Nice Guys

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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Im a bit embarrassed to say, but it just feels like, that, at my age, time is running/has run out.


:reject:

People are hooking up at different age groups more nowadays. Just make sure you avoid internet dating like the plague. Everything on the internet is about visual stimulation and that's all. Get involved in more group activities that you like and you'll find more opportunities but never force yourself to marry because being single is better than a bad relationship anyday.
 
People are hooking up at different age groups more nowadays. Just make sure you avoid internet dating like the plague. Everything on the internet is about visual stimulation and that's all. Get involved in more group activities that you like and you'll find more opportunities but never force yourself to marry because being single is better than a bad relationship anyday.

I wouldn't knock internet dating, I'd just say be careful. I know more and more couples who met online and have great relationships. I, personally, have never tried it, but it's certainly worked for others.

Also, couldn't agree more with the last sentence!
 
You know what it is, I am a spectator, and I’m reserved. This has been good for me for years but now I want to change it. However, I feel I’m met with a giant challenge because when I look around me I see just about every guy (say round my age), settled with someone. That’s why it must be vital you are young (teens mainly!) to meet someone in your peak years to spend a good few years together, see if you survive. So how the hell do I jump in? but then I look a mess, Ive had a disorder for 2 years that stressed me, last Summer couple of things stressed me, recent home events stressed me, so I keep losing weight and looking more like a grumpy unhappy rotten teabag face, than full and pretty. LOL! :lol:

My view of guys at the moment isn’t very healthy thou. Not from what Im seeing/reading/hearing.

Oh dear…………:reject:

someone slap my face with a fish. :D
 
fish-slap.gif


:lol:

you know what's attractive? liking yourself . . . trust yourself a little more gorgeous :hug:
 
I actually used to be one of these "nice guys". I was never a popular jock, and I had a lot of self confidence issues coming out of high school and going into college. Time and time again, girls I would date would dump me for much cooler guys. I was too intense. I was easy to develop STRONG feelings for a girl after one date or something. Eventually I became so bitter with all women and the institution of dating that I told myself I didn't care anymore.

So I went an entire year without attempting to date anybody. I hung out with my friends and just enjoyed college life. Then eventually, I truly just didn't care. I was having a great time, figuring out myself and where I fit in, and was gaining a lot of self confidence. I started being a nice person just because I enjoyed being nice to people, and I didn't care what they thought of me for it. Eventually I met somebody that made me want to date again, and this time it was much easier. I didn't put her on a pedastal, we were just two equals who weren't playing any games, we just liked being together. Now we've been together 5 years, married a year and a half, and we're pretty happy.

The point is, once you do have some grasp on the concept of self esteem, it makes it easier for you to interact with the opposite sex, and it makes them more easily attracted to you.
 
i'm only 19.

I'm sure you hear this all the time, but you still have PLENTY of time, and a lot of growing and self discovery in your near future. At 28, the things I've learned and experienced since I was 19 would have seemed unfathomable at that time. I went from having no self confidence at 19 to having way too much self confidence at 22-23 to eventually finding a good balance and settling down. Your 20s are an amazing journey, you'll see. Enjoy the ride.
 
Anyone got some advice on nice girls rather than nice guys?

I sorta have the same problem usually, because i'm a bit of a tomboy guys mostly see me as 'one of the guys'. It's getting kinda annoying that they never see me 'that' way..
 
Anyone got some advice on nice girls rather than nice guys?

I sorta have the same problem usually, because i'm a bit of a tomboy guys mostly see me as 'one of the guys'. It's getting kinda annoying that they never see me 'that' way..

:hug: . . . it's their loss gorgoeus girl . . .truly . . . just keep on being your beautiful, funny, clever self :hug:

^ idiots. :tsk: :wink:

and, acrobat :up:

lock all the doors
pull the phone from the wall
running high
oh i used to be
i used to be such a nice guy

:up: . . . i agree with mr wise here :yes:

gorgeous quote there by the way . . . loving mr dempsey :yes:
 
I was too intense. I was easy to develop STRONG feelings for a girl after one date or something.

I enjoyed your whole post. Good for you for stepping back and doing what you needed to do to grow as a person. :up:

I just wanted to focus on what you said above for a second. This is a HUGE deal breaker for me, when guys come on too strong at the very beginning. At that point, you don't even really know the person yet (usually), and if you're behaving in that way so soon, women can see through that. It's not them you're intensely interested in, because you don't even know them yet at that early stage of the game, it's some ideal you've created in your head that you're so intent on getting. It reeks of desperation, and says to the girl that it's not her that's caught your attention because she's special, you'd probably behave that way with anyone.

That said, I know it's hard to find the balance between an almost obsessive interest, and appearing to not give a shit, for some people. Do you call her the next day, or wait for a week? If she doesn't pick up, do you wait days and days for her to call back, or do you leave eleventy billion voice mails? Somewhere between these two extremes is the answer.

Anyone got some advice on nice girls rather than nice guys?

I sorta have the same problem usually, because i'm a bit of a tomboy guys mostly see me as 'one of the guys'. It's getting kinda annoying that they never see me 'that' way..

:hug:
 
hey living thing!
buy me a drink!
and drive me out to the airport
give me two hundred dollars and say
the best thing anyone's ever said...

i've seen him before, it's worth it. FANTASTIC show.
 
I'm also one of those 'nice guys' that was described. I haven't had anything resembling a serious relationship, and I'm always getting handed the 'let's be friends' excuse.

I realize now that there's something seriously wrong that needs to be corrected. I know that women don't like bad guys, but they don't seem to like nice guys, either. I have to meet somewhere in the middle...somehow.
 
LOL yeah, I suspect if I was a bit mean, with tons of muscles and a stuck up attitude, I'd do better with relationships. It seems like nice guys (and nice girls, too) just can't win. :(
 
I'm also one of those 'nice guys' that was described. I haven't had anything resembling a serious relationship, and I'm always getting handed the 'let's be friends' excuse.

I realize now that there's something seriously wrong that needs to be corrected. I know that women don't like bad guys, but they don't seem to like nice guys, either. I have to meet somewhere in the middle...somehow.

I've been told by someone that is generally right that the reason why women "friendzone" a guy is primarily for two reasons only:

1. She is not sexually attracted to him
2. He is not a "protector" type but more the type in which she has to act as his mother figure because he either has a volatile personality, lacks common sense or is financially irresponsible.
 
I've been told by someone that is generally right that the reason why women "friendzone" a guy is primarily for two reasons only:

1. She is not sexually attracted to him
2. He is not a "protector" type but more the type in which she has to act as his mother figure because he either has a volatile personality, lacks common sense or is financially irresponsible.

Maybe this falls under 2 but - "he doesn't know what he wants" - that is one of the worst qualities you can have in a man and a lesson that I learned very well. If you don't know what you want (from me, from life), you're being friended immediately and without looking back.
 
Maybe this falls under 2 but - "he doesn't know what he wants" - that is one of the worst qualities you can have in a man and a lesson that I learned very well. If you don't know what you want (from me, from life), you're being friended immediately and without looking back.

YES. Several months ago, I disentangled myself from a don't-know-what-he-wants nice guy. A situation I let continue for longer than I care to admit. Lesson learned - he's not going to come to the sudden realization that it's you. If it's you, he'll know immediately. Otherwise, don't waste your time.
 
Maybe this falls under 2 but - "he doesn't know what he wants" - that is one of the worst qualities you can have in a man and a lesson that I learned very well. If you don't know what you want (from me, from life), you're being friended immediately and without looking back.

I know exactly what I want in a girlfriend. Someone that is affectionate and that when I'm with her makes me feel completely safe and secure without necessarily even trying too hard. But hold on....that's a mother figure, isn't it? :lol:
 
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