We actually worked a relaxing weekend into a visit with my Father. We decided to stay at an off-the beaten-track hotel and for anyone who wants a referral to a quiet place, check out the Shadow Mountain Resort and Tennis Club....so nice, privacy at its best...we spent Friday afternoon basking in the sun by the pool, we and about 4 others!!! private to the max...
I decided that instead of seeing Dad on Friday, I would spent that evening giving BAW and give myself a headstart on the weekend, we relaxed, had a nice dinner and we actually bedded early for what was to come....my Dad's wife wanted to talk money; she needs help financially...I have no problem with that, its convincing my siblings that they should help that is the real problem...
Saturday morning, I visited Dad alone; I took the time to catch up and it was a nice visit...its expected to expect the unexpected with him; for the first 15 minutes, he called me Mike...???,,,we have no Mike in the family but I just went along with it...I finally rolled him out to the grounds and he asked if i could just "wheel me out of this hell, you have no idea what goes on here...." Does he mean it? is it the dementia? is he merely just forgetting what's going on?
I was able to roll him to the back patio and I mentioned a haircut...he's looked a little shabby and I had the scissors and comb with me...its funny; it was when I was a teenager that I saw my father giving my grandfather a haircut, and I wondered to myself back in my teens,,,,"will I ever HAVE to do that?" Well, I answered my own question.."Yes!" On Saturday morning, I trimmed my Dad down on all sides and by all accounts, he looked pretty darn good!!
I left Dad after an hour and a half; I called his wife and told her that we would be back Saturday evening to discuss her issues...BAW and I went back to the nursing home where the topic of money came up...its something that we siblings will have to talk about even further before deciding what to do...it has to do with his portion of Hospice care..its not free; my Dad makes too much cash through his retirement and social security dispursements...
I learned that during the prior week that my Father had apparently given a speech to the other patients, ala Arnold Schwarzeneger...he apparently had everyone's attention in the main hallway; I learned that he told his wife that he wanted her to take her granddaughter home (she's 9) and asked her to come back alone so they could "do it!"...I learned that he asked the evening nurse for a shot of "something to hoist (it) up!!!"
The fact is, Dad is losing weight, he's eating a minimal amount to keep himself going; he's alert but he plays it off like he's not! He has become a focus point of all the nurses who have been warned to watch out for him!
All, in all, he looks like he did several weeks ago; his humor is there and so is his want for the female companion....I will write more in the next day or so but in the meantime, he is still with us and I can't NOT believe that your prayers and good thoughts are being addressed...
The BAW's and family