No confidence

[SWlondnr]

I've recently moved to a new school, I feel reallt awkward and out of place there..no one knows me...i only have a few people I know but I hate my form class...because they're not really "my type" of people. I hate it and my friend there not to be named she keeps using me bossing me about...i do put resistance, but it's really pissing me off. and my other is just plain dull...she doesn't say or do anyone and another one just goes off when she wants to and love bitching bout people. Sometimes I just want to move back....no one ever considerate to me there. And ever since I've moved here my confidence as dropped so much to a dangerous level...i won't even go to the shop or anything now with out feeling imensely uncomfortable.

 

[beli]

I moved school many times growing up. And it basically sucked everytime. Always the outsider.

Errm, this isnt helping is it?

There is some quote about that which doesnt kill us make us stronger - or something. I think thats very true. And it will make you more interesting. Most of the most boring people I know have never moved anywhere.

Im still not helping am I? I will shut up now.

 

[SWlondnr]

Yeah I feel like the outsider
no, lol it's ok it's very true and I've moved from a busy high fuelled city to a quet rural town and no ones ever moved anywhere! Some I don't think have ever been to London

 

[beli]

I went the other way. From mining towns to Perth. Theres a lot of people in Perth who havent been to the other side of Perth.

So I was the strange one, different habits, different accent, different English.

How long before you finish school? Once youre at Uni or in the workforce there is a wider variety of people you meet increasing the chances you will bond with someone.

 

[SWlondnr]

yeah I suppose well i've broken up for the summer so it's ok...until I have to go back

 

[beli]

How many more years of school do you have left?

 

[SWlondnr]

we'll i'm in yr 10 well 11 when i come back
so only 2 more terms yay!

 

[beli]

nearly over then. there are some people who will say the teen years are the best years of your life.

I say They Sucked.

Am I helping? Sorry.

 

[SWlondnr]

lol no i don't mind...don;t be so apologetic
wow how did you post so many?

 

[beli]

Most of my posts are crap

 

[indra]

I agree about teen years being some of the hardest years, not the best. I don't really know what to say to help you right now SWlondnr, but just try to keep your head up and realize that it's not your fault that your current school mates aren't nice to you. They are probably intimidated by you!

And really, life gets so much better as you get a little older!

 

[SWlondnr]

well yeah ok...i feel ok the most when i'm on my own sometimes....in a silent room or place.... I know that i'm not much of a team player

It's ok I won't feel worse about anything it's just something which bothers me from time to time

 

[beli]

There is this thing called the Myer Briggs personality test. It gets used a lot in workplaces. Basically there are 16 types of people. Half of them are extroverts and half are introverts.

An extrovert is defined as someone who recharges their batteries by being with other people.

An introvert is someone who recharges by being by themselves. ie must have some alone time to recover from the day.

Im an introvert by that definition. Sounds like you may be also?

 

[MooMoo!]

dont worry. i moved from Liverpool to the Isle of man and the number of friends i have here compared to in Liverpool is significantly lower.
what kind of people are they? scallies? goths? hippies? i know my way round the goths and hippies, i'd stay clear of the fag-behind-the-toilets type scallies. i always find guitar=swarms of peeps wanting to play it. so if ya wanna find a guitar buddy or somthing... (make sure thay can play well tho, otherwise its Smells Like Teen Spirt, over and over and over....until you end up punching them.)

 

[MooMoo!]

dont forget they dont know you. maybe you could do a Larry and put out an ad on a noticeboard for band members.

 

[Laura M]

I hated school. I don't think I can emphasise that enough. when I was in 3rd year - 5th (14 - 16 years old) I was really badly bullied. I was just quiet and people picked on me. A few bitchy girls were able to get a class to ignore me and it was horrible. Most of the friends I did make were in the year or 2/3 years above me so when they all left I was quite lonely. Today I am still friends with them. I talk to two people who were in my year and they were folk I never spoke to in school.

The thing I hated about my school was that their only concern was grades, we have a reputation for being the best Catholic grammar school in Belfast/ Lisburn and the competition is fierce to get in. You have to get an A grade on the exam you do the year before you enter a Grammar/ secondary school and even at that 30 people or more are being turned down each year.

When I eventually did speak to a teacher about it (because she came to me when 2 teachers had said I was withdrawn in class and she had found a girl in our class' homework diary and there were comments about me in it) nothing was really done. My tutor helped but my yearhead called everyone in for interviews. We were all warned about this happening so that meant this group of girls could all put a story together so that my story would be completely different making me look a liar. What really got on my goat was the fact she blamed me for "not having any friends". 3 or 4 folk were fighting (which I didn't know as nobody spoke to me) and I got blamed for started it all. I really can't say that school did anything for me. Yes I may have got good grades but I wasn't happy. I was miserable and even today I have no confidence in myself and I think it has something to do with the way I was treated then.

When I went into my sixth years my hate for the place just increased. The funny thing was the people I thought were all friendly hated each other and now they have no firends. Because I didn't have any friends I wasn't afraid to speak to new folk and have made lots of new friends at university. I have nothing to lose really. When I see them now they are usually on their own. I don't really feel sorry for them either. They made my life a misery. It wasn't just being ignored or taunted that I got, my school bag was thrown out of a window, my books were thrown into a sink of water just before exams and I was punched in the face three times. I hope I am a better person now for it. If I had of seen a younger person getting bullied at school I would usually go and speak to them I couldn't bear to see someone going through that. I would never treat a person badly, I think that you should treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. I am doing teaching when my degree is over and bullying is one issue I think really needs to be tackled in schools. There is big campaign on about it at the moment but schools need to be more aware of what's actually going in instead of worrying just about what grades thier pupils get.

Er, I've ranted...sorry

 

[anitram]

I've gone to school in 4 different countries and moved so many times, so I can sympathize with you. On the one hand, it's hard to be the one that is "different" and even if the reality is that you're accepted, you still feel different than the rest deep inside.

The good thing? It makes you a whole lot more adaptable in the real world and when you get older, this is such an important trait to have.

I hope it gets better for you soon.

 

[SWlondnr]

for everyone

Lara....I hope that you are having a better time than you were, some people can be really horrible but that is because they have insecurities aswell. Yeah I'm the quiet one at the back no one really notices me

 

[Laura M]

I'm having a grand time now.
When I was at school I thought everybody had lots of friends but when I speak to people now who I knew at school they tell me they hated it and haven't kept in contact with anyone. Appearances can be decieving.

 

[Another U2 nut!]

Ok I'll give a high school teacher's perspective (we actually know more than you teens think we do!)

School kids can be vicious! Kids often won't talk to another one because they see that no one else is doing it. They act with a mob mentality. If you can tap into that, say by getting to know other people, then it may become more endurable for you.

However, it seems like you're in one of those places where everyone already knows everyone else, and all their parents probably grew up together as well- that can be a tough nut to crack. But this helps- make friends with geeks. They really appreciate it, and they're really not that bad as people. Sure, they're not "cool" but they are loyal. "Cool" people only care about coolness. They can be bitchy, selfish, and nasty if you fall short of their mark.

And disassociate yourself from the friend who always bitches about ppl. If she gonna bitch about everyone else, chances are she'll bitch about you too. If she's known as being an uncool bitch, then you too might get lumped into her category, and people will assume that you are like her.

Hope this helps- now remember to be nice to your English teacher!

 

[ulove2]

Sound advice, another u2 nut.... Remember this is just one phase of your life that will pass be it fun filled or miserable. Adulthood is a whole different adventure where you really learn who you are and what you believe in. These experiences you are having, like it or not, are making you the person you will become. Hopefully, a kind compassionate person who can tell the difference between people who have a genuine interest in your personality and those who are mainly interested in themselves and surrounding themselves with people who make them look good.