want attention you have to be different.

If she's as pretty as you say, all the guys probably tell her nice things. Don't. Don't give her the power of knowing she has something you want.

But if you don't do it you will regret forever. I'm serious. Think about it (not to put pressure on you) if you don't hurry she might get into a serious relationship before you ever even speak to her.

So, go for it. And act casual, confident. Think as though she's lucky to have you.

 

[gareth brown]

hmm...well I was ready to do all of that 'be yourself', pretty easy...

was all set to ask her if she wanted to do anything during the christmas break...and she had bloody gone home!! I was just looking for her, get it over with etc...and she was leaving early...god knows why...none of my business...the point is, I have crap luck...!