Other people's boyfriends!

[starsgoblue]

I freakin' hate it when someone let's their boyfriend dictate thier life!

Last Thursday me and my housemate had plans to go to this particular bar. Her boyfriend and his frineds didn't want to go. Fine. We went where he wanted to go. He left us after being there for an hour and a half!

This week, I made plans to go back to the club we were going to go to last week. Now...the boy calls and says he wants to go to this other place.....My friend doesn't bother to tell him he is full of shit, that we made plans for two weeks now to go to this place. Now I have to go because what else am I going to do, sit on my ass all night--all my other friends are out of town?! I'm going to get beligerantly (spelling) drunk tonight....I"M MAD! Her boyfriend is directly affecting my social life.

Why do some girls get like this?! Hello, you have a mind-speak it!

 

[Dr_Macphisto]

Tell him to go lick his nuts

 

[Danospano]

Shit, I know plenty of guys that get dictated by the women in their lives. It goes both ways, and it all goes back to sex. He's giving her sex, and you're not. It's as simple as that.

 

[starsgoblue]

Actually he's not....he's been been blowing her off and dicking her around for weeks.

 

[starsgoblue]

Tell him to go lick his nuts

Another couple of beers and I just might....I started pre-gaming here at home and I'm getting a definite buzz

 

[indra]

I had a similar situation with a friend. When I asked why she put up with that crap, you know what she said? "Because somebody has to be the boss." I asked why it had to be him (he wasn't one to make good decisions at all), and she said, "because he's the man." I couldn't decide whether to laugh or vomit.

 

[starsgoblue]

Hello. The 21st century is knocking...answer the door.

 

[dreamingoutloud1]

Some girls (and guys, i guess) are so afraid of losing their boyfriends, that they'll put up with anything, and won't go against anything that the significant other says for fear of losing them.

This isn't right, or fair, but until she comes to her senses, or gets dumped by the loser anyway, why can't you have girl's nights out without him?

or....

go out with a different girlfriend?

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

Hello. The 21st century is knocking...answer the door.

hahaha

 

[Liesje]

Some girls (and guys, i guess) are so afraid of losing their boyfriends, that they'll put up with anything, and won't go against anything that the significant other says for fear of losing them.

Sad, but true. A friend of mine has been dating this loser for two years. My boyfriend's known him for longer and told me some of the stuff he was into/still is into, mostly porny kinda stuff, which is really his business EXCEPT that he makes up excuses like he's busy and can't see his gf and then holes up in his room in front of the comp for hours. The sad part is that my friend is so naive and dense it would never cross her mind that he's got this problem. I tried to hint it once by saying "yeah, Phil said most of the guys in their house are really into porn like it's the only thing they live for..." (not my place to flat out tell her, especially since she just wants to finish school and have his babies), but she won't buy it. She thinks he's this wholesome little techy nerdling that's going to get rich making movies and father her a passel of children. If only she knew what he did with his ex girlfriend.... She's totally in denial and he's totally stringing her along. It's messed.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Some girls (and guys, i guess) are so afraid of losing their boyfriends, that they'll put up with anything, and won't go against anything that the significant other says for fear of losing them.

i lost my best friend of nearly 6 years because of this. she's dating a total control freak. he won't let them live in certain areas of town because a liquor store is too close by (people don't really hang around the stores unless they're in bad areas, which these ones weren't) or if there's stupid shit like a large gay community or something. then they got engaged to be married this summer. they called off the wedding, citing money problems (i guess they realized, not being smart enough to look at us to see how it works) that they didn't want to be newlyweds living in her parents' home. i'd already put down money to be in their wedding.

which i should mention i wasn't going to be in the first place. she invited me to be a bridesmaid, and i accepted. then she decided to kick me out without telling me and invite someone else instead because she'd "been there for her." actually, no she hadn't. she herself told me this girl just kinda stared at her when she'd have a problem, then start blabbering on about how cute justin timberlake is. no lie. so then she asked me to serve coffee at the reception. wtf. i did not listen to this girl bitch for 4 years of high school to be a fucking waitress because she's too cheap to hire a caterer. then she finally invited me back to be a bridesmaid. i should've just fucking said no but i didn't. so anyway, then they cancel it. it took me damn near 3 MONTHS to get my money back. i was getting really close to taking her to small claims court over it. she and her mom kept passing the buck to each other and never answering my phone calls. so once i got my money that was the last time i ever saw her. i moved and that's the last i've ever heard of her. thank god. i only keep her number on my cell so if she did call me, i'd know who it was so i can ignore her.

maybe that's not the best way to break a friendship off, by just ignoring them and hoping they get the message, but hell she already severed the ties by not listening to me and my mom (she was close to my mom and asked her for advice that she felt she couldn't ask her own mom) when we said the guy was a total control freak. i could go into it for hours by how else he is controlling, by like not letting her hang out with friends and when she does, he comes over to her house and waits, then gives her the silent treatment for days. and when she hangs out with a guy friend he accuses her of cheating (which isn't too far-fetched as whenever a guy so much as smiles at her, she assumes he's in love with her), etc.

why the fuck would someone stay with someone who is controlling. get some self esteem and get out!!!

 

[dreamingoutloud1]

why the fuck would someone stay with someone who is controlling. get some self esteem and get out!!!

You're absolutely right....she has no self esteem. Everything begins and ends with what her boyfriend thinks, and if she goes against what he says she fears that she'll lose him, and her identity as well.

 

[AcrobatMan]

dano hit the nail... on its HEAD

i dont understand why people cant understand that

 

[starsgoblue]

dano hit the nail... on its HEAD

i dont understand why people cant understand that

Maybe you didn't read what I wrote in response to that.


Secondly, if your ONLY motivation in relationships is for sexual gratification...you've got issues.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

Shit, I know plenty of guys that get dictated by the women in their lives.

That's me. Only without the bargaining power of sex thing. Not exactly a manwhore here, but nevertheless emotionally dependent. I think being single for the better part of two years has helped, though.

 

[AcrobatMan]

Maybe you didn't read what I wrote in response to that.


Secondly, if your ONLY motivation in relationships is for sexual gratification...you've got issues.

i dont understand the phrases you have used . "blowing her off and dicking her" are things which I dont understand.

secondly i never had a relationship or whatever comes with it.

 

[starsgoblue]

I wasn't implying that YOU personally had issues...I'm sorry if you did.

"Blowing someone off" or "dicking them over" just means like ignoring...

 

[Tomer]

a gf of a friend of mine does this too


shes real bossy

 

[xtal]

This shit happens to me too and I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a lot of friends who diss me for their stupid ephemeral boyfriends! It's like some of them disappear off the feckin planet and right when their relationship ends, they start ringing you, and I'm like, "Hello, go back to the edge of the planet that you jumped off of, because I'm not getting dicked around again."
And some girls are so needy and clingy and insecure that they fear of losing their boyfriends! How pathetic! Can't they see how pathetic they are?

I wish there were more women like me, who like to go out and have a good time with no drama, no boyfriends telling us what to do, independent and secure enough to grow some balls and tell their boyfriend to whack off.
I'm in a relationship for sex and fun and to have someone when my girlfriends aren't available, if you've got complaints, well, I ain't takin them.

 

[starsgoblue]

Haha, seriously...

 

[wolfeden]

i lost my best friend of nearly 6 years because of this. [snip]
..... so then she asked me to serve coffee at the reception. wtf. i did not listen to this girl bitch for 4 years of high school to be a fucking waitress because she's too cheap to hire a caterer. then she finally invited me back to be a bridesmaid.
[snip]
maybe that's not the best way to break a friendship off, by just ignoring them and hoping they get the message,

holy shit woman.... that's not a friend, that's a user... SERVE COFFEE????

pretty much what you did really IS the only way to cut off a toxic person like that from your life... if you try to "tell it to them gently" or whatever they find some way to hook you back in.... good lord. I'd turn inside out with shame before I'd have asked my FRIENDS to do SERVING DUTIES at my freaking wedding... sorry this just made my jaw hit the desk... damn..... guess all I'm trying to get across is, don't feel bad about cutting someone like that out of your life however you have to.